Google Proves Humanity Is Sick and Sad, Yet Absolutely Hilarious

Recently we found out that, according to Google's search, 303,000 people out there were "extremely terrified of Chinese people". We got deeper into Humanity's brain, and got a list of hilarious and scary findings:

Go to the US version of Google, and type what is in bold to find the following:

• 5,310,000 pages from people asking or answering: How to get pregnant.
• 69,400,000 people asking How to make money.
• 32,600,000: How to get over someone.
• 3,290,000: Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me.
• 841,000: I have a large cat in my pants.
• 3,300,000: I have a large uterus.
• 112,000: I have a lovely bunch of coconuts (lots of swallows surfing the web).
• 256,000,000: I want to die.
• 3,160,000: Why do I fart so much.
• 528,000: Why do indians smell.
• 63,500,000: Why do I sleep so much.
• 680,000: Why do I have green poop.
• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
• 7,570,000: Why do I have diarrhea.
• 4,170,000: Why do I have so much discharge.
• 7,120,000: Why do I have to pee so much.
• 230,000,000: Why do I have gas or so much gas.
• 456,000: Why do men have nipples.
• 6,000,000: Why men don't call.
• 8,380,000: Why men lie.

[ThanatosDMC]

HAHAHAH!!! Sex is for revenge??? Infect the person with an STD???

[LeGenDx]

THATS SICKKKKKKK

[Capt CHAOS]

Mental medical health advice.

[yoshiroaka]

i have a large cat in my pants...lol

[pixelsword]

If you've been a victim of cat-pantsing or know of someone who has a puss in their pants call 1-800-CAT-PANT and let the operator know so that he/she can laugh at you.

They're professionals, you know.

[Tempist]

Wow, justification as to why I can hate the rest of humanity. Thank-you Google for being that idiot filter / exposure machine.

[C_SoL]

....lol

[Lord Anubis]

is really sad that women want to get the men by getting impregnated to lasso men into marriage :(

Good thing Persephone is in Greek Mythology and not Egyptian :P

[gamer2005]

So in your opinion married couples don't need help getting pregnant? Only women looking to trap men?

[gano]

That many people want to die, and no friends....
This is a sad world...
I feel so blessed.

[solsub]

You don't know the half of it. It's better not to think of it.

[poeo]

well it's good that YOU feel blessed, even though you empathise with others' suffering... i just wonder why those others weren't blessed.

[Cartesian3D]

883,000,000: Why do I have no friends. !!!!

883 million ! omg.. google must be crying right now..

[Sheddi]

"Almost 800,000,000: Who do I vote for."
This one is scary...

[xabmol]

We know where McCain got his supporters. lmao

[ThatOneGuyThere]

Obama's supporters aren't even smart enough to use the internet.

;)

Keep politics off gaming sites.

[xabmol]

Good one xD

"Keep politics off gaming sites."

RON PAUL!

Sorry, I'm tryin... I'm tryin...

[xabmol]

Mucho largo gato en el pantalones.

...thats all the spanish I know. xD

• Almost 800,000,000: Who do I vote for.

o.0Wow... I hope they didn't just copy & past their vote.

• 12,400,000: I have three breasts.

Where do these women live?!

[pixelsword]

... where Arnold Schwarzenegger missed his chance.

"Get to tha choppa!"

We're in space, Arnie.

"Uh, get to tha space choppa!"

*facepalm*

[xabmol]

But I like it!

xD

[bbelly9320_]

Sigh.

[Sangria]

I don't know if we should interpret those numbers in that way.
I think the results give only the number of sites that use the most part of those words. It would be more logical to have 1 million sites talking about pregnancy, for example.
http://www.weplug.com/image...

[zig_zag_stories]

yes whatever you type in when you go to a search does not mean they are talking about what they say. It just means that they have the words you typed spread through out there website page.

[fatstarr]

lmfao the things ppl ask google

• 883,000,000: Why do I have no friends.
that's just too funny

42,300: Why Luke Skywalker is an idiot.
• 1,610,000: I would like to buy a hamburger.

286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party (at Jason's house, in Jason's pants).

[PeterGriffinSays]

F-F-FAIL...

[gumgum99]

*tries it on google*

lol, it actually works

[ThaTeflonDon]

For all you google nuts out there, these are incorrent numbers because they are not specific searches:

Example:

Search How to get pregnant (returns 16,600,000)
But if you search "How to get pregnant" with quotes (returns 995,000)

Over a 15 million difference ... get a life people!!

And that still doesn't count for how many different since are duplicating the same information ... *coughs* blogs!!

Tha Don

[xplosneer]

Plus, it's number of pages not number of people searching. :/

[Horny]

correct, you have to search in quotes for the exact phrase. Other than that it just gives you pages containing the words you typed.

[oldsnayke]

LMFAO. "I have a large cat in my pants".

[Last Snake]

LOL

[Johnny_Danger]

"Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me." are lyrics from the song Obsession by the band Animotion. Seriously l280s gizmodo.