"I'm not much of a fan of the Mario series, except for maybe Super Mario 64 [Editors Note: Chu Boi's mistaken opinions about Mario in no way reflect the opinions of PushingPlay], but I have to admit: this shirt is the bee's knees. It's more action-packed than if Solid Snake, Dante, Steven Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Roadhouse Partrick Swayze all got in a bar fight. Ok, wait, I take that back. Nothing is as intense as that.
Koopa Paratroopas are trying to hate on Mario's parade but he serves them with a fireball facial. Yoshi's all hopped-up on whatever got those raptors mad in Jurassic Park and is totally beasting on Goombas. Luigi's knocking the stuffing out of Petey Piranha like he owes him money. Dude, just buy it already."