The Top 7… impractical characters

What do Solid Snake, Lara Croft and Samus Aran all have in common? They dress for success. Their own costume, be it custom-built spacesuit or bottomless backpack, is directly related to their adventuresome profession. No matter the situation, these heroes are loaded with gadgets, training and expertise that’ll see them through to the end.

But not all game characters are created equal. A great many appear to have no practical application other than "the boss says this guy stays in the game." Maybe they’re woefully too large for the job at hand. Or perhaps they wore the most ridiculous outfit when a simple utility belt would have sufficed. Whatever the case, they’re completely impractical and would never, ever exist in any vaguely real-world scenario.

So, in all of video games’ history, who makes the least damn sense? Let’s see…