Why Wii U is a Kids Toy

Why Nintendo's new game system is completely useless to anyone over the age of 12. A parody.

[Gr81]

Brother.

[-Mika-]

Say what you want but the cow did make some good points. From the cases to the OS. It does make the system look childish. It doesn't have the sophisticated look that Sony or MS gamecases/OS has.

Nintendo is a family/children company. So to the core gamers that buying this system. Expect the OS interface to look childish and expect everything to look kiddy. That just how it is when it comes to Nintendo as you can see from their past handhelds/consoles.

[chadboban]

You do realize that this is EXTREMELY sarcastic right? I mean for crying out loud the description says "parody". I thought you would of gotten that when you read the last line:

"They should make it like Sony does the Playstation, design it for no one. Look at the PS3!"

*Picture of PS3 Super Slim*

"Not a single part of its design process considered the costumer, and that’s why I love it. They focus on the tech, not on stupid things like “concave triggers” and “updating the Dual Shock design to standards that aren’t from 1998.”

"Nintendo still thinks that success comes from giving people something they can use, instead of something that looks good on a tech sheet."

"What idiots."

But why am I even surpised? Of course you'd obviously believe he was being serious because he basically said alot of things that you spew all the time. It's almost like in order to make himself sound like a retarded fanboy he took notes directly from you.

[Gr81]

I say Oh Brother because I knew this parody would bring out the trolls such as yourself and not see the humor here and instead go off on a nonsensical rant..such as what you did.

In any case, it was a well written article.

[Griffin4871]

You really just fail, don't you? He was being sarcastic. Such a fanboy...

[MegaLagann]

I hope you realize this was a satire making fun of people like you.

[stragomccloud]

Dude. It was a sarcastic article. You always provide loads of laughter.

[SonyNGP]

Stay classy, Mika!

[ronin4life]

Guys... mika spouts infactual crap all the time, no matter how ridiculous. No matter how crazy. No matter how constantly proven false.

How are we so sure mika is serious? I've been thinking... mika may ALSO be a parody...
O.o;;

[dubal-e]

You were just born to spam and troll wern't you?

[JokerFock]

mika will buy wii u @ launch day...no doubt! lol

[Temporary]

Mika, you might be the most pathetic troll on N4G, next to Evildead.

Thank you thought for making this parody so much more funny than it was meant to be.

[metroid32]

Another kid that thinks that Ninty are kiddy if that's true why do Ninty have more of an older audience than Sony with all its teenagers and sub teenagers ect Ninty have the most mature gamers due to owning the late 80's and 90's ect and thats a fact this new generation will only make Sony/Microsoft more obsolete.

[WiiUalpha]

Mika a prime example of the bias on this site... Does nothing but troll but is never banned. If a NIntendo supporter went into a Sony article and said something like Sony is in 3rd place, they would most likely be banned even though it's the truth, but then Sony supporters like Mika are allowed to say whatever garbage they want and nothing is ever done to them.

I'd love one of the mods to explain to me why it is you can only be banned for showing Sony in a negative light no matter how remotely true yet we have Mika,Divine Assault, SHutupand wahtever, and a few others that do nothing positive for this site and only spread ignroance and hate.

[TripC50]

The cow is just upset because it has hooves and can't play video games at all and it is obviously sexually confused. It acts like a bull but its a cow with utters.

[FanMan]

did you even read the the article?

[browngamer41]

Obvious sarcasm..kinda funny.

[Schawk]

I love the concept behind the OS , it looks well integrated, haters will be haters tho, watch the rest copy nintendo again.

This is the reason you havent heard anything from the other 2, they are watching how nintendo do there thing, then they copy
all the gizmos built into the gamepad including video chat Wii u gamepad makes ps3 and 360 controllers look like dinosaurs

[zebramocha]

You you can do like six way video chat with the ps eye.

[Stroke666]

But the gamepad comes with the system, not as an expensive add-on. and it does way more than just vidchat

[Neonridr]

wow, that was very funny. Amazingly the article tries so hard to put down the Wii U in ways that actually make it look good instead. Very well written parody!

[Sanquine90]

Oke, I am playing on this console:D Let me play with my kids toy:D :D

[DivineAssault]

Its built for everyone so it being child friendly is just a reality ppl have to deal with.. ALL their 1st party can be played by children-adults so u wont see any serious violence in their games.. With 3rd party u can but not all publishers will risk putting too much M rated content on it cuz it wont sell.. Thus casual/E rated software will be 90% of what it gets..

Nintendo hardware will never be delicate or complex.. Just simple n durable so children can play & it survives their dirty spills n sticky fingers.. Things like vita for example, wont be able to function under those circumstances because its built for a different crowd thats older & knows how to take care of their possessions for the most part

[Stroke666]

ummmmmm third party hasnt been making things nintendo cause of graphic capability not customer demographic. the wii was aimed at the casual crowd thus it did spectacular with them. the wii u is aimed at everybody, i believe it will suceed in having something for everyone. multiple dev companies have already said the wii u is easy to develop for as well, but i guess only time will tell all we can do now is give opinionated assumptions

[WiiUalpha]

Yet he will claim to be a Nintendo supporter int he next article while at the same time claiming they arent good enough and he will wait on PS4....

