Destructoid: How Pokemon Red is blatantly better than Pokemon Blue

Destructoid writes: "Pokémon Red is blatantly better than Pokémon Blue and if you disagree with me you are a spastic. Some of you may feel that one can't successfully draw discrepancies between two games that are essentially the same, but those people are obviously stupid. I am a hardcore gamer, and that means I can draw huge lines between anything and say that one thing is better if I own that thing.

Following is a list of reasons that I have written thanks to my brain that will prove why Pokémon Red is better than Pokémon Blue, and why anybody who even remotely likes anything to do with Pokémon Blue should be considered a social Pariah and made to wash their dirty little mouths out with soap for saying they like playing such a rubbish game. Read on and bask in the warm waters of the Fact Sea".

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skynidas4326d ago

Another good article from Sterling. Again. I hope that people take it as how it is supposed to be, FUNNY!!!!


Yellow > Red > Blue

Charizard > Pikachu >>>> Blastoise

name4326d ago

Serious? Blastoise>Charizard> Garbage> death> Pikachu

heroicjanitor4326d ago (Edited 4326d ago )

Satire on the fanboy wars at it's best :)

Cheeseknight284326d ago

I'm glad someone else understood what the article was really getting at.

D2ThaEasy4326d ago

To be honest, that article kind of made me regret buying Pokemon Blue instead or Red LOL I kinda just bought it because blue was my favorite color and it did end up being my favorite game I got for the Gameboy color, but I still have regrets lol

Bnet3434326d ago

I chose Red back in the day only because everyone had Blue and I wanted to be different. Same thing for Gold and Silver. I chose Silver since everyone had Gold.

Immortal Kaim4326d ago

Seriously, best article I have read in ages, even though I had Pokemon Blue... :)

My favourite comment on destructoid was from Superted, took the words right out of my mouth LOL.

"What about Pinsir, Pinsir was the f*cking don! And Red had Electabuzz instead who looked like he was made out the offcuts of some sh*t 80's popstar's jumpsuit. Vulpix kicked arse as well, wheras his Red counterpart Mankey looked like an albino testicle.

You know what Red is? It's the colour of Communism. So sure, by all means, choose Pokemon Red, if you HATE FREEDOM. You know what else is red? Periods. So basically red is for people that are (a) girls (b) hate sex and (c) like the warm sticky sensation of blood on their inner thighs. Sickos.

Also, Blastoise sh*ts all over Charizard, and not just because water>fire. HE's got f*cking massive guns on his back, what has Charizard got? Oh yeah, a p*ssy little tail. Like a rat. Or a malformed foetus.

F*ck this sh*t anyway, I'm never coming to Destructoid again. This used to be a good website but it got sh*t, I'm going to Gametrailers at least they still have some INTEGRITY"

IzKyD13314326d ago (Edited 4326d ago )

Really? Because I got Blue because everyone I knew had Red haha
And I always thought Silver was more popular than Gold
IMO, it's:

Michael Jackson4325d ago

"Vaporeon is great because it is an amphibious dog, and that's an amazing concept. There was a dog fish thing in the obscure cartoon show The Dream Stone, which most people won't remember, even though it's a fantastic cultural reference that maybe three people will get. Vaporeon is also blue, which I've always felt is an incredibly beautiful color."

Oh man, I remember that show. The Dream Stone. I loved that show when I was still a kid.

Christopher4325d ago

Don't mind Jim's articles, but all of his 'versus' ones are pretty much identical. You've seen one, you've seen them all.

+ Show (8) more repliesLast reply 4325d ago
Myst4326d ago

That about sums it up for me! -- Seeing that cover again brings back so many memories of sitting outside and on the stairs of my house, with a Gameboy in hand playing that game..

P.S. Lol! at the 7th one.

JOLLY14326d ago

I have Pokemon yellow with a "Nintendo provided" Mew

TheColbertinator4326d ago

Red was better but you don't get Vaporeon on Red exclusively.You got the Casino and get 9999 coins to get the Eevee,then buy a water stone at the Celldon market on both versions.I wonder how I remember that...

Cheeseknight284326d ago

Eevee wasn't the 9999 coins Pokemon. That was Porygon.

You got Eevee for like... 4000? coins at the Game Corner or from Bill.

kaveti66164325d ago

You three need girls, pronto.

Cheeseknight284325d ago

Because we remember our childhood? I'd bet my gargantuan video game collection that you don't even have a girlfriend.

kaveti66164324d ago

Okay, box up your collection and send it to me then, loser.

+ Show (2) more repliesLast reply 4324d ago
Kamikaze1354326d ago

I hope people actually read the article before posting. It's pretty funny, lol.

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