It's time for 20- and 30-year-old guys to put down the Xbox controller and grow up

In a recent op-ed, Kay Hymowitz argues that it's time for 20- and 30-year-old guys to put down the Xbox controller and grow up. Today's mid-20-something male "lingers happily," Hymowitz writes, "in a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance." This new phase of life is called "emerging adulthood" or "delayed adolescence" and is encouraged and reinforced by pop culture - television and the gaming industry in particular.

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toddm4371d ago

As a 34 year old man, who is married, has a 6 month old son, a mortgage, and a good job and who LOVES GAMING, I'm just not sure what to make of this article. Aren't they leaving out a demographic? People who simply have a passion for a hobby (in this case the hobby being gaming)? My family, my job, and my responsibilities come first, but when I have time for fun I game. Sure, often I have to give up sleep to make time for it. You'll most likely find me getting up early to game between 4 and 7 AM. But I'm sure someone who was really into, say, needlepoint could be found stitching in the wee hours of the morning... right?

witchking4371d ago

I'm 40, 2 kids, full time job, whopping mortgage. Gaming is usually the only thing that keeps me sane.

va_bank4371d ago

They ARE missing a demographic - because if they included it, his "point" would be invalid.

Close_Second4371d ago

...I do hate getting my ass kicked by the kids that play on-line. I'm 36, 4 kids but have been gaming since I was about 10. Hell, Id rather be gaming than out on the town wasting all my disposable income on alcohol.

Armyless4371d ago (Edited 4371d ago )

Let me tell you why we get a bad rap from non-gamers.

They don't understand the passion of our hobby.

This is the FIRST generation, EVER, to have video games. I grew up with them as a child into adulthood. My parents and grandparents didn't have video games, so they understand them as "childish" because their "children" played them.

It's the same failure that the non-gaming society at large has for gamers... and the reason why our industry is so often under attack for mature content in video games.

Here it comes...

They think video games are for children.

I don't know why they think their opinion is more valid than ours... we who actually PLAY the damned games. Games being for children, is a misguided stereotype, and one which I prove wrong every time I pick up a controller.


P.S. Games have taught me more about math, reading, computers, competitive thinking, coordination, strategic planning, science, networking, politics, stocks, saving money, city planning, writing, social maturity, flying, music, art, journalism, business management, web development, and more, than SCHOOL EVER DID.

4371d ago
Armyless4371d ago

Back to the article.

Look at this quote.

Kay S. Hymowitz wrote, "For the problem with child-men is that they're not very promising husbands and fathers. They suffer from a proverbial "fear of commitment," another way of saying that they can't stand to think of themselves as permanently attached to one woman."

Having read the article, it's pretty clear that this "writer" is a man-hating she-b!tch. She's probably fat, unattractive, and blames men for not getting the attention she's desperately clawing for.

JsonHenry4371d ago

I am 26, married, with 1 kid an another on the way and two dogs. I am the only one that works in my home. I OWN my home, I OWN my car, and I have accomplished this all the while playing video games.

I think after accomplishing these things I am "adult" enough to choose my own hobby as I see fit.

Maybe this women needs a hobby? Other than being a blatant feminist.

djevolve4371d ago (Edited 4371d ago )

This feminist is a complete idiot. In the 60s you didn't have to go to college to make good money. Being in your 20s is something to enjoy, not to rush your life and hurry up and get married, which ends up in divorce. waiting later to now exactly what you want is not a crime. There's studies that show waiting later to have kids helps not only to structure the kids life better but also in having the funds to pay for college and necessities for life. Gamers are some of the smartest people on earth. A lot of doctors are starting to pick up the controller because it helps in surgery. I guess this b-tch thinks bill gates needs to grow up too.
See there is a bunch of different factors that come in that she doesn't even touch on. When I sit home and play my xbox I save a hell lot of money as well. It also makes my girlfriend happy because I'm not parting at the bar instead.


FU-K THIS b-tch

Spunkmeyer434371d ago

I discovered it was a woman who wrote it, and as such i am prepared to disregard.

