Toxicity, the Internet Gamer Community

I've recently become, and been made, aware of the impact the internet gaming community was having on my personal well-being. Long story short, I have many reasons in my life to be happy, yet my attitude is more negative than it ought to be. I've realized that was because I was part of a toxic community.

Now I want to say I hold no illusions. I will absolutely not pretend that the gaming community, in particular, is any worse than any other on the internet, because I'm certain it's not. Still, it could do with some improvement. People are just more likely to voice their complaints than their praise, and we also have a tendency to emphasize any negativity we read over the positivity. Those two facts will compound and suddenly, those outlier elements that make up a fraction of a percent of the community, on the internet, seem to be the majority.

That's not to say the community is irredeemable, either. I've been part of some great gamer communities on the internet that have enriched my life tremendously. Generally, the larger a community becomes, the harder it is to keep it positive. And it's true those great communities I've been part of weren't large. But size is relative. A forum for one game may be small compared to the whole gamer community, but the whole gamer community is infinitesimal compared to the whole internet community. Therefore I do not believe size is a valid justification for the toxicity of the larger community.

I won't ramble on because, no matter how convincing I am, no truth is as convincing as the one you reach yourself. Instead I hope I can give you just enough food for thought. Think about your attitude; weigh your negativity against your positivity. Ask yourself if you're as happy as you should be right now, and if there's any part of your life you could improve, outside the internet.

If you reach the conclusion that, maybe, the internet is affecting you negatively, then here are my recommendations:

- Limit your exposure. If you're visiting those sites for news, stick to the news. Resist the urge to scroll down to the comments section!

- Don't log in. If you're not automatically logged in and instantly able to reply, you won't be as tempted to do so, which will help reduce your urge to even read the comments.

- DO NOT reply. If you do read negative comments, flag, report, and move on. Those people, sadly, feed off of making people miserable. Don't feed them.

- Let the site know you won't tolerate such behavior. Unfortunately you can't, by yourself, do anything to stop all the trolls. But do everything you can to let the site know they need to beef up moderation.

- Contribute to smaller sites. If you must be a part of some gamer community, make it one on a smaller site, or forum. The best communities I've been part of have been, without exception, for game-specific forums.

I'm just leaving this here for posterity. Before this week I hadn't visited this site, let alone logged in, in over 3 years, and I don't plan on returning! I'm thankful I've been reminded why I left and, if you're as affected by this issue as I am, I hope for you that you will too.

Spend more time gaming! Less arguing about games with people who love to make you miserable.

[thorstein]

Awesome. Simply awesome that you have identified what was bothering you.

I have become immune to it (not that I don't get roped in from time to time) but not to the extent that it ruins my well being or that it ruins my enjoyment of gaming.

Sure, I can't possibly fathom why some people don't like my favorite games, but it reminds me of why opinions don't matter. If I listen to opinions I would have missed out on some remarkable games.

Also, the negativity, I have discovered, is really from a vocal minority. In reality, most people aren't that attuned to this community we all share.

And when some people make that community more toxic (by mass approving articles with little substance or obvious clickbait) it ruins it for everyone.

If you (or anyone) immerses yourself in this community then you certainly are going to be affected by it. Sad as it is. I try to report clickbait as often as possible. I have even blogged about how to be better at covering this industry.

But the truth is, you have to look at what these "journos" are really doing. It is akin to watching ESPN as your only source for information. Those are some people that talk about sports all day long but really say nothing at all.

Here is a vid of Mark Cuban basically laying it down on Skip Bayless. https://www.youtube.com/wat...

Understand that this is my exact take on critics of any kind. Steven A Smith is as much of a troll. But it is obvious in the comments section that ESPN employees have leaped to the commentators' defense.

I believe the same happens here. Some publications have their employees go onto N4G to attack people who disagree with them. And they are defending the place they work. It is inexcusable. They should write with integrity.

[Software_Lover]

This site helped me write a paper in one of my Sociology classes. Got an A!!!!!!!!!

I too believe that the community, or the small vocal portion that shows itself on the internet (this site), is the reason I can't or haven't enjoyed gaming as much as I did in the past. I'm sure other environmental variables go into play, but the community probably holds a very large chunk of that pie.

