Escort missions suck. But there's a simple way to take this dependably awful part of a game and turn it into the best, most memorable moment.
The only escort missions I like are from Dead Rising. No wait, I meant the most I hate.
Dead Rising didn't have any escort missions that you couldn't fix with a katana and the right magazines.
Ha, that caption for the Little Sister is hilarious. I wonder why he didn't mention Resident Evil 4. I think a lot of people hated that escort mission, yet I think it kinda fulfills his checklist. Maybe.
I liked the escort bits in RE4, and I'd say they do meet his criteria. It made things a lot easier when you could stuff the girl in the garbage when things got hairy... Actually, to be more clear: I liked the escort bits. Then I played RE4 on hard. Then I did not like the escort bits.
The worst escort bits are these in Brink when you play in SP, jeez, the AI is so stupid.
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