A Day at Grandma's House, One More Metal than You Can Imagine.(Gaming Irresponsibly)

Tom Is Hanks thinks it’s crucial to begin this article by informing you that, as a grown man, he finds himself obligated to play games created for toddlers.

See, men these days are built for speed, not functionality. These “Halo Guy” games with all their buttons and the beeping lights on the controllers with the beep and the bop and the bang bang bang just don’t entice the modern perfect man. He needs a game with minimalistic controls and bright colors cock slapping me in the eyes. He needs a game that allows him to drool on the controller in a drunken, slack-jawed stupor and get awarded with a high score.

Welcome to another self destruction...

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