"I just completed the Witcher 3.
"200 hours of magnificence. 200 hours of lush forests, dank dungeons, bloodthirsty monsters, and tyrannical kings.
"What an experience. What a game. So why am I not writing this article to sing its praises? Why is this article not entitled ‘Witcher 3: How I love thine gorgeous frosty beard’?
"Because Dark Souls, that’s why."