I'm not a Gynecologist, but I'll check anyways.


CRank: 5Score: 3790

User Review : The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

  • Extremely Fun
  • Exploration
  • Soundtrack
  • Glitches
  • Annoying Meme

I Used To Go Outside...

I've been typing this review for WEEKS, trying to make it as perfect as I can. I finished this Game about a month and a half ago. I was that enthralled...

In this review I'm going to tell more of a story than a review, I'd figure almost everyone knows what this Game is anyways... I will add my thoughts and give my results and opinions at the end. So if you have time... sit back and relax... take your pants off if you must.. but nonetheless enjoy...
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In the wee morning of December 25th (I prefer Winter Solstice) I heard a knock of the door, I opened to see a figure cloaked in old black robe saying "take this" I asked "why?" he never replied. Confused at first, I took it and said "how much did it cost" he never replied, he simply stumbled away. I shrugged it off and thought of it as a kind gift from an old man.. This package, was a package like no other... it was big (insert sexual joke here) and heavy...

I opened it up to discover a wonder of items... and finally the cover of an old charred case... I looked inside to find a disc... I heard... voices... "play me" it said... at first I was scared, I prayed the flying spaghetti monster would protect me from any evil that dwell within the disc... but, curiosity got the best of me. I got the disc and put it in my Playstation 3, somehow, I heard the console say "NO... it can't be done!" I shrugged it off, not questioning the logic of how an inanimate object could speak. After it installed, suddenly I was thrust-ed in to an unknown world.

I found myself in the back of a carriage, a man says "you tried to cross the border in to Skyrim no?" I looked around, then say two more men with us. One was a rebel, the other, a petty slave. Apparently, we were headed to an execution, in my mind I began to panic, that death was in sight, we stop, the guards tell us to get out, as we proceed to a small village, they placed us in front of a small tower, a crowd watches patiently for the inevitable decapitations. The petty slave makes a break for it, but utterly gets a arrow to the (knee) back of the head. They call my name to speak of the crimes I've done before I'm pwned. Not before I can change my appearance and name. Then... out of the blue, a terrifying, shaking roar is heard across the sky. Then a stream of fire burns away the entire village, killing anyone in its way. I catch a glimpse of this beast, it glances at me, our eyes meet. I'm shocked, worried, terrified, but somehow I know we'll meet again, how essentially, even with all this chaos, I'm spared, I escape with a man named Ulfric Stormcloak, with his thick accent and golden mullet, we escape the village, that village was named Helghan, I ask him, "what happened? what was that?" He says "The Dragons are coming back" from that point on I become immersed in a beautiful, frightening, epic, sprawling world... I discover I am a Dragonborn, I embark on countless quests, join countless groups, kill hundreds of enemies, only to finally ascend in to the Nord afterlife known as Sovngarde where I faced my true enemy, Alduin "the world eater", I then awoke in my bed, back in reality, only to find that the disc was gone along with the box. I am saddened at this discovery, confused at why all this has happened. The old robed man was gone. I come to the assumption with the possibility that it was all an illusion, maybe a dream? But... then I find a necklace... an amulet of Talos, then I come to the startling revelation that things are not as they seem... but then I smile and think.. maybe one day, I'll return to the mysterious land of Skyrim, continuing my adventures of the Dragonborn...

Then.. I hear a knock at the door....

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Skyrim is one of the funnest Games I've ever played, I made sure to wait until Christmas to play it, it did seem to be much easier to play, there was slight lag after 60 hours, but thanks to the patches, it worked fine for me.

Anyways, as an RPG its fantastic, the way you level up is interesting, being a fan of Fallout made it somewhat complicated to get use to.. for me, it didn't take TOO long. The kill cams are awesome, Exploration is freakin awesome, almost every place you visit has a quest, big or small, which adds to the replay-ability, the radiant quests are cool, although for me, they built up to the point where they were more overwhelming than the main quests. Speaking of quests, I'd like to speak of the quality of the quests, they're good, the main ones i.e The Dark Brotherhood and The Thieves Guild, follow a very similar pattern in each, does this become repetitive? Eh, not really, to me at least, because I enjoyed talking to the members of the group, I joined Ulfric and his rebellion against the Legion (New Vegas much?) this particular quest line was bugged half way through, then all the sudden fix itself, I dunno how. I also became a werewolf with the companions (only to avoid becoming a Vampire) and unfortunately this quest bugged as well, I can't do the purity quest, oh well... I started a new play through anyways. Shouts are awesome, absorbing a Dragon soul is so satisfying.

Graphics and Audio are fantastic, even on consoles, Skyrim looks and sounds fantastic, watching a waterfall on a sunny day while listening to the ambiance of the soundtrack is great, especially when you have gaming headphones.

Well that's it, really. I love this Game. Buy it, rent it. At least now, its relatively safe to play. You'll have hours and hours and hours of fun, just plan ahead, take work off, buy a portable toilet, whatever... you won't be able to let go.

Fun Factor
The story is too old to be commented.
Mystickay863253d ago

Just bought this game, 40 hours in and having a blast. Haven't even visited some of the cities yet. Too much to do, and the dungeons are incredibly well done.

Commander-Koslun3253d ago

Agreed, glad you're having a good time. Thanks for reading.

NeXXXuS3251d ago

Annoying meme. I lol'd XD

Blastoise3250d ago

Gonna have to disagree with you. I realise that i am in the minority, but i found Skyrim incredibly disappointing & I think its really overrated.

360ICE3250d ago (Edited 3250d ago )

Incredibly disappointing? What did you expect that they failed to deliver?

To some extent I agree I guess. The lag was ANNOYING after getting 40 hours or so into the game, but then again I was at that point 40 hours into the game for good reason.

Great game, and a fitting review!

Blastoise3250d ago

A good storyline? Quests that are not fetch quests or "kill this guy for me" quests? A world that isn't quite so bland? Many things to be honest, especially considering the amount of 10/10s this game has. I had lag and bugs, but neither of those bothered me. It was everything else.

360ICE3249d ago

I can see that. I just think that what passes for stories in RPGs and other games tend to be far worse than what is found in Skyrim. I mean, try FFXIII and then switch to Skyrim - then the story will feel PRETTY good (and FFXIII is not the worst, by far). Even so the story isn't the point, it's really just being a guy in skyrimm, so the story becomes the backdrop in many ways.