Gaming has been a hobby of mine for as long as I can remember. From being a kid in school, then a young adult, to a guy in his late 20's with his own home and a steady income to support his beloved hobby. But getting older means life is generally going to crap on you more. You'll have more problems to face and even though gaming can help us with our problem solving skills, there are some things that just can't be solved like that in Portal.
Back in the summer my relationship came to an end. Life had severely sucker-punched me in the gut and I was left reeling on the ropes. In times of hardship, I know people that just throw themselves into what they love to deal with things and spend some time away from everything. By all accounts this is what I should have been doing. I am, for the most part, very passionate about things. I find a book I thoroughly enjoyed reading and I must know everything the author has written. I find a great band and I need to know their other releases and what others band they are associated with and so on. But non of these things made me happy in my post break up phase. My days were spent passively watching crap on Netflix. My music became a repeat of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Cure and Jeff Buckley. My PS3 and 360 lay neglected gathering dust while my gaming rig became a glorified social network device. Life and the things I loved had simply stopped.
So July went into August and August slipped into September. Finally the summer heat was coming to an end and the change in weather offered some hope. On the horizon was the something we'd all been waiting for; Grand Theft Auto 5. You know what I'm talking about, you remember seeing that trailer in 2011 and Rockstar had been teasing us for nearly two years. But now the wait was almost over and I was prepared for it. It fell perfectly when I had a week off work. I stocked up on snacks and I prepared myself for a week of mindless fun in San Andreas. But things didn't go ahead like that. The game arrived. I installed it and I settled in to binge on it for a week. I played for a bit, thought it was pretty good and then put the controller down. What was wrong with me? I wasn't disappointed, the game was fine, I just couldn't enjoy it. What was going on? I looked at the stack of games I needed to play or wanted to replay. Ah Demon's Souls and Dark Souls, two of my favourite games of this generation. Maybe I'll start a new character, make some crazy hybrid class and experiment, that certainly would keep me occupied. But I didn't even put the disc in.
Returning to work, my two colleagues (both gamers) asked me my thoughts on GTA V and what I thought of the ending. Despite them both having work, they'd both completed the game and one was even on his second play-through whereas I was barely through my first and had barely touched the game in my week off work. I ask my friend what was going on and why these things didn't appeal to me anymore.
“It's just a sign of growing up” he told me.
No doubt that when you get older you can't do things like you did when you were a kid. I, for example, cannot play a game like I did when I was 15. Granted, I ploughed through The Last of Us in a day but can you blame me? But that's a rare moment. 15 year old me didn't have a job to hold down, bills to worry about or...a social life for that matter. He just had a PS2, a copy of God of War to batter through again and homework to neglect.
But saying it's a sign of growing up made me feel like a child again. Was this hobby I loved really just something I needed to grow out of? Was it time to sadly drag my arm across my shelf, pulling all my games off with it to have them fall into a bin bag to be disposed of? Most important question of all – was it because of my love for things like computer games and high fantasy novels that I was now alone and heartbroken?
Well, I can't answer that question. All I know is the fog did eventually clear. I found myself being sucked into, of all the games, Skyrim I picked up in the Steam sale. It was strange, realising you've just spent five hours in a game and how easily I fell back into it. And by reading this it's obvious my interest in the community came back and the reading of articles and the popcorn munching fun of fanboys arguing. And yes, I did eventually go back and complete GTA V.
I'm not even sure if there is anything beneficial about this blog. I just wanted to share with some fellow gamers a very strange time in my life where I was made to question things I loved doing. I think if I took anything away from the experience it was how I saw things in those months when my head was all over the place. My ex pushed hard at her career and basically became a workaholic and I saw people that saw gaming as something that children did. Which I found incredibly strange as gaming is as popular and accessible as its ever been. I thought most people would recognise that, like a well made film or a well written novel, games have the power to move us and affect us emotionally. Or hey, just offer a fine slice of cathartic entertainment. For awhile I questioned this as well. Did I need to stop simply working to fuel these things I love and work 16 hour days and have a career rule my life? Did I need to put gaming aside as a childish hobby and 'grow up'?
These questions I can safely answer – no. I love playing games. I love talking about games. I love the community and the stupid fanboys that argue over petty crap like graphics comparisons. I have missed this a lot and it's great to be back and if you yourself are going through a hard time, whatever it may be, this will always be here for you.
Silent Hill 2 remake will be exclusive to the PS5 until October 8, 2025, so don't expect an Xbox port or announcement it expires.
why does it feel like we are living in the early 00's again? Sony paying for either full exclusivity or timed was the thing back in the day... and its been 'remastered' for this generation.
The original SH2 was PS2-exclusive for only a few months. Remastered version is exclusive for over a year lol.
But both companies played the timed exclusives game for so long so it’s no surprise.
Sony is the king of paying for exclusives. Anytime Xbox does it Sony fans go berserk. But when the shoes on the other foot they flop like a fish out of water.
Two fold publishers look at the loss in sales due to exclusivity and given how little Xbox sells in general Sony's generally able to get a greenlight for this behaviour if they fund it.
