Ass Effect - from Something Awful

From Joystiq - Griffin McElroy, Dec 1st, 2007:

"We've recently finished our first play-through Bioware's gargantuan space opera, and while we walked away from the experience with great satisfaction, we humbly suggest they change the title of the game from Mass Effect to 'The Galactic Adventures of Chatty Cathy.' Seriously, you'll exchange more words with your enemies than you will bullets. It's like a 12 Angry Men simulator, only in space, and sans Tony Danza.

One of the goons at Something Awful recently made a parody of the lengthy conversation system in Mass Effect. Don't judge the comic by it's corny title (Ass Effect? Really?), as it actually has a few nuggets of comedy gold. However, if you haven't played the game yet, you might not get some of the jokes -- in which case, we present an alternate comic: Marmaduke!

He's a dog who thinks he's a person!"

Note: The comic has 5 pages.

[stunt213]

Ok wtf??? thats not even funny

[evolution54]

That was sorta funny but I don't think they needed to make 5 freaking pages of comic strips to prove their point across.

[N4GayFanturds]

This site is being overrun by Sony GAYngsters

[Kyur4ThePain]

I don't think Peg would be happy with you calling him that.
But yes...lame.

[TheExecutive]

lol a dude that has dragunballz for a name doesnt have a right to call anyone GAY.

On another note... this article isnt really news and it isnt even funny... Ass Effect is kinda funny but thats about as far as it goes.

[solidt12]

Just because you don't like the Playstation brand does not make everyone who does gay. Anyway the comic could of been alot better.

[The_Engineer]

A GROWN MAN that calls himself "dragunballz" should be investigated by the proper authorities....lol

[games4fun]

and this is not news, in fact its a pretty pethatic, thanks roundpeg could you ruin the news integrity of this site anymore? its just a flame war waiting to happen, now a retaliatory article for 360 fanboys will ensue wich is just as classless.

edit: and catastrophe i put you in the same boat as roundpeg for being the tipster.

[nomad117]

I guess it depends on your cup of tea. I really enjoy games like mass effect If it's anything like KOTOR

[BadTaste]

In before Wil4hire.

[Wii60PS3DSPSP]

I was expecting a gay picture with Mass Effect characters or a low review score but I guess this isn't so bad.

[sak500]

Reported, both story and contributor.

[The_Engineer]

which means the admin has a sense of humor unlike some of you xbot twats.

[Alpha_Gamer]

That was dumb.

[Captain Tuttle]

That was funny! "Sloppy Joe's" hehehe.

I love Something Awful.

[RadientFlux]

Actually if you read the entire article from the SomethingAwful homepage you notice on the last page the One Sentence review they gave Mass Effect ( http://www.somethingawful.c...

I've been going to SomethingAwful for more 5+ years a great humor site that makes fun of everything.

[Captain Tuttle]

I'm an '05 myself.

[gamesblow]

Mass Effect -

6 reviews at 100%

27 reviews 90%

overall 91 %

Ratchet and clank -

7 reviews 100%

30 reviews at 90%

Overall 89%

You do the math people... keep in mind 12 reviews for R&C were never tabulated and they're at 57 reviews total, while... mass effect is at 67 reviews total. A game that came out nearly 3 weeks later has all their reviews in and accounted for.

Bias much?

[japanese_dawn]

I was just watching today, reading that gamerankings, that site sucks bit time. No disrespect, ME is the only game I would like to play on 360, but recently the game got about three to four 8-9 (80-90%) rankings. And on the gamerankings, they've just posted one, ONLY ONE 8.5 rank, and rest are 9+, thought game got more 8's than 9's and 10's. Why the fu(k is that? Uncharted for PS3, every day I see another 9 or 10, no bellow 9, and they just posted one or two above 9, rest are bellow 9.

[Snukadaman]

while metacritic does the same thing as game reviews..no one gives metacritic any credit...and how did uncharted garner a 88%..ps3 owners consider this game the face of god right?

thats right huh pacman615..but tell me this..its been a year for the ps3..where is the ps3's gears of war??gow sold 900K by its 2nd week and has a meatacritic percentage of 94%...what happend too where no game that has come out on the ps3 hasnt scored over 95%...every game that has scored over 90 are multiplats.which are those 3..highest exclusive is ratchet and clank at 89%...you figure if the ps3 were king it would have more games people want too buy and critics love..but then again microsoft controls the media blah blah blah..

[pacman615]

no matter how hard they try to kick dirt on the ps3, they can't hold it back ,that part is inevitable.

@ snicka you are comparing 2 years for the fire hazard 360, and 1 year for the king ps3 , far as i can remember the xflop had only 1 game worth playing in its first year which was gears of war, and that campaign mode was less than 6 hours long

[solidt12]

Ratchet and Clank, and Mass Effect are two different types of games so no math to do. They are not in competition with each. They are both Great Games

