6 reasons why Uncharted 2 will ruin sex for you

CN: "In lieu of handing out Game of the Year awards like everyone else (big hint --we would've chosen Uncharted 2), we decided to focus on what exactly makes Uncharted 2 so radically badass. However, rather than wasting time describing what sets Uncharted 2 apart from all the other games of 2009, we decided to stack up Naughty Dog's latest masterpiece against something the average, basement dwelling College News video game writer has never experienced --getting laid.

While the results of this formal comparison were inconclusive due to a lack of any kind of real research and an excess of wild speculation and conjecture, we were able to derive the following: playing Uncharted 2 sets such unrealistic standards for what orgasmic bliss is that even the most wild, deviant, lust-fueled sexual fantasies can not compare. Here's why. "

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poopnscoop3219d ago

OMG, what a freaking loser. Who da hell plays video games instead of getting laid? And lol @ saying dat chick is hot. And the dude is hot? WTF? The writer of this POS article shoudl go get laid instead of fantasizing about his vidoe game girlfriends lol

Uncharted 2 wasnt even dat good. Modern Warfare 2 and Halo 3: ODST should be GOTY. College New sucks and is prob paid by Sony.

tehk1w13219d ago

The article is being facetious. =/

It's a JOKE article. Sort of. Well, not really, because each of these arguments are still pretty valid, even if they're not meant seriously.

3219d ago
Bungie3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

lol never mind

joke article !!!

RememberThe3573219d ago

It's a joke article. Sh*t, just by reading your comment I can tell your a lame, shut up and let us laugh at this lighthearted article.

3219d ago
Obama3219d ago

lol did ODST actually win anything? Why so butthurt?

chaosatom3219d ago

It runs better because obviously you don't own a ps3.

end of story.

cmrbe3219d ago

Is that what you do in real life?.

LittleBigSackBoy3219d ago

"sad hentai freaks" That's me! :D Nice typing by the way.

LUCKYXS7LEVEN3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

" Modern Warfare 2 and Halo 3: ODST should be GOTY " ok that right there was even to low for an x360 fanatic.
2nd , you really must be getting tired of being able to screwing one hole for the past 3 years of ur life( Hint - Its ur avatar pic).
3rd i believe it's ok to say a girl is attractive in reality or a video game modelled of a person to look hot, Cartoons don't work. so u must be one of those ppl who just by looking at an anime girl they get a " Woody " or something with a green helmet and heavy armor . Also i found u on youtube and let me tell ya screwing boxes and screaming like a girl will make into someones b1tch in no time.
come back wen ur iq has grown up a bit at troll level ok PP, ok bye
@ LIttleBigSackBoy
u made me Lol'd

Bungie3219d ago

lol @ Obama

here we go again with the multi account BS

Anorexorcist3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

"OMG, what a freaking loser. Who da hell plays video games instead of getting laid?"

"sad hentai freaks who dreams abot their video game GF's cuz they culd never get a girl in real life."

"real men play games lik halo, modern warfare 2 and gears. games dat require real skill. rest of u guys can whack off to ur video game playboy edition lol"

Well if you yourself are such a great bush-packer who looks down on others who play and don't get laid, why the hell are you making so many damn comments, sounding so bent up out of shape and angry that Halo ODST or MW2 didn't win GOTY?

With the way you type, you sound like some wannabe macking playa living in the hood who in real life ain't nothing but a PLAYER of mindless shooters.

Aceluffy3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

He's just a troll who can't take a joke. He just joined 1 hour ago, really obvious it's a duplicate account, pathetic.
Quit while you're ahead Poop, you're just giving 360 fans even worse reputation.

lolcatz3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

Well this wasn't the kind of reaction I expected at all.

sikbeta3219d ago

Take it easy pal, you are taking this too serious and it seems like you have plenty of time to post comments, so much time wasted posting comments instead of just having some special time with a chick

If you have a GF, then you already know how difficult is to get some Hentais or anything Erøtic related, the chicks just hate that, personal experience here lol

kneon3219d ago

But poopnscoop you are even funnier.

Oh, you're serious? And you really talk like that and/or can't spell? And you really think gears is better than uncharted? That's sad :)

And BTW, hotter and louder is better if you talking about sex, but not when you are comparing how your XBox runs better than a PS3 :)

Jack-Pyro3219d ago

Be the only one who thinks this guy is acting like a retarded bot on purpose.

Guy's seriously, he's probably a PS3 Fanboy, trying to make 360 Fanboy's look bad. Though I could be wrong, I'd like to have a little more faith in humanity to think that he's being serious.

poopnscoop3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

y wuldnt i be serious? is it that hard to believe there are peeps out there who think teh xbox 360 is better than the ps3?

i dont understand all dis hate just cuz i think halo and modern warfare 2 was better than uncharted 2. both dos games wer awesome in terms of graphics and gameplay. uncharted 2 was just mor of da same with sum bigger explosions and multiplayer. nothin that excitin really.

i think its cuz alot of u haters are just blinded by ur mindless worship of sony. dats ok, tho, cuz every1 will know dat xbox 360 will be king in 2010. its got teh better exclusives ne way.

wats ps3 got? Heavy Rain? another one of dos pathetic games dat use naked boobs to sell itself insted of actual good gameplay like call of duty. even tho itll be boring as hell, peeps will still buy it cuz its the only chance theyll see boobs lol.

