Toronto Thumbs writes: "Weeks ago, Konami released a new retro game called Gradius ReBirth as WiiWare. I didn't know much about it, but Jamie Love thought I'd be a fan of it seeing as I absolutely love shooters (specifically the R-Type series). So I downloaded it – and wouldn't you know it, he was right. I was instantly charmed by the game's use of 16-bit graphics and sound, its enemy attack formations, its initial snail-pace, and its stackable power-ups.
That was two weeks ago. Now, the honeymoon is over. Gradius ReBirth has left me alone in our hotel room after two fun weeks. I woke up this morning shivering, in the bathtub. It was full of ice and my back was killing me. A note was taped to my chest. It read: "Had to go. I'm too good for you. And I stole your kidneys just for fun. See a doctor..."