[godofthunder10]

the 360 had a lot more games then gears of wars to play in it's first year and how in the hell can you call the ps3 is the king when it's in last place,and i think that you are a hypercrit for calling the 360 a fire hazard because sony had just as much of a trouble with the ps2 and 1 because of the drives that was in them,i went through 5 ps in less then a year and a half because it kept saying can't read disc even when it was a new system and game and sony didn't do a damn thing about it.it took sony about 2 years in the consoles life to fix it right,but i'll admit that sony got it right the first time with the ps3 but it took them 3 generation of consoles to get right.
like i said when sony had problems with the ps1 and 2 in their first 2 years, sony didn't do a damn thing but you still want to critize microsoft for giving every one a 3 year warrinty on their 360 and that's half of a consoles life,hell what else do you want,you want them to give every one a 6 year warrinty,hell they would laugh you out the door and the 360 is the only electronic product that you get a 3 year warrinty without buying 2 more years,hell sony would never do that if they would've cared about their consumers then they would've did something with the ps1 and 2 so their consumers wouldn't have to buy a new one in 4 to 6 months.
what people don't understand is that its really not microsoft fault.the pieces that was causing the over heating was subed out to another company.the most riducluse thing that i've read is people saying that microsoft isn't fixing the 360 they are putting the same pieces back in,hell it would cost them more to do that then it is to fix them and on top of that it's illigal to put a piece back in an electronic product when it was provin defective.i know that some people get their 360 back and they still have some problems with them,but sometimes it's the banging it takes in shipment,i know one person who got his back and the box was smashed and when he opened it ,it was crack but microsoft fixed it anyway even when it wasn't their fault what happened to it.i had my 360 since launch and i never had a problem with it,but i keep it in a well ventilated place.my brother put his on his carpet and it went out and he still had the nerves to curse it,hell you could even take the ps3 and put in on a carpet and play it for a while and sooner or later it will over heat to
it's about time people stop talking about the rrod because it's FIXED,face it and get over it,find something else to critize the 360 about if you can.
i'll admit that i hate sony but they have a good system with the ps3 but microsoft has a good system to.the ps3 does some things better then the 360 and the 360 does some things better then the ps3.unlike some people i'll give credit where credit is due and instead of critizing the 360 just because you have a ps3 is childish,hell i have a 360 and i love it but the ps3 is a real good system and i'll admit it even if i hate sony.
what i like to know is how can people hope that a japanese company beats an american company because i just can't understand it.when two writers for game magazines in japan were intervied and asked why the 360 just can't seem to sell in japan,they replied that the japanese people are proud of their country and buy japanese products as much as possiable to support their economy and they especially hate to buy products from the U.S.i never cared for sony but after that i hate them,so please tell me how in the hell you can pull for a japanese company to beat an american company.my grandfather was in ww2 fighting for the U.S against japan and now we are giving them the U.S because of people buying their products.
years ago they came out with a slogan that said buy american.they said that if we don't start now then we will be dependent on japan for all of our products.well people didn't listen back then and they are not listing now because we depend on japan for everything and because people kept buying their products they gave them the power to buy about half of the U.S hell they bought up almost all of our small farms.but an american can't own a company in japan.japan allow about 3/4 less imports from america that they export to the U.S and if it was another country we wouldn't let that happen.
well i'm like the japanese,i'm proud of my country to and i support it as much as possiable.i buy products from america as much as i can to help the U.S economy out not some other country economy and we should do what they do,we should refuse to buy products from japan like they refuse to buy american products.all i can say is that your proities are in the wrong place.

[The_Engineer]

since metacritic is a sister company of CNET who is owned by you know who. So no in fact their intentionally doctored scores of PS3 games are no surprise at all.

[367 To Your Ass]

this is a test, a test to see if my key board still works, well you know what IT STILL WORKS.

YOU LOSE I WIN.

[actas123]

You need help man.

[Daxx]

I knew this day would come. >_<

[367 To Your Ass]

go ahead get fvcking fire works i'll bring the fvcking beers.

[The Only Truth]

...not funny

[skagrerrrr]

is a great game.

As for Ass Effect - it's just some envious deprived fan-g@y connivance of the butt orifice.

[AnthonyPerez]

I do think the way Shephard talks is annoying. "Tell me more about," "I need more information about.."

[HarryEtTubMan]

mY FRIENDS coulndt even finish it... they said it was boring.,...boring and framerate skips...boring... thats all they have said. Too muvh talking... boring.

[Mwaan]

Most rpgs are basically interactive movies, but with Mass Effect, YOU get to choose what to say. How is that boring? I don't let ANYONE tell me if a game is good or bad. Because no two people will have the same opinion about anything.

[Rhezin]

hahahhaa............no...omg haha he took the M off Mass and OMG! its now ASS effect! HOW F!CKING ORIGINAL! i swear to god whoever pays these pricks needs to be shot.

[aba]

Jade Raymond's c*cksucking adventure was better.

[socomnick]

lol

[solidt12]

If you are going to make fun of Mass Effect at least make it funny. That was a bore.

[Jandre02]

-Tell me more about the trays

lol

[sicknnyc]

You dont need to play the game, to Understand what the Artist hates about it!

ROTFL
This > Jade's comic

[JasonXE]

where the text fills up on the screen talking about the trays.

[solar]

i saw "ass effect" and i thought it was about olivia munn's ass. damn it...

[Wii60_FTW]

L....M......F......A......O... ....

[thereapersson]

Then it just overstayed its welcome

[thepill88]

These were taken strait from the Xbox DVD. I can see now why the ratings on this break out title were as high as they were... The graphics are outstanding, pushing the Xbox to its limits...

[The_Engineer]

although your avatar is deeply disturbing that was funny

[socsca]

Ass affect, haha.

[secur1ty911]

Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass EfAss Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect fectAss Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect Ass Effect THIS GAME SUCKS ITS ALL TALKING -- JUST GO AND RENT OUT A MOVIE.

OR Go play Uncharted Drakes Fortune on a wonderful innovative sexy hot wintery holiday FULL OF FUN = P L A Y S T A T I O N 3.

xBOX OWNERS ARE ALL NERDS AND ACT LIKE GIRLS ON MENAPAUSE go and buy a real gaming consloe you bunch of idiots oh and I hope the Red Rings of Death appear right before your eyes.

Happy Holidays to all Ps3 owners and future owners.

[ichimaru]

is this a serious post? this site has went from a new site to a fanboy's playground.