MAG? it's like a really bad version of bad company 2 which is gonna be multi plat. Final Fantasy XIII? lol, forgot, xbox has dat one too.

god of war 3? more of da same, just like uncharted 2.

last guardian? prob wont even see dat till 2011.

im not hatin on the ps3...i just dont think its as good as what da xbox 360 has.

PS360PCROCKS3219d ago

@poop, dude your posts rival your name, they're shi**y. They are also giving me more of a headache because all dis talkin ur duin is makin mah brain hurt.

xbox3flopteen3219d ago

seriously you were fine until the u2 not being up enough for being the truly goty this year...BOT!!!!!really fail, and then comparing it with halo 3...don't disgrace us xbox fan!!!!lool

tehk1w13219d ago


Look brah --just because reading obviously hurts your head doesn't mean you should be hating on Heavy Rain. I realize the fact that there aren't space marines, aliens and chainsaw guns in it offends you in some inexplicable way, but you're just going to have to chill out and realize that not everything in the world is tailor made for retards with explosive ADHD.

Jack-Pyro3219d ago

If you really want to make the 360 look like the better system, than for the love of god, TROLL INTELIGENTLY! Check your spelling, and for the love of god, bring something else to the table than just "THE 360 IS TEH BEST CAUSE IT'S GOT TEH HALOZ" It makes you, and the 360 community (well the fanboy community) look bad.

shadow27973219d ago

"real men play games lik halo,"

Hahaha! Do you prefer the pink or the purple armor?

I hate to break it to you, but no video game will make you a "real man". Go kill a Grizzly with your bare hands, or at least do something worthwhile in real life, then you might be able to call yourself a "real man". But right now, you just sound like a toolshed with a faulty keyboard.

- On Topic

Hilarious article. My favorite part was the Twilight reference. Haha.

/not a "real man"

DevastationEve3219d ago

I still think games really don't need to imitate life. It's a valid form of art and I'm glad that it's come this far, but I just don't see much in it for me now that I'm an adult.

It used to appeal to me when I was young and thought that games should really push for more gratuitous violence and sex. I'm old enough now to join the Army if I want to see violence, or go to a strip club if I want to see pole dancers. I don't need it in my games to make me feel adult, that's all I'm saying.

Gaming shouldn't try to imitate life if it's just going to do it for the audience to interpret as being mature.

Ravage273219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

people like poopnscoop are one of the reasons why i'm glad i don't own a 360. He's fits my impression of 360 fanboys perfectly - kids with brain damage who only plays Halo/COD thinking that they will somehow turn them into men

Karum3219d ago

REALLY just claim MW2's gameplay was better than UC2 then say UC2 was just more of the same?

That is single handedly the most retarded statement I've ever read on here.

That comment alone has put you in the stupid troll category for this site. Be gone with you.

Digitaldude3219d ago

Poopnscoop is the one of the funniest members ive seen.
Hes either purposely trying to troll for fun or is very narrow minded.
He joined like 7 hours ago and already on 3 bubbles. Wow.

Anyway love the article, witty. However Am I the only one who doesnt thin Chloes hot? nether Elena however Elena>Chloe.
Isnt it funny how the voice actor for Elen is hot as and Elena isnt?

ravinash3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

He has to tell me how one comment further up only has 3 bubbles but a later one manages to have did he do that???
And this is all under the same set of comments.

It is a bit sad when he has to use the only 3 big hitters 360 has, Gears, halo and MW2...which are all the same game anyway...and MW2 is on PS3.
I think I can tell he's only into one type of game if he's missing other classics like mass effect. And what, no Forza 3??

rockleex3219d ago (Edited 3219d ago )

To play MW2's single player after finishing Uncharted 2's single player.

Naughty Dog HUMILIATED Infinity Ward at their own game... the big action set-pieces. Not to mention how many plot-holes there were in MW2's storyline.

I seriously thought MW2's single player would at least hold up well against Uncharted 2, which was why I bought the game. But MW2 just ended up being a HUGE disappointment.

Its easy to see why Uncharted 2 won so many GOTY awards for anyone who beat that game.

zoks3103219d ago

No video game come between me and that "bleep." If U2 makes you forget about that pepe meat then there is something wrong with you.

I always handle my business first and foremost, games come later.

+ Show (28) more repliesLast reply 3219d ago
Son_Lee3219d ago

poopnscoop - go wack it with the red ring of death tied around your johnson. if you have a johnson.

The article was hilarious and well-written. Thanks for the read, and taking a different approach when it comes to discussing Uncharted 2.

My opinion - no matter how hot Chloe is, Elena makes the better girlfriend.

Johnny Rotten3219d ago

now only if my girl had a pair of legs like Elaine!!

tehk1w13219d ago

In other news, reading this has realized just how emasculated and intimidated I feel by Nathan Drake. :(

Oh if only I had his voice and his awesome hair and his witty wisecracks, I imagine I'd be a much better person.


cmrbe3219d ago

I like the last one, $60 a pop lol!.

I agree as well that Chole is one if not the hottest girl i have seen. I never really looked at girls in games but Chole really really turned my head around so much so i like playing as her all the time just to look at her.

I think its because ND did an excellent job in fleshing he out. What i also like about Chole is that she looks real as in no oversized boobs and all. Her body is just perfect. Realistic but perfect and her sultry australian accent really puts her over the top of others like Lara or Megan fox.