Destructoid: Stop Releasing New F*king Handhelds

Jim Sterling writes: My fellow Americans, we find ourselves under attack. Not from terrorists. Not from communists. Not even from flesh eating viruses that turn our lungs into a lumpy red paste. We face a fresh onslaught, on an incalculable and pandemic scale. There seems to be no stemming the tide, and all we can do is make our peace before drowning in the mire as the floodgates burst open.

I am of course talking about the ridiculous amount of handheld game systems that have done a wonderful job of dividing the market and ruining everything for everybody.

With this week's announcement of the 3DS, the scales have come close to collapsing under the sheer weight of new handhelds that keep spilling onto the market. It's reached the point of self parody, where companies are announcing new systems before the last one has even hit store shelves. It never used to be this way, and now it seems to be getting worse and worse.

It has to stop. Read on as I ramble incoherently about the ridiculous situation.

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Cajun Chicken3131d ago

I have to agree with this one from Jim Sterling.

Darkstorn3131d ago

Jim may be a hit whore, but he makes a valid point.

Bereaver3131d ago (Edited 3131d ago )

If you don't want handhelds, then don't buy them. They will lose money, and eventually become a thing of the past.

If they want to release handhelds, you can't stop them. You can only nag and complain.

I'm actually very excited for a new handheld, because I don't have a PSP or an NDS. (my ex wife took my psp3000 lol).

Anyway, in my books, destructoid is a failure. Sorry all of their fans.

Mo0eY3131d ago

Apple, stop releasing new iPods/iPhones.
Sony, stop releasing laptops/televisions.
Burger King, stop releasing new burgers.

Jim Sterling's a moron - nuff said.

ThdeGreatestOne3131d ago

I want to get the 3DS but I'm afraid that Nintendo might release a newer and improved iteration of it a year after D=

midgard2273131d ago

difference is that nintendo releases one every year, and they all sell seperate at different price points, a month after i got a ds lite the dsi came out, then 3 months later the dsixl came out in japan and now as its bout to release in america the 3ds is coming out......sorta annoying dont u think?

im not a fan of the pspgo but i have a 2000 series and the 3000 is just an upgraded replacement. nintendo has a habit of making gba, gba sp, gba micro, gba infinity etc etc every year when the life cycle is almost done they go crazy. so annoying

Genesis53131d ago

Wow! This is a shocker. I actually agree with Jim Sterling.

Mo0eY3131d ago

Guess I'll have to justify my comment since I'm a "moron."

Apple creates a MP3 Player known as the iPod - its fundamental purpose is a music player. Just because it plays music does not mean that a company should stop innovating and pushing their products. Four years later, the Apple iPod Video is introduced. Between those increments were just added on technology that enhanced the device. Same can be said with Burger King - they started out with just a slap of meat and cheese. Then they came with the whopper. Now we have the Burger King menu thanks to just one burger - every now and then they come out with something new which is a slight variation of the Whopper.

Granted, the NDSi is crap in my opinion, they are a business trying to push technology further in the handheld department. I'm sure if 3D wasn't so popular, the 3DS wouldn't exist today. Furthermore, it's technology. It's going to advance and that's the price you pay when you buy a handheld. Consoles are more concrete in that they have a set foundation of 3-5 years (apparently this is no longer the standard) before getting a whole new console.

ReservoirDog3163131d ago

Well, a broken clock's right every once in awhile.

And yeah, this is kinda true. I'm still happy with my PSP 2000 though. Still haven't gotten a DS. I know, I'm like the only person.

But as long as it's not a necessary update (ie PSP2), I doubt I'll buy it.

MisterNiwa3131d ago


The Great Melon3131d ago

I have never found a reason to upgrade past the original Gameboy Advance, DS, or fat PSP. All the things he listed to me were simple revisions that make a better product. You don't need them to play the games, but a new buyer would much rather have the better screen for example.

ThanatosDMC3130d ago

Basically... let's not have technology move forward. Idiocy.

pimpmaster3130d ago

blame consumers for buying stupid ass bs like the psp go and dsi.

tmt3453130d ago (Edited 3130d ago )

i really want a handheld but i want newer hardware and better graphics, i don't want to get the psp cause for handhelds i like games like mario and so on.

i am VERY excited for the 3ds and i hope it will have gamecube graphics which still look great to this day.

PopEmUp3130d ago

If the market demand it, obviously there gonna be more handheld, but if there no one want it there will be less handheld simple

+ Show (11) more repliesLast reply 3130d ago
CLOUD19833131d ago

Actually I dont thing hes right, technology moves much faster than first gameboy days, I believe that 2 years is a good time for a new upgraded version of an existed handheld or a complete new handheld but not sooner each year is not good.

Foxgod3131d ago

Plz dont, just keep progressing.
Ignore the people that want to stand still.

Erotic Sheep3131d ago

You bought a Blu-Ray player? O.o

Noctis Aftermath3131d ago (Edited 3131d ago )

Oh snap foxgod is saying something that i agree with?

OT: jim sterling is an idiot, both gaming handhelds are over 5 years old now, if you didn't expect an announcement this year then you are an idiot too.
Also when a new handheld releases that doesn't mean the old handhelds are dropped so i don't know why some people are freaking out, if you just bought a psp or ds you knew what you were buying and you got what you payed for, the system will still get updates and new games will still be released so take out that bottle of pills and swallow a few and settle the f**k down.

Quadrix3131d ago

Stopped reading at "Jim Sterling".

schlanz3131d ago

seriously, the guy is a hack.

You are no gamer if you aren't even at least a little excited for the 3DS. The DS has been on the market for awhile, get over it.

catch3131d ago

I very much want a new generation of handhelds from both Sony and Nintendo and think upgrades every year and a half or so would be ideal.

kagon013131d ago

I despise the over abuse of handhelds rehashes from both Nintendo & Sony...(I would also include MAC)

PSP 1001
PSP 2001
PSP 3001

NDS Lite

GBA Micro


midgard2273131d ago

difference with psp 1000-2000-3000 is that they are same price and are improvements so thats not bad, but the they wont stop.

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