Walking poodle skirts.


CRank: 50Score: 0

XBox Hides Evil in New Update

If you are like me, you love your Xbox 360. With Halo, Call of Duty and the Elder Scrolls fresh on the market, it has never been a better time to be a gamer. Xbox offers us countless hours of bleary eyed, sleepless entertainment that only the sudden realization of school or work can pull us away from. And now the staff at XBox offers you a few new surprises. The removal of your Constitutional rights.
But Sephris, you say to me, how can this be possible? And how terrible can it be? I mean, we are talking about game designers here. This isn't Enron. TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE!!!
Well, they did it under your nose and forced you into giving your rights away without you even knowing it. Remember that update you got around the end of 2011? The one that gave you that cool new dashboard? Well, hidden deep in the fine print is a clause that says no matter how badly you are treated by anyone at Xbox, and no matter what they do to you, you are powerless to sue them if you ever go on their Live service after the update was released. For a few days they allowed people to opt out of other words you could give up your Live subscription so you would still have the ability to sue them if they did something bad to you.Of course there really isn't much bad they can do if you aren't on their Live service in the first place. Still, for those of you who do play on Live and wanted this opt out so you could forever be alone with your beautiful XBox and shun the rest of humanity, all you had to do was write them a letter and send it to them where they could conveniently lose it. But they decided this was too much of a risk for them and pulled the ability to opt out a few days later. (You can read the full story here:

So ok, you can't sue them if you play on Live. Big deal. You just play your games and that's it, right? You have no reason to want to sue these guys. After all, these guys are there to entertain you and make you happy! They are, right? I mean, there isn't something more nefarious going on here, is there?
Well, imagine yourself an XBox support guy. He gets bitched at all the time by people. He tries to give advice, but it isn't always good advice. And this time he gives bad advice. Advice that could get the gamer in real trouble. And the customer ends up figuring this out. That gets him in a little trouble. Now he knows he shouldn't give advice unless he knows for sure it is good advice and all is back to happy wonderful rainbows of tasty jelly and bloody warfare...

....or not.

Since the update there has been a wave of hundreds of XBox gamers flooding chat boards about the torment and abuse they have been getting from the XBox staff. From being lied to and run around in circles so their problem is not solved to being banned for no reason or being harassed by Microsoft employees IN GAME so they are not able to even enjoy the one thing they really love.
It seems this no sue policy Microsoft wrote up has given free reign for any of their employees to make the XBox gaming experience the flaming afterworld of pain and doom.
"But why do they do this, Sephris?!?!" You ask of me. Well, there are two simple answers. The first one has to do with hackers. You see, there are those that mod XBoxes and sell them on the market. Officially, XBox says anyone using one of these modified XBoxs while on Live will get banned. They even have a handy place on the person's profile page where you can go report them for cheating you out of a fair game. So they should be taking these guys down in droves, right? Well, not exactly.
Microsoft realized that if people can afford modified consoles, they can probably also afford to buy a bunch of other garbage they sell. As most of their income comes from avatar items and prepaid cards, they want the people that can spend the most to be their favored customers. So when you report a hacker, you are really just making yourself look like a little nark to them. A nark against those who are eager to fork over money to make themselves look better than they really are. And that makes them take notice of you.

Shame on you for your damned morality!!!!

The second reason is simply because they can. Think about it. You work for a big gaming company that just crapped all over the Wii and PS3, the companies that were pooing all over you not very long ago. You're mildly obese girlfriend just broke up with you because you are a retard that does nothing but play games at work and at home. You try to drown your sorrows in one of the dozen pre-opened 2 liters of Mtn. Dew you have on your coffee table, but that just makes you more jittery. Then you go on to play some Halo Reach and a puny little twelve year old thwaps you in the head with a sticky grenade and then teabags you as your blood oozes down the wall. To make things worse, his gamertag reads "N00bPwNr" and you know that is what he thinks of you. In the past there wasn't much you could do about it. But now, now that Microsoft made sure it could not be sued for any reason by it's customers, you can teach that little runt who the real boss is.
And they have.
Microsoft and XBox have decided to take the nefarious road that only the foulest of creatures, such as Netflix and that thing from Cloverfield, dared to trudge and alienated their customer base. Except this time instead of trying to rape your bank account, they are allowing their employees to release every ounce of insecurity and instability they have locked in their nerdy bodies and spray it like a skunk all over your Live experience. And while you notice something is wrong...when you throw a grenade under the feet of a guy who is just standing there teabagging at you and it doesn't hurt him in the slightest, but he kills you dead with one shot from a weak pistol to the chest...the CEOs high five one another and pop open a new bottle of champagne.
And they are very confident about this move. They control the show now, and the masses must conform or die a sad and lonely banned death. And why shouldn't they be so happy? This is the same route so many other huge corporations have taken. Corporations like GM and Sally Mae. Like Goldman & Sachs and, again, our beloved Netflix. They forced moves that were underhanded and morally wrong and the entire world just loved them!

Wait.... The people hated them and their businesses suffered horribly for it.

I guess it takes someone on the other side of the TV screen to realize how stupid this move was by Microsoft. The question is, how many have to suffer before the giant is finally taken down?

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bwazy2171d ago

I request a TL;DR please.

For obvious reasons....

Or wait... No


Or not.

Sephris2171d ago

I would love to comply, but I am confused and drowning in things called bubbles and CRank. And it kind of tastes like Murphy's oil soap for some reason.