Is too much realism in gaming a good or a bad thing?
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It depends on what the gamer likes. That is why there isn't just 1 game. There are a bunch of games for every gamer.
It doesn't matter to me if they look real or not.
Should be renamed: "Are gamers becoming too picky?"
How "real" a game is only matters in certain genres. Sims, for example, need to be as real as possible. They can never be too real.
Whether or not a game is "too real" or "not real enough," though, ultimately winds up being the impression of each individual.
Me? It's a case-by-case basis. I don't want realism in my fantasy RPGs, for example. Not too much, anyway. But I definitely want realism in my sim racers.
That's just me, though.
Quite a broad question there...