Why "gay gamers" are still sadly a necessity

The story of Mass Effect 3 introducing the possibility of same sex relations has helped remind me why the world of video games is often so pathetic and criminally behind the times. And that’s because this story is actually news. But then I realise just why it is news, and this then alerts me as to why the term “gay gamer” exists. And why it probably should. And that’s because merely going online to have some fun in a game of Modern Warfare 2 or Halo [insert number or name here] results in you unwittingly enjoying a bombardment of words like “faggot”… and, well, “stupid faggot”.

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dingledodie772797d ago

I'd have to agree. It's sad but too true.

It's sort of akin to how the term "Girl Gamer" needs to exist, even though it shouldn't. Girl plays a game better than a guy, and gets bombarded with "go make a sandwich" equivalents or even enters a match and gets wolf-whistled.

Clance2797d ago

I think too often though "girl gamers" do it for the wrong reasons. But, yes, I can see two sides to that coin, for sure.

Sexism is rife in gaming. Terrible really.

hotgamergirl2797d ago

I don't usually comment much, but when it's a topic like this I like to share my opinion.

As a "girl gamer", you do get treated different by the random people you play with. Your skills are always in question, and it kills me when people do this. It a video game, not a weight lifting competition, yes I can be just as good as anyone other there, and more often then not I'm the best person on my team anyway. As a female gamer you always have something to prove, and it's sad.

Then you get the annoying kids/ignorant men who ask what you look like, where you live, only to say you must be ugly since you're a girl gamer. I pay $60 a year for XBL so that I can enjoy gaming online, not to be harassed. I can't say it's just on XBL, but 90% of the time it is vs. PSN (my guess is because PSN users don't generally use mics for some reason when all you need is any blu tooth).


"I think too often though "girl gamers" do it for the wrong reasons. But, yes, I can see two sides to that coin, for sure."

As a girl gamer you don't do yourself an injustice by stating that you're a girl. Once you say something people ask are you a girl right away.

As a guy you don't have to worry about running into these problems, but I've literally had people spamming my inbox harassing me just because I'm a girl. Racism comes into play too, and I shocks me when it's coming from someone who I would think is an adult, and I'm sure it's the same with gay gamers.

I've been fortunate to find mature friends, so I don't have to play with random people, but it shouldn't have to be that way.

VINNIEPAZ2797d ago (Edited 2797d ago )

I hear this from my girlfriend all the time. Although I don't wanna see 2 guys getting it on in my game, I can understand why some women might. Its not like its really forced in these games anyway.


Dont a lot of guys like seeing 2 girls go at it? Why is THAT NOT so strange to you, now maybe you can see the double standard.

Biggest2797d ago (Edited 2797d ago )

You have a strange girlfriend. Any woman that wants to see two men doing what two men do to each other is just. . . What the hell?

The term "gay gamer" is stupid. The term "girl gamer" is stupid. No one needs such terms or titles. You are what you are. Starting a conversation with your title is pointless. Morons will be morons regardless. They don't care that you are a "gay gamer" or "girl gamer". No one should have to explain their preferences or sexual status to enjoy a game. You will be called a n****r f****t either way. Use the mute button, or cryogenically freeze yourself for 500 years. The world may be more tolerant by then.

Edit: How is it different? Find women that enjoy watching two men having sex. There are not many of them. It is strange to find a woman that enjoys watching two men have sex. It is different. Why would you take what I said and turn it into a "Don't be ignorant" moment. Can't you see my other comments on the situation? I said she is strange because she is. I don't care about the act itself. It is also strange to find a woman that plays professional BASEball. Don't take my comment out of context, please.

ChickeyCantor2797d ago (Edited 2797d ago )

"You have a strange girlfriend. Any woman that wants to see two men doing what two men do to each other is just. . . What the hell? "

How is that any different from a guy wanting to see 2 girls do stuff to each other.

Don't be ignorant.

Mass effect has always been about CHOICE.
YOU select the path you want to follow.
People like you are outrageously sad.

