230°

Why Wii U is a Kids Toy

Why Nintendo's new game system is completely useless to anyone over the age of 12. A parody.

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systemwarsmagazine.com
-Mika-4198d ago (Edited 4198d ago )

Say what you want but the cow did make some good points. From the cases to the OS. It does make the system look childish. It doesn't have the sophisticated look that Sony or MS gamecases/OS has.

Nintendo is a family/children company. So to the core gamers that buying this system. Expect the OS interface to look childish and expect everything to look kiddy. That just how it is when it comes to Nintendo as you can see from their past handhelds/consoles.

chadboban4198d ago (Edited 4198d ago )

You do realize that this is EXTREMELY sarcastic right? I mean for crying out loud the description says "parody". I thought you would of gotten that when you read the last line:

"They should make it like Sony does the Playstation, design it for no one. Look at the PS3!"

*Picture of PS3 Super Slim*

"Not a single part of its design process considered the costumer, and that’s why I love it. They focus on the tech, not on stupid things like “concave triggers” and “updating the Dual Shock design to standards that aren’t from 1998.”

"Nintendo still thinks that success comes from giving people something they can use, instead of something that looks good on a tech sheet."

"What idiots."

But why am I even surpised? Of course you'd obviously believe he was being serious because he basically said alot of things that you spew all the time. It's almost like in order to make himself sound like a retarded fanboy he took notes directly from you.

Gr814198d ago

I say Oh Brother because I knew this parody would bring out the trolls such as yourself and not see the humor here and instead go off on a nonsensical rant..such as what you did.

In any case, it was a well written article.

Griffin48714198d ago

You really just fail, don't you? He was being sarcastic. Such a fanboy...

MegaLagann4198d ago

I hope you realize this was a satire making fun of people like you.

stragomccloud4198d ago

Dude. It was a sarcastic article. You always provide loads of laughter.

ronin4life4198d ago (Edited 4198d ago )

Guys... mika spouts infactual crap all the time, no matter how ridiculous. No matter how crazy. No matter how constantly proven false.

How are we so sure mika is serious? I've been thinking... mika may ALSO be a parody...
O.o;;

dubal-e4198d ago

You were just born to spam and troll wern't you?

JokerFock4198d ago

mika will buy wii u @ launch day...no doubt! lol

Temporary4198d ago

Mika, you might be the most pathetic troll on N4G, next to Evildead.

Thank you thought for making this parody so much more funny than it was meant to be.

metroid324198d ago

Another kid that thinks that Ninty are kiddy if that's true why do Ninty have more of an older audience than Sony with all its teenagers and sub teenagers ect Ninty have the most mature gamers due to owning the late 80's and 90's ect and thats a fact this new generation will only make Sony/Microsoft more obsolete.

WiiUalpha4198d ago

Mika a prime example of the bias on this site... Does nothing but troll but is never banned. If a NIntendo supporter went into a Sony article and said something like Sony is in 3rd place, they would most likely be banned even though it's the truth, but then Sony supporters like Mika are allowed to say whatever garbage they want and nothing is ever done to them.

I'd love one of the mods to explain to me why it is you can only be banned for showing Sony in a negative light no matter how remotely true yet we have Mika,Divine Assault, SHutupand wahtever, and a few others that do nothing positive for this site and only spread ignroance and hate.

+ Show (9) more repliesLast reply 4198d ago
TripC504198d ago

The cow is just upset because it has hooves and can't play video games at all and it is obviously sexually confused. It acts like a bull but its a cow with utters.

FanMan4198d ago

did you even read the the article?

browngamer414198d ago

Obvious sarcasm..kinda funny.

Schawk4198d ago (Edited 4198d ago )

I love the concept behind the OS , it looks well integrated, haters will be haters tho, watch the rest copy nintendo again.

This is the reason you havent heard anything from the other 2, they are watching how nintendo do there thing, then they copy
all the gizmos built into the gamepad including video chat Wii u gamepad makes ps3 and 360 controllers look like dinosaurs

zebramocha4198d ago

You you can do like six way video chat with the ps eye.

Stroke6664198d ago

But the gamepad comes with the system, not as an expensive add-on. and it does way more than just vidchat

Neonridr4198d ago

wow, that was very funny. Amazingly the article tries so hard to put down the Wii U in ways that actually make it look good instead. Very well written parody!

Sanquine904198d ago

Oke, I am playing on this console:D Let me play with my kids toy:D :D

Show all comments (53)
80°

How Many More Victims, Like Garry's Mod, Will Nintendo's Hurtful Crusade Create?

Hanzala from eXputer: "As Nintendo takes out 20 years' worth of stuff from Garry's Mod, I watch in shock, thinking why it continues to hurt and discourage its fans."

