Reject Review – Dead Island: Riptide | Veni, Vidi, Velcro

"Dead Island was a glitch-ridden shitload of fun and Riptide could have advanced that loveable formula. But it added the one thing that undid everything: Water. It added water."

Reject Reviews rips apart games from the bottom of the bargain-barrel. This week, Jack Bromley presents Dead Island: Riptide.

"A trivial addition, it may first seem. A harmless new terrain packed with pockets of splash-happy fun with your friends. There’s boats, too, for zipping around the swamplands and flattening the undead.

Then sometimes there aren’t boats. Sometimes you have to walk through the bits of water that are big and need boats. That’s when you realise it’s not water, but some kind of thick green syrup masquerading as good ol’ H2O. That’s when you realise the zombies have developed some kind of syrup-wading folds on their legs to propel them through the ‘water’. ‘Water’ which imbues them with the power to spin their arms like a child imitating a helicopter, if that child had the streng…