Vagina Hero: Exclusive First Look

Ripten writes:

Not content with the current level of Guitar Hero milking, what if Activision decided to take it to the next level with yet another game? We suggest - Vagina Hero!

We all know what the girls are thinking anyways when they get all googily-faced over guitarists, even fake guitarists. Might as well stop faking the funk and try to teach them boys something useful. So sit back and indulge, as we transport you to an alternate reality where a publisher by the name of "Arctivision" gives birth to "Vagina Hero".

At first glance, Vagina Hero may seem overly complicated. Welcome to real life. The in-game screen above actually shows finger cues for the easy difficulty setting. Arctivision reps claim that expert difficulty is pretty much impossible unless you invest in the Pro Bundle.

[Twizlex]

I would totally play this game!

[Nostradavis]

This is by FAR the funniest thing I have read in a long time. N4G needs more articles like this. Kudos to the writer. Classic!

[jwatt]

ha ha ha

[TheTwelve]

For real...that is HILARIOUS. My goodness.

12

[Twizlex]

Why would people disagree that I would play this game? You don't know me!

[player911]

your last comment put me in tears.

[Twizlex]

No PC version? LOL!

[Nostradavis]

There is already plenty of porn on the PC.

[Blackmoses]

when's does the demo drop?

-Blackmoses-

[bunbun777]

SWEET!

[Twizlex]

I think it's funny how uptight some people are. Seems to me they could really use a nice session of Vagina Hero to unwind.

[dude_uk]

ROFLMAO

sweet game man...

[Stryfeno1]

Oh boy, Jack Thompson aint going to like this.

[TrevorPhillips]

woow N4G has become N4P News4Porn :P

[Nostradavis]

Well, if you want to be completely fair, games have changed a lot since I was a child. So I could argue that games themselves have become porn.

Hot coffee anyone?

[The Wood]

anyone?

edit
god of war 2 man

oh, im being uptight

*looks for Vagina Hero*

ill be good real soon

[Twizlex]

Keep the gods out of this. They made vaginas in the first place.

[Cusco]

Controller design is brilliant. Man this is very funny. I wonder how Penis hero will work, I'm guessing you'd get some massive forearms after playing that.
peace

[insomniak]

ummm...shouldn't that be cuntroller?

[Nevers]

that was so RONG... lol

[TrevorPhillips]

oh Nostradavis ur funny ahahahah =]

[Cusco]

Oh and as a side note

[rbanke]

yawn

[Stryfeno1]

I guest you waiting for the other version, Penis Hero?...LMAO.

[ChrisGTR1]

lmao!+ bubbles

[dachiefsman]

11.1 epic post! bubbles!

[Aaron Greenberg]

LOL....haaaha

[Denocao]

Will you have smelly fingers?

[Nostradavis]

Actually, if you practice with that controller long enough, you will have a line of girls outside your door that wraps around the block....and yes, you may have smelly fingers if you don't stop to bathe.

[SKUD]

Finally. A really funny post. 2,500 MOAN STREAK!!. LOL!!!!!!!.

[narked]

and we thought that they had went out of ideas !!!

[avacadosnorkel]

they always show the 360 version

[Sanpaku]

stupidity for understimulated males

sigh

[Nostradavis]

By your own standards, Guitar Hero would then be coined "stupidity for less talented and unmotivated aspiring musicians".

Good luck with that.

[dachiefsman]

mister high and mighty. Let me guess you didn't like superbad, 40 year old virgin, and knocked up either.

If you saw the title then why did you click it, you might just want to stay with your Charlie Brown comic strips. prude.

[weazle]

This game smells kind of fishy to me..LOL

[xionpunk]

dude (lol)

[SL1M DADDY]

I didn't get married to play some video game version of Vagina Hero... I play it for real.

[TheTwelve]

Word...I'm with you bro. It's funny how boring porn and such things are when you actually got your own steady woman. :)

12

[dachiefsman]

are you serious??? its a joke obviously!!!

[NewShadow101]

with ya twelve

[Homicide]

The bots need this. They don't get any action.

[axeblade1]

Maybe it will include weekly celebrity downloads. Jenna Jameson, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Nina Hartley...ect and for multi player action we get "The Girls Next Door" LOL. Too funny.