"It's like Bioware doesnt want my patronage anymore so I will happily oblige."
You're not special, and thats why, if it would be true, they are trying to be more open minded towards more PEOPLE.
The world doesn't evolve around you.

evrfighter12797d ago

If bioware wants to make gay rpgs that all fine and dandy. Doesnt mean ill buy em with devs like cd projekt and bethesda around.

It's like Bioware doesnt want my patronage anymore so I will happily oblige.

GameZenith2797d ago

Not to sound rude or anything, but a lot of the times, women (even if they don't admit it) sort of like the attention and being singled out from the male gamers. Of course, there is a group of women who HATE being labeled as a girl gamer or something to that nature, but a lot of women like the "unique" aura that comes with being a female gamer.

They may not literally say it themselves, but it is their actions that speaks for them. Instead of doing like the guys and creating screen names on PSN/XBL like "DeathfromAbove" or something stupid like that, they'll create names that draws attention to their sex like "SexyAngelGal213" or "PrincessPWN" or even "LadyFragALOT" or something weird like that. In other words, they want it to be known that they are female.

So from a subtle notion, they like to be singled out as "female gamers" but they'll never obviously say it.

hotgamergirl2797d ago

That's completely false. First of all people make their gamer tags for personal reasons or simply because the name appeals to them.

And secondly it doesn't matter what their name is, because once you speak the first question you get is "Are you a girl?" So what's the point in hiding it?

Darrius Cole2797d ago

Oh course girl gamers want you to know that they are girl. I want people to know that I am a guy. That is just a basic part of the way people think. Women think of feminine name because they can't help it, not that it should be helped, their brain just works that way.

Also they wan't you to know that they are female but they don't want to be abused because of it.

On the flip side, when "hotgamegirl" or (some other girl) goes into a Halo, COD, or Battlefield game and owns a guy, she took power from him; so he feels threatened and has to get it back; hence the long line of insults. Hey, these are adolescents who satisfy their masculine desire to kill and win by playing video games, what did you expect?

I find that lots of women are not aware of the difference in playing a game for fun and playing a game for sport. Lots of men/boys play video games for sport. Very few women play games for sport.

hotgamergirl2797d ago

@Darrius Cole

"Lots of men/boys play video games for sport. Very few women play games for sport."

That is so true. Most of the people I play with play just to have fun. If we win great, if not we still had fun.

But so many people online act like if they lose in the game, they're going to die in real life. I can't stand playing with those kind of people. I play the game to have fun, not to demolish the other team and try to make them quit. You can't play a game if the other team quits all the time.

GameZenith2797d ago


I respect your opinion but I have my opinion and I'm standing by it. I still believe that a lot of women love the uniqueness and the idea that they are women gamers in what is seen as a male dominated industry.

I believe a lot of women take advantage of the stereotypes that comes with gaming.

1 - The idea that many men who play videogames religiously are men who are socially awkward around women or either just do not see a lot of women playing videogames. Women might not believe this stereotype, but that doesn't mean they aren't aware of it. So when some female creates a screen name like "sexykillerNheels" or "male_slayer2134" they are playing into that stereotype the same way some of us black men make screen names like "chocolate_snake" or something dumb like that.

2 - Then there is the obvious stereotype that women don't play games (despite the stats) so whenever a female is in a gaming community such as XBL, PSN, or a internet forum, they (not all) have this instinct nature to purposely let it be known that they're female so when they create their identities, they create names that have to point to the fact that they are a girl.

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reznik_zerosum2797d ago

ah the "wolf-whistled" it makes worm around my hearth...and "faggot”… and, well, “stupid faggot" is just classic..

dingledodie772797d ago


"Any woman that wants to see two men doing what two men do to each other is just. . . What the hell?"

So your saying anyone who enjoys watching homosexual members of the opposite sex do it are "strange", and women who fall into this are bcause there are few of them? It's not being taken out of context, it's just pointing out bigotry.

