If Gearbox is to be believed, Duke Nukem Forever is going to actually come out in about six weeks on May 3. There is just no way that’s going to happen, though, because the universe is not going to allow it, and it will go to lengths that are as extreme as is necessary, perhps going so far that people don’t even realize what’s happening is because of DNF. There are an infinite number of ways in which God can stop the game’s release, but here are the ones we have decided are most likely.
Edit: HOLY S–T. It has already begun. Since we published this list, the game was f–king delayed again!