Microsoft think buying punishers is acceptable but they dug a huge financial hole as a result
Nintendo is just Nintendo and don't care
Yeah it's not like Xbox paid for exclusivity for games like Ark 2, Stalker 2, Warhammer Darktide or anything like that right? Oh wait.....
Just because that's the announced end doesn't guarantee it will be coming to xbox at that point or ever to be honest.
And even if it does it'll be an inferior version without the haptics and the Tempest audio which I expect will be a huge part in setting the mood in a game like this.
Uncover the spending behind Xbox's Game Pass subscription. Discover how Microsoft invests a billion dollars annually in securing third-party games for the service.
Good.
Now that you´re releasing games and making big money from every gaming platform, you should double that amount and give us even more day one third party games!
You’re delusional beyond belief. Businesses wise it doesn’t make sense and sooner or later they’ll be raising prices again to cover that billion they’re blowing every year.
As someone else said earlier today, they are past the growth stage, it’s been stagnent for last 3 years, they are now in the money making stage, prepare to be goosed for as many dollars as possible for the least amount of content. It may not be bad now, (actually it is) but it will be soon (even worse) this year you got hellblade and starfirld and a load of other games that could be bought in bargain bins for about $5-30 and for that you pay them monthly
To add I honestly don’t know how you put up with the barrage of Xbox negativity (which is deserved). I put it down to:
A) you are being paid
B) you may have a problem thinking clearly
C) prefer rooting for the underdog, that’s a legit thing too. English people do it by default
Yeah Aussies also love an underdog as long as that underdog isn't Xbox as they were too of the game with the 360 then lost their minds
3 straight years of missing Gamepass targets. Some people are just blinded by their own idiocy. Will be interesting to see if COD does anything this fall
He is a troll. Designed to stoke people up on here. We know this.
It’s quite funny.
Are you insane? You want them to double the amount when the Xbox is already struggling and losing money 🤔
They'll do that, after creating 4 more higher-priced tiers and making the one that currently includes everything only contain games that have been on the market for 4 years.
"Gamepass Ultra to the MAX: Now only $299 per year!"
They are trying to get a return on abk and Bethesda they won't double day one we're lucky we are still getting them now that day one has been removed from base tiers
They want to make money not give it away
I like how they twist cannibalising game sales into "invests".
No lifetime sales with MS, they'll F-up gaming the same as streaming services have done to the movie industry and it's workforce.
Out of interest do you think those 3rd parties signing the deal are unhappy with the severence and have a gun to their head?
Bro probably has a PS+ sub and has library full of Epic launcher free games.
we know this, we have known this since last year.
this is not new or news.
"The Hamburg-based (Germany) indie games publisher Daedalic Entertainment and Rome-based (Italy) indie games developer ONE-O-ONE GAMES, are today super happy and excited to announce that their gripping narrative thriller "The Suicide of Rachel Foster", is now available for the PS5 via PSN." - Jonas Ek, TGG.
life throws curve balls.
fuck it. you will pull through with positive attitude and patience.
MrHoney_Badger on PS4
this always happen to people that play more games than they should.
I stopped gaming for a good number of years from age 27 to 32. Still had an interest, but I had relocated from New Zealand to the UK. Building up my social life plus the fact that I didn't want to get stuck down with to much stuff if I decided to go back.
Slowly started to get back into it with my laptop, starting Baldurs Gate again. Then built a new PC, got the PS3 when it came out. It helped that there was a flatmate who was into gaming as well.
I'm married now, 37 and established in the UK, got our own house. But there is nothing more I enjoy doing is sitting back with my feet up and a controller in my hand.
But now I can only fit in a few hours play otherwise the wife will feel I'm ignoring her. :-)
I have felt exactly like this before. I still game but not nearly as I used to thou. I think gaming is one of the best hobbies out there to have for sure.
It seemed like the problem you described comes from depression, anxiety and such.
You go through life and hard hits you hard just like every adult out there, not enjoying life like you used to before and not enjoying the things you liked before are sings of depression or anxiety.
Some people will tell you stupid shit like "you've outgrown videogames?" which is the equivalent of saying "you've outgrown watching tv and movies?". As if it's ok for them to do "their" shit but yours is not. That's BS.
What we always need in our lives is to have balance so we can actually enjoy the things we love to the fullest extent.
I've learned that as long as your Health, Family, Financials and Social Life are in order you can enjoy anything you want to do, but if those things are all over the place it's not gonna happen.
You can't really enjoy anything if your too stressed out, at those times, it's just time "reset". Time to focus on yourself and work things out to get your mojo back.
I don't game like I used to before but I'm way happier now, It's way better to game 2 hours in peace rather than 4-5 while stressed out.
We all go through stuff like this at some point, it's how you get back up from life's beatings that really makes you grow up and mature I think.
I am lucky enough that my wife lets me buy whatever i want for gaming. I am pacing myself and only use extra income ( lots of overtime lately )
got my launch ps4 , got a vita the year before , my pc is always upgraded. My wife likes a lot of different TV show and i have no interest and she understands that i would be gaming instead.
She has her own interest and things and i have mine. That is one of the many reason why i married her, she doesn't need me to keep her entertained and she is not expecting me too either.