2797d ago
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StitchJones2797d ago

gross, plain and simple. I don't care about it in real life, but I don't want the option in games.

Anderson82797d ago

the good thing about an option is you dont have to choose it.. so why would it bother you

midgard2272797d ago

i guess if a gay guy wants to be gay in a game too then thats him, but me personally, HELL no, I never wanna see it nor want to see a hint of it.

but I guess it makes sense to have a gay option if your playing a roleplaying game, I just know one thing for sure, if masseffect was a movie there is NO way shepard would be gay

Clance2797d ago

Why wouldn't he be gay?

Biggest2797d ago (Edited 2797d ago )

The majority of people watching action/sci-fi movies are homophobes. That type of movie with strong homosexual content would bomb before it made it to theater.

Edit: You can take the Fast/Furious movies for example. Vin Diesel was MIA after the gay rumors popped up. Many years after mere rumors were calmed down they made another. I don't even think he ever said he was gay, but since so many people believed he said it, the action movie career was put on hold.

hazelamy2797d ago

personally i'd like to see a movie starring a female shepard romancing liara.

you don't want to see a gay shepard, at least not a male one right?
then don't play a gay shepard, problem solved.

why do so many people complain about a gay romance option by claiming they don't want to be forced to play a gay character.

when you hardly ever are, funny how it's ok to be forced to play a straight white male character though.

anyway, why wouldn't shepard be gay, or at least bi?
in the mass effect person there are people having interspecies sex, having sex with somebody of the same gender would not really be a big issue any more.
i'd imagine it would be viewed the same way sex outside marriage is viewed now.
in other words it's perfectly normal.

Darrius Cole2797d ago


The people that you can have sex with in Mass Effect, though they may be alien, still look human enough to register as "man" or "woman" in the human brain. They really aren't different species as much as they are alien races. As long as the parts are compatible, then having sex with such an alien person would not be any different from having sex with an "earth human".

In such a scenario, I don't think that gay sex would be viewed as any more or less normal than it is viewed now.

hazelamy2797d ago

i meant to say in the mass effect universe, i have no idea why i typed person there.

my point was, for a movie, the universe the movie is set in would feature people having sex with aliens, though probably offscreen.
next to that most people would drop same sex relationships down a notch or two on their pious indignation meter.

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dingledodie772797d ago

Don't use the option then. It is a game, and not real life after all.

vickers5002797d ago


Just by taking a quick glance at your comment history, I can tell that you are a child (or extremely immature and stupid). Kid, cursing does not make you cool, and hating homosexuals does not make you any more straight or manly. It simply makes you an idiot.

You have a lot to learn in life kid. Perhaps you should start on not being an immature, hateful, homophobic little brat.

ChickeyCantor2797d ago

"HELL no, I never wanna see it nor want to see a hint of it. "

I love how people make it personal and pretend its affecting their lives.


tplarkin72797d ago

Gross is the right word.

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trainsinrdr2797d ago

haha can u have gay sex in mass affect or something?

nemesisND1derboy2797d ago

Nice piece dude, and I do agree.

Unfortunately, I can't see homophobia and sexism dropped from gaming culture anytime soon, which is a pity. It's one of the very reasons why gaming isn't considered to be a mature hobby by the mainstream media, which is a stereotype in itself.

I just hope that in the future the gaming population will mature and we can leave these terms behind us.

Clance2797d ago

Thanks for that :) gaming certainly gets what it deserves from mass media usually. Sad but true.

Danniel12797d ago

To be fair homophobia and sexism will dropped from gaming culture around about the same time its dropped in the rest of our society.

Tikicobra2797d ago

Look, I just don't want my Dragon Age character to end up in bed with a dude because I was trying to make friends with him.

Clance2797d ago

LOL! I don't know how that game works... but I'm sure you can say "no!"

LightofDarkness2797d ago

They tend to drop not-so-subtle hints that you're heading in that direction. It won't happen without YOU consciously allowing it to. Point=moot.

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