[alakazzam]

u watch too much porn lol

[rushbd]

:D ;D :) ;)

[Twizlex]

Agree there. What's with all these jerks being all up-in-arms over a vagina game? Seems like they fear what they don't understand.

[Nateh8sYou]

Does that mean the PS3 controller will be black :P

[IzKyD1331]

one of the funniest things i have ever read!
im still laughing right now

[xionpunk]

"At first glance, Vagina Hero may seem overly complicated. Welcome to real life." HA!

[JeepGamer]

This article is stupid and we are all stupider for having it brought to our attention.

When somebody passively suggests that maybe the gaming industry, including game makers, game news sites, and gamers in general are perhaps a little sexist... You have 5000 idiots ready to line up and either denounce the idea or just make snickering stupid jokes about it.

This article is not funny even in the slightest.

[et617]

I think your a loser and really retarded for saying 'stupider'. Irony at it's best.

[JeepGamer]

Mocking grammar or spelling... The last vestige of the person with no counter argument.

Not that the disagrees, neg reps, and such were unexpected. Nothing annoys people quite so much as having something they don't like pointed out.

[IzKyD1331]

wow, you need to get that pole out of your ass and learn to laugh at a JOKE

[JeepGamer]

The "You can't take a joke" counter, yes, definitely didn't see that coming a mile away.

I can take a joke, when it's actually funny.

The degradation and objectification of women is not now nor has it ever been funny. Would it be funny if we were degrading or objectifying members of a certain ethnic groups? How about if we decided it'd be cute if we did it to people based on their religion or sexual orientation?

As I said, when complaints crop up about sexism in gaming people start shrieking with indignant outrage in a way that brings the phrase "He doth protest overmuch" to mind... Or if you prefer, there's only one thing that pisses people off more than the truth they don't want to hear and that's the truth they know about but won't admit to.

[Enigma_2099]

And I think you BOTH need to go to a JOKE site if you want to bring teh funneh... this site is supposed to be for gaming news...which this is obviously not...

Spot the typo and win $25...

[et617]

"Mocking grammar or spelling... The last vestige of the person with no counter argument." No I just didn't really bother to elaborate to an idiot that doesn't have a sense of humor and your first counter argument was to mask your spelling mistake to look less of an idiot.

"The degradation and objectification of women is not now nor has it ever been funny. Would it be funny if we were degrading or objectifying members of a certain ethnic groups? How about if we decided it'd be cute if we did it to people based on their religion or sexual orientation?"

Wow you must hate all comedians that talk about these things in their jokes huh? Don't get your panties in a bunch over some humor that RipTen created, which the majority of people thought was funny.

What kind of jokes do you like? Really, dry soft jokes? I can't imagine how ticked off you would be if you heard a 'yo mama' joke or a 'dead baby' joke.

If you can't take the humor just because it's related to gaming your as ignorant as the journalists that unfairly bash on gaming for alienating people and causing problems in the world. Do you see comedians take bullshit for talking about such subjects?

[Enigma_2099]

... that you still laugh at fart jokes, am I correct?

Grow up.

[et617]

That picture of little Timmy beating Veronica on level expert is pure gold. Ok, I'm not sure if that kid's name is Timmy, but we"ll go with that.

[Nevers]

I LMFAO over this one.

8P

[TheDeadMetalhead]

Classic :)

[Tacki]

Jizzard Entertainment is actually working on Penis Hero. However previews for the game have been less than stellar.

"Unlike Vagina Hero which featured dozens of hours of intense gameplay (not to mention replay value)... Penis Hero falls premature of that mark. If you're so inclined, you can whack through Penis Hero's campaign in a little more than 30 seconds."

[jif86]

Why not just go outside and get a girlfriend? Jeez.

[Mr BlueScreen]

If this comes with Vibrate! LOL

[LinuxGuru]

Are you serious? What the hell?

I know it's all in good fun, but "vagina hero" ??

Ripten needs some better writers with better content ideas.

That's even worse than gamesradar or, dare I say...sarcastic gamer.

Well at least sarcastic gamer has an excuse to be crazy.

[c0nnnn]

If u jerk the vag. quick and hard does it rock out for ya?

[Enigma_2099]

... are there any girl gamers that want to comment on this?