I'm 29 and have a large mortgage, very good job and long term girlfriend, i don't think any of these things define me nor do i think enjoying gaming makes it possible for some idiot to generalise a massive demographic and label me.

It's like me saying the author of this article is a 40 something short haired lesbian who wears tweed and is a advotacte of the Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms. Ooooo what are the chances!

Spunkmeyer434371d ago

I discovered it was a woman who wrote it, and as such i am prepared to disregard.

I'm 29 and have a large mortgage, very good job and long term girlfriend, i don't think any of these things define me nor do i think enjoying gaming makes it possible for some idiot to generalise a massive demographic and label me.

It's like me saying the author of this article is a 40 something short haired lesbian who wears tweed and is a advotacte of the Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms. Ooooo what are the chances!

marionz4371d ago

if you enjoy something why give it up?
should i stop listening to the music i like or stop watching movies i enjoy?
its all entertainment, and if this person thinks the things you grow up with and have enjoyed all your life should change then im sorry but i disagree!
my mum is 49 and loves games, its her way to break away from the stress of work and she will be playing games untill she decides shes sick of it, if someone told her to grow up and put down viva pinata im sure she would have a few harsh words for them.
enjoy your life and the things you like to do, i love the movies music games and getting out with friends, and im not going to swap that for knitting or bowels, maybe this guy just needs to enjoy life a bit.

AzaziL4371d ago

Sorry, but first it was that men wouldn't grow up and move away from sports. For so long they complained about how lonely sundays would get in the cold winter months. Now most have abandoned their quest to get us away from sports and just joined us on sundays like they should've from the start.

But a new enemy has emerged, one that is there year round and can be enjoyed any time of the day. I've known so many women now that hate it when they're man can't put down the controller for them, but the common factor with these women seems to be that they're overly dependent on the company and comfort of someone they like. In other words, they need too much attention and hate it whenever something is drawing that attention away from them. The same can be said for any guy who gets jealous whenever his girl isn't by his side, so this in no way is an issue about sex, but rather an individual's personality.

Most people can easily live independent lives while sharing their times with the people they love and enjoy to be with, that's what compatibility is all about. If a woman or man cannot stand you enjoying your life the way you like, then that person is probably not someone you'd be compatible with, and you should likely more on. Because it's only a matter of time before you'll either have to make adjustments to your life they you'll not enjoy, or your other will finally give up and leave. However in those few cases where one can finally accept the other without them giving up what the love (within reasonable bounds, drug and WoW addictions do not count), then that there my friend is true love.

IntelligentAj4371d ago

Oh this is some hardcore BullSh**. So because you want to relax a little and not obsessively pursue career goals and your a game it's a problem? In our day and age we have more time to decide what we want to do(and not just enter a career and then 10 years later be sick and tired of it). Hell i'm 23 and engaged with 2 jobs and i'm an avid gamer so I don't really see this guy's point.

Gina-get-u4371d ago

I'm pushing 30, I've been with the same firm since I graduated (post-grad education - check), high-stress profession but doing ok, just got promoted; two mortgages (1 primary residence, 1 self-liquidating rental, both conventional fixed-rate/30-yr., never been late, thank you); we're not married yet but have been together since college; that will come in due time, when we're both good and ready, and when it happens I guarantee it will be nice and proper; naturally, no kids yet but I have two housebroken dogs who are healthy, well groomed, well trained, properly socialized and well behaved. Oh, and yes, I game, have been for years, will be for many more.

If that sounds immature to anybody out there, you can kiss my @$$. See if I care.

aaron58294371d ago (Edited 4371d ago )

I'm 26, i run my own company with 2 other business partners... and gaming is still my favourite pass time. Besides my social life. :P

Maybe this guy should shut up.

Edit : Oh wait.. i just found out it's a woman ?? Then SHE should shut up !!

NanoGeekTech4371d ago

Gaming is my glass of scotch no ice. I have a decent job, girl and a 4yrs old, pay way too much taxes, and work 40hrs plus and personal I think I have enter that state of mind many call "adulthood".

Being an adult does not equate to just running around being engulf in a mundane rat race.

