The Dumbest Game Names Square Enix Ever Inflicted on Us

Wired: Today is the North American release date for Bravely Default, a fine role-playing game with a terrible title. What does it even mean? How is someone supposed to remember it to ask for it by name at a store? This is simply the modus operandi of Square Enix, a Japanese software publisher that used to give its software elegant English monikers like Final Fantasy or Dragon Quest and now just strings a bunch of English words together with no thought for how they will sound to native speakers.

Bravely Default is pretty bad, but it’s not the worst. In celebration of the release of this (again, really good) game, we present the 7 dumbest Square Enix game names so far, in ascending order of stupid

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SteamPowered1714d ago

Those are all pretty terrible names. But damned if they dont grow on you. We must miss quite a bit during translation.

KonsoruMasuta1714d ago (Edited 1714d ago )

Wait? How was Final Fantasy X-2 a bad name?

MoveTheGlow1714d ago

You have to click on the fullscreen button to get their reasoning. For X-2:

"What's the name of the sequel to Final Fantasy X? Final Fantasy XI? Ha ha, that's just what a simpleton like you would say! No, the sequel to Final Fantasy X is of course Final Fantasy X-2. This of course introduces confusion: Is the character X a Roman numeral 10, or is it an ex? This is not nearly as difficult a conundrum as what awaits, though."

This was the first time they did that, but I think they proved with later numbered sequels that it's a fine naming convention.

Actually, I think that's the only good thing XIII ever did for RPG's. Solidified sequel naming conventions. Congrats, XIII.

Tsuru1714d ago

X-2 is correct. its not confusing. This is what the hyphen is for. Final Fantasy 10-2. 10 is X thus X-2. How is this dumb or confusing? Its exactly as it should be.

MoveTheGlow1714d ago

Hey, at least they had the brains to remove "Flying Fairy" as a subtitle - for a while, we thought we were getting "Bravely Default: Flying Fairy," which to me is kinda like saying "The Last of Us: Ladders," or "Bioshock Infinite: Anachronistic Songs."

NarooN1714d ago

Call of Duty: Gunfighting Men

Detoxx1714d ago

Mirrors Edge: Running & Jumping

Tewi-Inaba1713d ago

Diablo III:A Terrible Game

Ilovetheps41714d ago

That was a terrible list in my opinion. I can't even believe they said Bravely Default is a dumb name. If they have played the game, they know the meaning behind the name. It's rather clever when you play the game. Birth By Sleep is a good name as well as 358/2 Days. I'm also not sure what's wrong with Final Fantasy X-2's name. It's a sequel to 10 hence X-2. I just don't understand most of this list.

MoveTheGlow1714d ago

Their argument has more to do with the initial enticement of an audience, not what it means later on - and in that way, I think it works.

They had said "Bravely Default sounds like something a person might say as they are having a stroke." I'd rather argue "Bravely Default sounds like a bad option someone has when they pass their student loan grace period," but whatever, Wired.

Nerdmaster1714d ago (Edited 1714d ago )

Dude, I love(d) Square, but we must admit that the names they create are terrible. Even if they do "make sense" for the game, it doesn't make them less bad. I love Theatrhythm, but even I admit that this is an unpronounceable and terrible name. And even if you love Kingdom Hearts, you have to admit that 358/2 Days is also a terrible name.

And even though I loved Bravely Default's demo and I'll buy it today when I get home from work, I didn't care about this game at all because of its stupid name. I only decided to try the demo and whatnot after I discovered that it's a 4 Heroes of Light "sequel" without the Final Fantasy name.

Kashell1714d ago this a joke? FFX-2? IU? Kingdom Hearts: BBS?

And, fun fact, Bravely Default actually makes sense for the title. You can chose to Brave or Default in battle. So, yeah.

Irishguy951714d ago (Edited 1714d ago )

But can you choose to bravely default??

What does that even mean? Something is defaulted in a brave way?

Infamous -> Electric zapper
Halo -> Shoot jump
Gran turismo -> Drive Drive
Final Fantasy -> Active time battle

Names should be named from well, what is a good name that suits the game? Not elements of the combat system

MoveTheGlow1714d ago

It is kinda like *actually* calling Megaman "Jump n' Shootman" instead of Sequelitis doing it as a joke, but I'm still fine with the title.

Hicken1714d ago (Edited 1714d ago )


In any case, I rarely have problems with titles. Now, if they've got NOTHING to do with the game, I have a problem, but I can't think of any that come across like that right now. This list isn't that, at all, in my opinion.

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