Gameist: "Puberty is a bitch. Your voice squeaks. You're always hungry. And since your understanding of sex is to simply insert and remove repeatedly, you're perfectly content with having sex with a fruit pie. If that wasn't enough, during my adolescence, video games matured past nondescript red blocks to accurately flaunt hot-body pixel mistresses, meaning that I had to suddenly master the art of simultaneously stomping a goomba while rearranging my legs so my mother wouldn't notice my erection.
I had issues growing up. According to the last line, I found myself turned on by Mario."