"I would like to enjoy life thru a digital medium."

rawg4370d ago

Enjoying video games at home is more responsible than a lot of other things I could be doing that would be consider mature, like playing a $100 round of golf or going to Vegas for the weekend.

The author of the article is basing her argument on the incorrect assumption that games are juvenile and gamers are adolescent. She should do some real research by talking to gamers rather than lazily rearranging her prejudices and regurgitating tired cliches about basement dwelling gamer geeks.

madmike4370d ago

hi am 33 been gaming for years got a great job and just bought a new car been married for six years and got three kids this women is way of the mark

+ Show (16) more repliesLast reply 4370d ago
toddm4371d ago

She singles out the Xbox. I take this to mean that as a Playstation 3 fan I'm in the clear. :-)

Joey Gladstone4371d ago (Edited 4371d ago )

I consider myself a TRUE gamer........and I can personally see myself playing games until I am an Old man and my arms are to old and weak to lift my cherished Playstation 12 controller........
..."The JOEY has Spoken"

ravinash4370d ago

I'm old enough to know what I enjoy doing with my time, and if I want to spend it playing games and having fun rather than adding to an already over populated world, than thats my business.
I'm 31, single with no kids...but thats only because I haven't meet someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with....nothing to do with gaming.
Most people my age who are gamers have a balanced life, and its no different than those people who would spend all there time watching lest this is more interactive and it keeps your brain active.

The_Engineer4370d ago

one is in his 50's and his son bought a 40gb PS3 off me as a xmas present for him. He immediately went out and got Assassins Creed.

the other one is 65, the secretary general of FIFA and A MULTIMILLIONAIRE and I was there programming his office automation system when his PS3 showed up and we started playing Resistance.

dumb broads like this should be ignored

OC_MurphysLaw4371d ago

They just dont allow themselves to enjoy their immagination and/or creative side of their brains. That or they just are so intwined in what "socially acceptable" is in their circles they just wont allow for the possibility that gaming when you are older is ok. I feel sorry for them...

...more to the article. With all the added preasures from society for kids to grow up faster its no wonder that as you mature you yearn to allow yourself to indulge in some of the things as a kid you missed out on.

PS3n3604371d ago

exactly why I started gaming at age 30

Proxy4370d ago

Kind of like Micheal Jackson, who was denied his 15 years of childhood, so he took a 45 year break from real life to make up for it... sorry...

shotputking4371d ago (Edited 4371d ago )

1)he fails to realize that people live a lot longer now... yeah, back in 200 b.c. you were dead at the age of 30, so should be all be retired from our jobs at 20, and living in nursing homes at 22? people live a lot longer than they did even in 1965... and to further accentuate that point, in today's ever advancing society, a person NEEDS to get a higher level of education, at least a 4 year degree, to really succeed in the workplace. so now instead of getting a factory job at 18, adulthood is delayed to at the very least 22 before a male can begin to start an adult life.

2) he constantly refers to how these SYMs go to the bar and "hook-up"... so are they all homosexuals? because he keeps claiming how holy-er-than though all women of the same age are, and they would NEVER do such things as hook up.

3) the comments early on trying to blame video games are ignorant and mis-guided... another adult who is scared by the computer savvy of the younger generations. similar to cooper lawrence talking about mass effect. we are at an interesting crossroads where video game playing is now the norm instead of a dirty little hobby. it is becoming so prevelant that i would even call it a "hot-button issue" for our society. and becuase of the increased visibility of video games, and the money the make and time they occupy, every attention-whore in the media is trying to jump on the bandwagon by bashing it for publicity.

i'm 23, make $80,000 a year, am buying a house, haev been with my fiance for almost 3 years, work 1.5 jobs (both in property tax), graduated with a bachelors in accounting with a 3.3 last year after 4 years in college, and attribute a lot of my success in the workplace and in school to my computer and electronics skills granted to me by a lifetime of video game playing.
so for the media: please keep preaching the evils of video games to the masses, so that the people growing up after "generation next" are left in the dust by our abilities that we learned from those oh so evil video games.

Armyless4371d ago

(shhh, it was a "she")

That cleared it up a bit for me.

ravinash4370d ago

maybe her boyfriend prefers to spend his time infront of his console than be with her.