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Reading the title made me laugh!
Sad part is it wasn't meant as a joke. This is what kotaku considers "game journalism"! wtf?!
Mario doesn't either *Brain explodes*
@brish "Video game dicks are hard" ! Seem like a joking-around article to me.
Won't be long before the modding community fix that problem.
There is no processing power able to render that thing.
This shall spark a revolution in dong physics! Certainly nothing is more important!
@b_one Hahah! you made my day! :D
He's a grower, not a show-er.
boy kotaku has turned into grade a gaming journalism... besides, he has a bath scene early on, you can see some sort of penis, not that I was looking.. so not only is this stupid, its wrong.
It's not the size of the boat, it's the 1080p, 60fps definition of it in the ocean.
Your username is perfect for this article, lol.
lol I know, right?
Newsflash to Kraptaku, 99% of all video game characters do not have genitals. Makes one wonder why gender is so important to some people doesn't it?
Maybe him not having a penis is important to them because they've taken the fact you can sword-fight the wrong way.
Dude, get over it. It's funny. And your comparison sucks balls because in most games there aren't balls to suck but in this one there should be (balls to suck). And Kotaku is called Kotaku. Don't be immature.
@gamey: It's not funny, and it's Kraptaku. When you publish 99.999999999999999% s*** articles, your name is officially changed to some variant of fecal matter. That's internet law. And unless this game actually has gratuitous hardcore sex scenes, then no there shouldn't be balls because you would never see them anyway. This game couldn't sell with hardcore sex scenes, so what you're seeing is softcore porn where you never see either the male's or the female's genitals anyway. If you think this is funny, I'd say you're the immature one.
i demand penis NOW! -kraptaku
@Dee_91, Yeah... I bet you do!* *(to be taken lightly)
Barbies don't really have Vaginas either....so whats the big deal ?
Because Barbies don't have full-frontal sex scenes. I hate to crap on your analogy but you missed the concept of "context". So...*crap*.
The game heroes just have such large cocks like us gamers that we all have to tuck it right?
Yall know what yall need?
Everybody knows Geralt can pole-vault with his junk! It's canon that his size is so incomprehensible that our brains just can't render it... Polygon totally just confirmed this is canon ;)
I knew the women were faking it all along. Story of my life
hhhhhhh you troll :D
This is the most awkward I have ever felt in a comment bubble
Geralt having no penis and that dumb useless no good for nothing horse makes me angry! No more Witcher 3 for me.
OMG The swimming?! I feel like I'm trying to summon a dolphin everytime I go underwater. Flip flopping around like i'm doing tricks for snacks.
Swimming in Witcher 3 is AWFUL I saw this smallish area of water, it looked odd so I went over to it and noticed I could swim directly down, two chests sit underneath me, it literally took me ten minutes to open one of them, there's hardly any room for movement and soon as you touch something Geralt swims all over the place in a retarded fashion, it was REALLY frustrating I got in the end but what a way to break the immersion, soon as I got out I went and slaughtered and load of drowners
@Hellsvacancy Doesn't help that the button to loot is the same button that is used to swim faster.
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinks the swimming is horrible also. Takes him to much room to perform basic moves underwater.
it's all about getting used to it, it's more like assassin's creed black flag swimming rather than GTA 5 swimming.
It took me 2 or 3 minutes to get used to swimming, but it didnt seem that difficult.
Dude. You have to use the dong as a rudder. It's there you just can't see it. Hit xxx on xbone. Prob same on PC.
Swimming is easy. Don't use the stick to dictate height. Press square to go down and circle to come up. Swimming is really easy, most people (myself included) aren't used to that.
So he's an angel then?
So he faked every orgasm?!
Your avatar pic and your comment work so incredibly well together.
He took an arrow to the dick.
He took a pitchfork to the gut xD
Kotaku FTW. *sigh*
I saw the title and said to myself "Well then... that must be a Kotaku article." Wasn't surprised to see the link... wasn't surprised at all.
What wondered me was that it got such a big interest here too lol
Well there doesn't seem to be any bathrooms either..
I never noticed it until you said something, but you're right I haven't encountered 1 bathroom, not even an outhouse perhaps the Witcher exists in a magical dimension where people don't need to use the bathroom or have genitals.
back then they crap in a bucket, there are no bathroom.
In crow's perch there's actually an outhouse, and if you try to open the door the guards outside make a comment about the length of time that the person has spent in there.
"An outhouse, also commonly known as a privy, earth closet, or in Australia as a dunny, is a small structure, separate from a main building, which covers a pit latrine or a dry toilet." -wikipedia There are lots of these in the witcher universe.
Doesn't seem to prevent him from satisfying the ladies.
acutally he has, but it doesnt look that big
no genitals = no sale
Poor SOB hes been outed!!
this is the kind of shit only kotaku would care about.
It's a joke article. Holy poop. Kotaku don't "care".
Imagine the uproar if he actually had one.
I like to picture it with long flowing hair, and singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd.
No problem, I get more than enough of my penis fix from the GTA series.
No worries someone will mod it in at some point, of that there is no doubt...
Penis DLC incoming
It'll be called the Free-Willy DLC, for $0.00
http://www.troll.me/images/... TIL just how much jokes and memes there are about Willy xD
transgender confirmed !
then he must have a really fast tonge,"kus the bitches loooove him".
I think a horse that doesn't swim is more strange:0