RiseNShine4d ago (Edited 4d ago )

The irony that some of the most disgusting business practices come from companies like Disney or Nintendo, i can't even begin to understand what terrible damage was Garrys Mod making to Nintendo bottom line, imho they're getting pretty nervous about where they're heading in the future, handhelds are no longer something exclusive to Nintendo, from Steam Deck to many others, now you can play the latest games and pay a fraction of the price on Steam sales, so it's up to their exclusives, which just on their own would make hard to justify purchasing a closed overpriced hardware with outrageous price policies (Super Mario Odyssey is still 60 euro 6 years later!), and as a home console they're always underperforming compared to Sony or Xbox.

gold_drake3d ago (Edited 3d ago )

i cam guarantee you, that their exclusives alone is what drives switch sales. they sell in the 10s of millions of copies.

nintendo created their franchises to be sort of nostalgia driven, exclusive only on nintendo.

people will always buy the pkmn games as they always bring in new younger fans amd is family friendly

mario kart, the same thing, mario games in general.

zelda games are system sellers. animal crossing for the casual gamers.

nintendo doesnt need third vame devs essentially. they made sure with the switch and the limitations that they looked more to pc ps and xbox.

its sad, but nintendo is more than fine with what they're doing. they positioned themselves to appeal to the more casual gamers.

but to your point, im not sure why they're doing this rly.

Inverno3d ago

Look at how they handled Nintendo games being streamed or uploaded on YouTube in the past. They killed Yuzu and Citra even when they had nothing to do with ToTK being leaked, not to mention it was basically unplayable on emulation the week it was leaked. Smash Bros tournament, that was fairly recent. They shut down their online services without any care for purchases made. I bought a switch after skipping their last 2 consoles and handhelds but I don't plan on buying anything Nintendo in the future. They take things to the extremes, they legitimately hate their fans. They're honestly right up there with the likes of Acti, EA, and Ubi, only difference is that they disguise themselves as being family friendly all the while being shady.

80°

Nintendo's Massacre Of The 3DS And Wii U Is Finally Complete, Regrettably

Hanzala from eXputer: "The cruel hammer of Nintendo has fallen. Farewell, 3DS and Wii U, you surely brightened my life and many others; you won't be forgotten."

280°

Xbox's Preservation Step Sets A Much-Needed Example, Especially For Nintendo

Hanzla from eXputer inquires: "If Xbox can care about preserving its games and legacy, what exactly is wrong with Nintendo, trying to kill game preservation single-handedly?"

purple10124d ago

Ahh yes the good old game preservation of saving all your games to a removable hhd on the Xbox 360, taking it round your mates house, setting up multiple tvs to
Be met with “save data corrupted, please re download”

Or how about removing 360 games
From the store
, download them now or else, and, better hope to god that save data doesn’t corrupt, or it’s lost for ever

Nice one ☝️

Zeref23d ago

It's better than what Nintendo and Playstation is doing. It might not be perfect but at least they are TRYING. Unlike the others.

DarXyde23d ago

Trying? Take off the blinders for a moment, mate.

1. A failure to preserve games is just that: a failure to preserve games. Don't try to sugarcoat it: NO ONE is doing it properly. Better than awful is nothing to write home about.

2. At the time of this comment, isn't it the case that you need an internet connection to play Xbox games even if you buy physical discs that are hardly in circulation anymore? I don't have a Series X and I can't verify, but I think that is correct. I'm fairly certain you can at least play PS5 games at version 1.0 (not much of a win really when many games require day one patches). I think Microsoft's all digital, licensing approach is by far more aggressive than anyone else's. They really try to push you to game pass where you lose your entire library by umm.... Skipping a month of payments.

I don't think anyone is doing it right whatsoever. Don't get me started on Nintendo, who goes after anyone looking to preserve their games better than they ever would with extreme litigation.

Don't be a simp for any of these companies. Get it together.

PhillyDonJawn23d ago (Edited 23d ago )

@DarX never speak on Xbox again. You lost all credibility with your internet connection comment. Smh you have 0 clue and misinformed yet speaking on something you don't no squat about.

Einhander197223d ago

What has Sony done exactly? You guys keep deflecting to Sony but I am not actually seeing any results, and ai am certain nothing that you can come up with even comes close to what Microsoft has done and what they have tried and failed to do, like tie all your disks to your account on xbone.

Microsoft removed their whole indie section when they moved to the xbone because they were going to only allow games on the service that came from a publisher, id@xbox started after xbone launched and it only exists because Sony embraced indie and Microsoft was forced to cancel their plans and reverse course.

And every single game that was part of games for windows live including disk games (I have gta 4 on disk that won't work) so hundreds of games that use that DRM no longer work unless the company themselves patched it out which of course very few did.

MrBaskerville23d ago

Not trying. Tried. they killed of the backcomp program years ago. They set something up again, but sounds like it's more of an attempt to save the current library on whatever they are planning next. With luck they save everything and more, but let's see. I could see them killing off parts of the OG xbox and 360 libraries. Can't imagine that they would allow us to play Forza 5-7 in the future.

With that said, I do like what they've done and really wish they could have done more.

shinoff218323d ago

Zeref

So killing off physical media is trying what exactly. Ms don't really give a fk if you think they do your kidding yourself.

Profchaos23d ago

They are not trying this team is established for forward compatability the team is. It interested in preserving Xbox or 360 games.

+ Show (3) more repliesLast reply 23d ago
isarai24d ago

Is that why Hellblade 2 is digital only?