[ashen122]

@blain thank you for this user blog. i was begining to think i was the only one disappointed with gaming COMMENT sections, im glad to know im not the only one.

[caseh]

"Limit your exposure. If you're visiting those sites for news, stick to the news. Resist the urge to scroll down to the comments section!"

I personally love comments sections, some of the things people come out with are hilarious. For others it's Facebook, Twitter etc. For me it's comments sections. :D

[rainslacker]

Everything should be taken in moderation so I do agree with some of your recomendations.

However, you don't have to avoid the drama to stay happy, or keep from feeling depressed about it. I imagine you are a grown person, and anyone with a modicum of critical thinking skills, and a bit of self respect, should be able to not let random unknown people on the internet affect them to such a degree. Sometimes you'll see things that will piss you off, but even the stupidest people here who want to bring others down don't really do it to me because I prefer to take any arguments that are made into consideration to decide if my own opinion may be misjudged.

In other words...be happy with yourself and those you care about. Doing that will make it really hard for others to bring you down.

[mixelon]

"I'm just leaving this here for posterity. Before this week I hadn't visited this site, let alone logged in, in over 3 years, and I don't plan on returning! I'm thankful I've been reminded why I left and, if you're as affected by this issue as I am, I hope for you that you will too."

Yeah, its pretty easy to get worked up by the nonsense here.

It can feel pretty great when you come across a single good egg, but I agree on average being part of N4G is pretty damn negative. I've toyed with the idea of blocking it from my reading/posting schedule, but as someone with wildly different opinions to much of the posters here on multiple topics, there's an element of pride involved where you want to just dig your heels and not let them put you off - despite knowing the majority will never see things even remotely like how you do. (even though, this is a bubble and not at all representative of gamers in general, thankfully?)

I think generally it's self destructive though, it's pretty masochistic reading the comments, they're really predictable.

Problem I think is, mechanically I like how N4G works, it's just some of the people. Same applies to IGN and youtube and anywhere else I guess. Eew, people.

[Deadpool616]

Someone said that I "sucked" one time over the internet and it ruined my life. I lost my job. I got sick. I got kicked out my home. My dog bit me. My cat peed on me. I didn't have enough money to eat. I didn't have enough money to drink. I didn't have enough money to sleep. That's when I decided to stand up for myself. I went back to the internet and told that person who said that I "sucked" that they weren't going to put me down anymore. Ohhh no, no, no. You made a big mistake Mister "suck" man! That would be the last time anyone made fun of ME!

After that, I took a rest from the internet to live my life as a beaver. Because it was the only way I could give a dam about what anyone said or thought about me over the internet.

ᴰʳᵃᵐᵃᵗᶦᶻᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰ﹕ ᴹᵃʸ ᶰᵒᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ʰᵃᵖᵖᵉᶰᵉᵈ

[Amuro]

this used to affect me a lot like 5-8 years ago. Now I just enjoy the arguing because if everyone agrees with me where is the fun in that? The type of heated conversations I get into in the internet is something I can't get in real life. I have noticed that anonymity seem to encourage people to write their true feelings and opinions about things and I like that.

Hanging out in places like Gamespot's System War forum and N4G for so many years has helped me to grow a really thick skin. The only thing that still irritates me is the social justice warrior mentality. Gamers and even fanboys try to argue their points of view but SJW don't. Your opinion doesn't aligns with theirs and they instantly label you a harasser, myopic rape apologist, human scum, a sh*tlord, etc. And this is a mentality that seem to be growing a lot within the gaming community and that is scary. Even worse than the worst fanboys.

Although, if you're of the weak minded kind because feelings, the echo chamber known as NeoGaf could be the perfect place for you. Everyone with different opinions get banned, so if you survive the first week then you're in the right place.

[Christopher]

***- Let the site know you won't tolerate such behavior. Unfortunately you can't, by yourself, do anything to stop all the trolls. But do everything you can to let the site know they need to beef up moderation. ***

In most cases, there is a soft cap on how helpful moderation is. The fact of the matter is that moderators are volunteers, they have real lives, and having more than necessary will lead to more mistakes and issues as communication between them lessens as more are involved.

