Under fire: Women who dare to play video games

In the world of online gaming, females are increasingly on the receiving end of sexist abuse, but one woman's decision to document this abuse has highlighted an issue that many would rather ignore. Metro listens to her gaming story.

[Conzul]

*She plays COD*

Well there's your problem righ there.

[Dovahkiin]

People who play CoD primarily, aren't really gamers. Well they are, but casual ones at best.

[Hufandpuf]

a lot of people that play COD also play Halo because for some reason, any game that isn't in Esports isn't "hardcore"

[Pushagree]

What people fail to understand is the reason why there is so much hate language in the online community in the first place. Shooting video games have one purpose and one purpose only:to blow off steam. People who shout into the mic are simply venting and shoting off stress in the only enviornment that will allow them to do so. This society that we live in instructs us to hold in our anger and our stress in order to avoid embarassing ourselves, but ultimately, bottling that negative stress only leads to further mental problems somewhere down the line and possibly even drastic explosive behavior ranging from physical conflict to even school shootings. I am a firm believer that people who spout vile things into the mic are not doing it to spite others, but to let go of the weight that life puts on them on a daily basis. It should not be taken too seriously and the people on the reveiving end of it should acknowlege the likely emotional pain that that person has.

[f789790]

Exactly. My friends say horrible stuff to each other during the match. Afterwards it's like we never said a thing. Girls who have a problem with that don't understand the gaming culture.

And since when is this "increasing"? It's always been the way it's been. Full of hate speech.

[DragonKnight]

@Pushagree: Never have I read a comment related to this subject that I have agreed more with. Thank you. I award you as many internets as would equal a Nobel Peace Prize. Finally someone who gets it. There are too many people in this world who would tell us what we can and can't say and when. Truth is we are emotional beings and have to have some place to release stress. Some people are vindictive and purposely hurtful, but many are just saying what comes to their mind out of bottled up anger, frustration, and annoyance.

I really wish people would get over themselves.

[Bimkoblerutso]

Somewhat off-topic, but the whole "letting anger out" thing is a myth. Studies conducted over the years suggest that "letting out" anger on a regular basis is actually habit-forming and leads to incremental increases in outbursts, or at least the "need" for outbursts. In other words, it is actually more detrimental than holding anger in.

In fact, they say holding it in forces you to develop coping mechanisms overtime that don't involve fits of psychotic behavior (physically harmless or otherwise).

[Conzul]

^ ^ ^
citation needed stat

[Bimkoblerutso]

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/...

http://www.psychologytoday....

Just to be clear, video games CAN be a very good stress reliever, but "venting anger" (a very different beast) in the form of verbally abusive or otherwise irrational/destructive behavior is NOT healthy. In other words, cooling down is not the same as "lifting the flood gates," so to speak.

I know I sound like a goddamn old man saying all this, but I truly just don't think there's any reason for the way people act online.

[Conzul]

Also women care when they're being called something. Guys typically don't.

This "problem" won't go away; it's the nature of the beast.

[Bimkoblerutso]

I don't disagree with you, you know. I think women are a little more outspoken about the abuse, but I don't think there should be ANY delusion here that it's a male vs. female thing. I am almost constantly berated when I first start into shooters.

It's just that I see no justification in it, either. "Venting anger" is not a valid excuse for the crap people spew online.

[Baka-akaB]

My only problem with such topics and debate , is that people generally act as if women were polite and delicate flowers online .

So ok they do get abused verbally and harassed , but they do yell and insult too online .

[Getowned]

I agree my friend who I will not name, she always trash talks infact i've never saw her lose, I don't even mess with her IRL. Tough Woman she is ..rude, crude, and vary perverted XD She more perverted that any of my male friends LOL its really funny, most people IRL look at her like "O_O I can't believe you went there"

She would probably tell all the women complaining about the abuse to stop being a pussy.

but when I meet a girl gamer, I normally ignore her, just because she will think I'll hit on her or be "abusive."

[AO1JMM]

1. Mute! Use it!
2. Block! Use it!
3. Report! Use it!

[Lex Luthor]

Exactly.

[aLucidMind]

While I do agree, it is pathetic when you run into 10 year-old kids behaving more maturely than 30/40+ year-old men. Being able to mute them on your end does not excuse somebody for being a jackass (I know you didn't say it does, I'm just saying).

[AO1JMM]

You are right but unfortunately those idiots exist and quite a bit are gamers like us.

[NautilusXIII]

@AO1JMM Agree

[helghast102]

Stop flaunting your gender and you don't get singled out.

Attention whores get attention and then cry that it's not the kind of attention they wanted, boohoo.

[Shadowstar]

Yeah! If only they would change their voices so they didn't sound like women!

[pandehz]

I want to disagree with so many here and have so many things to say.

Its not about freedom of speech
Its not about venting your anger
Its not about what the world tells you to do or not
Its not about expression or emotion

Its always about responsibility when in public space.

Kind of finding it hard to make ppl understand without being specific and not hurting their confidence so I guess this'll have to do lol

[SageHonor]

Attention seeking chump

EVERYBODY that has ever played online has either

1) Been trash talked
2) Have trash talked
3) Heard trash talk take place

It's part of online gaming. Everybody has had to deal with all kinds of insults. I've had a crap ton of racial slurs sent to me via messages and through the mic. I mute/ignore it or just laugh at it. You'll never find me writing a blog about it or having whats been said to me appear in a blog.

[Hufandpuf]

I've been trashed talked about my playstlye, not my gender. When you get hate because of WHO YOU ARE is when it is abuse.

[SageHonor]

I've been trash talked about my race and gender. But yo wont see me making any kind of deal out of it.

@lucid. I dont excuse the behavior at all. Just stating the way it is.

[aLucidMind]

The option to mute them does not excuse their behavior. Trash talk is fine, but there is a significant difference between trash-talking and being a disrespectful prick. It is pathetic when I come across 10 year-olds that behave far more maturely than 30/40+ year-old men.

[bubblebeam]

Sadly, the only options you have is to mute them or report them.

I think if people were able to send a report along with a copy of the message they received to Microsoft/Sony (talking about gaming here, but goes for anything), the offending person should get an instant ban. Also taking into account what has been said on both sides.

I know some of my female friends on PSN and XBL are reluctant to use their mics unless they are in a private chat or party. That pisses me off a little, that people feel the need to hide.

I am not blaming this on males (I am a male), just the gaming culture in general needs to grow up. If you get beaten in a game, suck it up. The amount of hate messages I get calling me a f-a-g and loser is astonishing, just for beating someone at a game. Considering I work 60+ hours a week as a mechanic, the small amount of time I get to play games I have to listen to people screaming through my speakers.

Fortunately, I can laugh off insulting messages. I suggest to anyone that if you receive hate messages, just send a smiley face back, maybe a "thank you" or "have a nice day".
It works, and makes you feel better knowing you took the higher ground, and perhaps your calm response might get the person to realise how stupid they are acting. I sometimes even get a friend request with an apology :)