RGM’s Guide to New Year’s Gaming Resolutions

Michael Crisman writes: "As 2016 squeaks out of the auditorium dodging the deluge of rotten vegetables we’ve been pitching at it for being a world-class dick, it’s time to turn our attention to the new year. Surprise, wankers: it’s two thousand and seventeen as measured by our completely arbitrary choice for marking the passage of time! That means three hundred and sixty-five days to start hunting new achievements, becoming better people, and apologizing for all the nonsense we got up to last year. Changing ourselves is hard, which is why Carl pays me to produce content and not lay on the office floor practicing The Worm like I’m the second coming of Scotty 2 Hotty. If you’re in need of inspiration for how to make 2017 as awesome as possible, I’ve assembled five humble, ‘nobody-will-press-charges-thi s-time’ retro-themed suggestions guaranteed to give the coming year a power up."