The guy is so pathetic he even sent me a PM asking me not to debate him any more... If he wasnt a bias troll, I wouldnt say anything to him..

Just pay attention and watch how he acts. Nintendo is never good enough but go to a Vita article and he is telling everyone to give it a chance, it ahsnt been on the market long enough to judge. His bias is so obvious

[Lovable]

Kids toy LOL...For once I would love to get one of those kid's toys...

[wishingW3L]

mmmmmmmmmmm lol

[AO1JMM]

Sarcasm everywhere. Lol

[mshope10]

pretty funny.and the best is some Sony fanboys didn't even see the jabs at them and they think it's a serious thing.yep a cartoon cow calling wii-u a children's toy is meant to be serious.

man some fanboys are so blind.

[SeraphimBlade]

Pretty funny.

"He became a game journalist and looks up to one day live up to the professional practices of IGN and Kotaku."

Looks to me like he already has.

[GraveLord]

It may not be a kids toy, but it sure looks like one. Even the user interface looks way too child-friendly for my tastes.

I'll get one eventually though. For a next-gen smash bros.

[ronin4life]

In all honesty, it kind of does. But I also think the psv does too.

[Sidewinder-]

Fisher Price Baby Toys!!

[Npugz7]

Um no it really is aimed towards little kids no sarcasm!

[Stroke666]

yeah ur right because when i think of M rated games, HD graphics and social networking the first thing to come to mind is my children

[_LarZen_]

Funny stuff! The even more funny part is that this is how some fanboys actual think :)

[shutUpAndTakeMyMoney]

half true. If u look at the games then at least half of them are for teens. And yes I know they article is fake. But just look at the facts. WiiU Won't be the hardcore gamers system as always. hate it or love it. Cool controller bro.

[_LarZen_]

Assasin's Creed 3, Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2, Mass Effect 3, Madden NFL 13, Fifa 13, Trine 2, Ninja Gaiden 3, Aliens: Colonial Marines, Darksiders 2, Zombie U, Batman: Arkham City.

Just a few games coming in the launch window, if Nintendo will continue like this crazy good launch it will probably be a alternative hardcore gamers will consider.

[ronin4life]

Bayonetta 2, mistwalker rpg, retros next game... and many more unannounced titles are sure to have a "mature" slant(damn I hate the usage of that terminology in the gaming sphere... -_-;)

[Schawk]

Miiverse looks awesome, what do you get on the other systems when you turn it on can you see every game you own straight away and who is playing it?

you just get a boring list with your buddys names highlighted? how do you find your freinds that are online and talk to them quickly? video chat perhaps? "NO"

well on the wiiU "YES"

Instant messages on the controls second screen "NO"

Well on the wiiU "YES"

Can you find your buddys and message them even without looking at the tv "NO"

Well on the wiiU "YES"

Are they as intuitive as the wiiU?, i think not, nintendo is going a great direction with this to make sure gamers and friends are connected straight away no fuss.

I cant wait to get my hands on the wiiU it certainly is different but different in a good way

[Bluenuts9]

Honestly this was one hell of a good parody article though! 10 days to go and I can't wait :)!! Oh yeah and I totally agree with everything you said!

[Ck1x]

Ok, maybe i'm the only one that has seen the unboxing of this thing. But if people actually think that the PS3/360 controllers look more expensive then the GamePad, then something is seriously wrong clearly!

[Qrphe]

It's a kids' toy, but it's also a grown person's toy, it's a toy for everybody.

[MehmetAlperTR]

Sooooo Kids can Play Zombi U ?! COD BO 2? AC3? BACity? Really ? :P

[Qrphe]

Kids play all of them games you've mentioned and will play ZombiU as well. Many parents don't really care what they buy their kids.

They're not meant for them however.

[Bluenuts9]

I was behind a lady in line just yesterday that was buying her 5 year old mw3 and was reserving black ops 2, it's crazy how parents don't give a crap what their children play! It's really sickening in my opinion :(.

Can't wait for the mature games *hd* on the WiiU though!

[Psychotical]

i know it was sarcasm but great read/rant/review thing lol

[vork77]

yes thats why kids can play M Rated games on the wii like ninja garden and bayonetta 2 and zombie U

[deafdani]

Ok, that article was absolutely amazing. Bookmarked the website. Talk about a strong first impression, I'll pay attention to those guys from now on.

<3

[jmc8888]

nvm

[Shnazzyone]

HAH! This article is such a burn on ps3 fanboys. Nicely executed even though it's clearly trolling.

[Nevers0ft]

Fantastic article... Can we have more like this to weed-out the idiots who comment on here without either reading/understanding the article being referenced?

Comedy gold, it's like watching all the fanboys an trolls stepping onto rakes :D