The fact of the matter is that there are thousands, if not tens of thousands, of comments each day. And moderators rule based on our Terms of Use, not on what people think is trolling or isn't. And opinions will always vary on that, especially if it becomes personal. We hear every day from people who think others should be banned from the site for one comment or another, when in reality it's a perfectly fine comment and they are just taking it personally.

While I agree you should do your best to make your opinion known to the site and its moderators, that doesn't mean that what you consider an offense is actually one nor does it mean that they should get more moderators involved.

[Blacklash93]

Toxicity is inevitable in a medium where everyone has access to everything, and can say anything they want unfiltered without consequence or substantial social context. I try to ignore all the drama queens and trolls, because that's really all you can do.

[Ethereal]

I agree completely. For those of us that feel that gaming goes a bit beyond a hobby and have a passion for gaming get a bit overwhelmed by the consistent negativity and therefore diminishes the enjoyment that it can have as I thrive to discuss and appreciate the worlds we get to explore. I have limited my exposure quite a bit over the last few years...

[GodGinrai]

"Ask yourself if you're as happy as you should be right now, and if there's any part of your life you could improve, outside the internet."

I had an epiphany the other day, while involved in a bout of mudslinging. Gaming websites ..and the communities they foster...are trash. Ill be honest and say, I dont actually enjoy it. But sometimes the idiocy on here, will wind you up to the point of responding. I signed out...got down to some work..and then decided that sometime next month, I will sign out for good.

The older I get, the dumber people come across, to me, on N4G.And the more I have to question, why I am even conversing/responding. Meaningful discussion, simply does not happen on gaming websites. So I HAVE to cash out. I enjoy games...but mostly hate gamers. I dont even want to go into a PS thread on here and marvel at the likes of bloodborn, because I know that I will be actually agreeing with the same jerk circle I lambasted in a prior thread. shame really... I even stopped supporting #GamerGate, because I have to question, what type of people I am defending, once that noise dies down.

Im am 30, next year. I have a 4 bedroom house, A BMW M3 and Im at the start of a fantastic career in music production. I doubt I have many peers on this website ( people in a similar situation), so it further hits home, that I am above beyond all of this.And I need to start acting like it. None of it affects me in real life...So why continue to argue with the same, nut jobs? Pointless

Thank you for writing this post, Blaine. You are saying what a few of us are thinking. and you have done what some of us need to do..which is leave N4G, behind. Whatever you do, wherever you are, I hope all is well. And good riddance, N4G. Im ready to get out of the cesspool and take a shower.

[Deadpool616]

If you're leaving...then why don't you just leave? We don't need to know your life story and your BMW MP3 bedroom blah blah blah. If you don't like Gamers then get to steppin'.

I'm here for Gamers because there's a good community of people here. A giving community that no matter how much they banter, they're willing to look out for one another when the chips are down. We're not blind to Bull$#it and we will call it out if we see it. Not many other communities are willing to even speak up, but Gamers are. Sure Gamers may be compulsive, stubborn, and A-Holes at times. Even so, Gamers put up or shut up and settle their differences through gaming. Which is AWESOME! You may be blind to it while you're tooting your tunes in music production, but I'm not. Gamers are here to stay and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Unless they nuked us all...WHICH I highly doubt anyone would go that far simply because they lost at Smash Brothers or some other game. Heads will clash, rivalries will start, but at the end of the day it's just a game. Why so serious?

'Nuff said.

[e-p-ayeaH]

Youre taking the internet way too seriously lmao

[SpiralTear]

In honesty, I've seen less toxicity in gaming comment sections than those in...say...Facebook comments about major news events. I know that's hard to believe and it might be isolated to my own range of discussion, but I do not see why gaming comment sections are the top shelf of toxicity to so many people.

For example, look at political blogs. Regardless of your political leaning, you will NOT find a political blog that doesn't have at least one bigot on it. Same with stuff from sites like Buzzfeed or even the blogs of comedians. I see waaaay more hate from those places than people saying whether PS4 or Xbox One is better.

The gaming sphere could use some cleaning up, we all understand that perfectly, but by treating gaming comment sections like the almighty cesspool of internet scum, you're doing a disservice to both the gaming community and to those that have a much larger and more dangerous problem on their hands.

So many people have said this and it bears repeating again: this isn't a gaming problem. It's an internet problem.