OXM UK: "Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. It is our greatest pleasure to present the reinvented, ground-breaking cast of Soul Calibur 5. Give a big hand to... Siegfried! Now with volumised hair and mood-enhancing facial scar! Ivy! Now 10% saggier, 41% more respectably dressed and thus 32% less likely to be burned in effigy by fundamentalist mobs! Pyrra, Sophitia's daughter! A lot like Sophitia, only not quite so bloody self-righteous! Natsu! Basically Taki with a splash of Rikku from Final Fantasy X! Patroklos, Sophitia's son! Secretly Lizardman disguised as late '90s Haley Joe Osment! Zwei ! "The original one"! Welcome back to the stage of history... where, it seems, remarkably little has changed."