VB writes: As a (nearly) obsessive gamer and rather unsociable person, I can’t say I have very much experience with romance. I’ve tried making a move once or twice, but for some reason girls just aren’t interested when I ask them if they want to play with my Wii. Go figure.
But since my parents are threatening to evict me, I’ll need to learn how to woo a prospective spouse with my manly charms. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been learning all that I can about love from video games. The correct way to make an advance, where to bring her on a date, what kind of presents to give, how to propose, what married life is like, how to get a divorce -- all things I needed to know.
Thankfully, I have access to a wide collection of games and was able to complete my task easily. And now that I am an enlightened man, I’ve come to share my knowledge with you of lesser charisma. So sit down children, and let the gaming school of romance begin.