Zeref23d ago

Just because it's digital only doesn't mean you can't preserve it. Just put it on an external and you have the exact same functionality of what a disc does.

MrNinosan23d ago

Guess you're trolling, but if you actually think that's how it works, I'd recommend buying some braincells.

mkis00723d ago (Edited 23d ago )

Volitile vs nonvolitile data. A disc will not corrupt either. A drive can be corrupted.

Einhander197224d ago

This is just a scammy PR move to distract from the fact they are going digital only and trying to push streaming and subscriptions only.

No gaming company has pushed harder to remove ownership than Microsoft.

Without discs there is no preservation, preservation can't be done by the rights holders it can only be done by the consumers, anything else is a lie.

24d ago Replies(3)
Einhander197224d ago

Anyone remember xblig which Microsoft removed their whole 360 indie section removing hundreds of games from people?

24d ago
24d ago
Zeref23d ago

Do you know you can put your games on an external and preserve them that way? There are no benefits to discs. ZERO. Idk why some of you are still obsessed with them.

DarXyde23d ago

Because games like Persona 5 exist. It's STILL V1.00. On Playstation, that's a win because 1.00 is installed on the disc—no need to download anything.

If a game does not require any updates, it's all on the disc.

Extremely low bar in the modern era, of course. It's not much of a win by any stretch.

But for now, physical media does have a purpose, at least on Playstation.

Einhander197223d ago

That is factually not how game licensing works, try plugging your hard drive into someone else xbox, It's not going to work, and it won't work if the licensing servers ever go down.

Einhander197223d ago

Anyone remember games for windows live.

I have around a dozen games, some on Steam itself that will not work because Microsoft shut off the licensing servers.

BehindTheRows23d ago (Edited 23d ago )

I do. I STILL have games (Gears of War being the big one) I cannot access because Games for Windows LIVE is total garbage and no one has held Microsoft accountable.

Zeref23d ago (Edited 23d ago )

You don't have an Xbox apparently. Because you can 100 percent plug in your external and play games from it on any Xbox console lol. You just have to be logged in to prove ownership.

Chevalier23d ago

"You don't have an Xbox apparently. Because you can 100 percent plug in your external and play games from it on any Xbox console lol. You just have to be logged in to prove ownership."

Damn how many times do people got to explain your idiocy to you? You can take a copy of Persona 5 like someone used as an example and play that game on ANY console WITHOUT logging in which means I can lend the game to a friend without internet and they can play my game. Can you lend your hard drive to anyone without logging in for them to play? NOPE. That is a huge difference and if you think otherwise then sorry you're an idiot.

Tacoboto23d ago

"No gaming company has pushed harder to remove ownership than Microsoft."

Ubisoft is literally erasing games people bought from their libraries... My PS1-3 discs are useless on modern hardware. Nintendo's re-published and resold almost their entire Wii U library, and the eShop is completely dead with no BC mechanism in the Switch software. Microsoft publishes everything they make today day one on Steam and Xbox/Windows. Sony only brings to PC the titles they think you might want some years later and Nintendo won't even design a functional long-lasting joystick.

You're absolutely trolling and not serious if you think Microsoft today is the worst offender.

shinoff218323d ago

Yay steam

Not everyone fks with computers though. The disc is still the best way as a console player. Period.

Tacoboto23d ago

How do Sony and Nintendo feel about these discs from 2001-2013?

Don't be stupid, you know Xbox is the best at this today.

+ Show (3) more repliesLast reply 23d ago
Hofstaderman24d ago

Nobody wants this. Sales or the lack of it in the case of XBOX is very telling. I wonder how the adorably all digital series X will fare. Adorably dismal perhaps?

crazyCoconuts23d ago

Only time will tell, but for from someone like me suspecting that Xbox is trying to gracefully exit the console market, that "forward compatibility" team is trying to get Xbox games playing on Windows PCs. I mean, it's nice that they're not planning on exiting with a "enjoy your games while the hardware still works" message, so that's nice. They still have a brand to protect via Microsoft so probably feel obligated to have a better exit strategy.

Xeofate23d ago (Edited 23d ago )

That is not their plan, their plan is to transfer users accounts to the cloud.

Phil Spencer himself said as much a few months back, plans could have changed but I think people are reading way too much into one statement where Phil said he would allow Epic on xbox because he wants to be able to sell xbox games directly on other platforms. Aka, instead of selling Sea of Thives through PSN he wants to have an xbox store to sell his games on PlayStation without giving PlayStation any money.

Again, it's extremely unlikely that Phil plans to put PC on xbox and licensing would prevent them from just giving out other publishers games purchased on xbox copies of thier games on PC, Microsoft does not own their games.

crazyCoconuts22d ago

The thing that doesn't align with the cloud strategy is the giving up on exclusives. You'd still need strong exclusives for cloud streaming - it's still a "platform" , just with a lower upfront hardware investment. I feel like they've learned what PS learned with PSNow long ago. We're not ready to stream games and it's only gonna lose them money to try at this point

FinalFantasyFanatic23d ago

I would love that, I'd buy up some of the Xbox games if they could run on PC, like the Rare Replay, Lost Odyssey and Dead or Alive Ultimate, probably a pipe dream though.

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