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Goat Simulator: “Goats are the new zombies”

IndieMonth | 113d ago
User blog

By Valenka

Let’s wind the clocks back a few years and consider the protagonists we’ve been paired with in our favorite video games. We’ve had the classic male and female heroes, a round, yellow glutton, an anthropomorphic bandicoot, fox, raccoon and dragon, and even robots. Yet, many people were surprised and skeptical when a goat crossed the battlefield. Goats are essentially Satan’s minions and you need only interact with one for five minutes or less to understand this concept. They’re highly intelligent and curious little caprines with a taste for schadenfreude. In light of this, goats do have redeeming qualities: they’re kind of cute for a little while, their milk and cheese is utterly nutritious and they can prove to be useful help around the homestead. Goats can be trained to pull carts and they instinctively bleat at anything that moves, so one will easily be alerted to a trespasser in the middle of the night. However, despite these vast qualities, some people in Sweden decided to make a goat a video game character and highlight only their secret desires to wreck everything around them.

Swedish indie developer, Coffee Stain Studios, originally created Goat Simulator in January as a joke prototype, intended to serve as a parody of other strange simulation games such as Euro Truck Simulator and even Farming Simulator. It wasn’t until an influx of comments on YouTube after releasing footage of the game in its alpha state that prompted the team to put more people on the project and develop Goat Simulator as a full title to Steam. To maintain the heavy humor and satirical background, the game was released on April Fool’s Day, which prompted many people unfamiliar with the concept to scratch their heads in utter confusion. Perhaps that was the point.



It’s an absolutely strange concoction that doesn’t take itself seriously; it relies on the bugs, glitches and deliberate lack of effort in certain aspects to produce hilarious results. Coffee Stain Studios acknowledges this in the description on Steam, where it states, “Disclaimer: Goat Simulator is a completely stupid game and, to be honest, you should probably spend your money on something else, such as a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe pool your money together with your friends and buy a real goat.” They even address the vast number of bugs and glitches with a statement in the ‘key features’ section stating, “MILLIONS OF BUGS! We're only eliminating the crash-bugs, everything else is hilarious and we're keeping it.” Some people find it annoying, but it’s crystal clear that the people who find the same enjoyment out of the entire thing as the developers and I have are Coffee Stain’s targeted audience.

Goat Simulator is an experience that visually, is like any other simulation game – Surgeon Simulator, Farming Simulator and even Postal – but still manages to be beautiful. It plays, however, like a free-roam destruction rampage with ragdoll physics and a point multiplier to keep you in motion. You’ll rack up points for pretty much anything you smash, hit, ram, lick or wreck. Yes, I said lick. Your primary mode of attack and destruction is to either ram into everything and anything or run at a full speed and make yourself go limp, colliding with whatever is unfortunate enough to be in your path. Either way, you’re sending furniture and debris one way and people the other. In the real world, goats eat pretty much anything and this is reflected in the game, where you can lick anything and stick your tongue to it like an elastic adhesive and drag whatever – or let it drag you, depending on what it is – around town.



I spent my first few moments in Goat Simulator – or rather, my entire experience – being as much of an annoying savage as humanly possible, and that’s where I found the most enjoyment in the game. After pressing “the any key” and loading the game, you are first tasked with escaping the incredibly weak enclosure in the center of town. It was then that I appreciated the nod toward a goat’s behavior in the real world. Goats are naturally curious little creatures and can easily escape enclosures like chicken wire fences. I’ve never seen a goat jump over a chest-high picket fence before, but managing to knock the farmer over and bleat like the world was ending in the process of my escape was a wonderful accomplishment. To further add insult to injury, I stuck my tongue to the man and dragged him across the street, letting go just in time to watch him get struck by an oncoming car and sent hurdling through the air at terminal velocity.

Unfortunately for the citizens of the seemingly nameless town, that was only the start of my horrific antics. I interrupted a protest against penis shaped food, jumped off a trampoline and flung myself into a parked car, causing it to explode and burst a pedestrian into flames, and wreck the inside of someone’s house before leaping out of the window. That is only a scratch of the surface of your abilities in Goat Simulator. It’s a sinfully fun little game that serves as a great stress reliever and a foundation for a quality discussion among like-minded friends. Unless of course, you choose to spend your money on a real goat, then you’ll have to take the backseat and wait for the goat to do something interesting enough to discuss, opposed to making one say, sacrifice a human to the devil. I told you they were Satan’s minions.

Goat Simulator is available on Steam for $9.99 and in the words of the great Armin Ibrisagic, “Goats are the new zombies.”

Day 2 | Coffee Stain Studios

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Transporter47  +   113d ago
I just pictured an entire army of goat zombies too funny
cleft5  +   112d ago
That would be so crazy to have an army of goat zombies, but I could totally see that happening in the sequel.
randomass171  +   111d ago
Maybe these guys will patch it into an update for the game. :D
rambi80  +   113d ago
Those goats probably ate the poor zombies
#2 (Edited 113d ago ) | Agree(1) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
ExCest  +   113d ago
Utterly nutritious. I've always wanted to try goat cheese. (That sounds so disgusting now that I've read it in my mind)
F4sterTh4nFTL   113d ago | Spam
Robochobo  +   113d ago
Glad the game was successful!
lazyboyblue  +   113d ago
I want to see a thousand goats on screen at once. It THE sole reason for next gen consoles.
snake1994  +   112d ago
It's intresting how huge impact the success of Goat Simulator had have on the other delevelopers, that are now creating those unconventional simulators
PrimeGrime  +   112d ago
Heh, some far more unconventional than this as crazy as that sounds.
#7.1 (Edited 112d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
dictionary  +   112d ago
Weee fireworks!
beepbopadoobop  +   112d ago
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a goat sitting next to him. "Are you a goat?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The goat replied, "Well, I liked the book."
Snookies12  +   112d ago
Goat Simulator is a special thing, it's very... Special... Lol, I'm honestly glad it came out. It has certainly provided me with a few laughs.
WillGuitarGuy  +   112d ago
Bugs too stronk!
#11 (Edited 112d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
Budobear  +   112d ago
I struggle to play the game, as I can't stop laughing.
RexDD  +   112d ago
"Goats are essentially Satan’s minions and you need only interact with one for five minutes or less to understand this concept."

Finally someone gets it!
akshgarg  +   112d ago
"Goats are the new zombies"-GoatZ in development?
#14 (Edited 112d ago ) | Agree(0) | Disagree(0) | Report | Reply
Emilio_Estevez  +   112d ago
Maybe the best $6 I ever spent. Goat sim is just one of those games you need to see in action or play yourself to understand.
randomass171  +   111d ago
I just won a copy today and installed it onto my computer! :D Looking forward to rocking it soon.
Emilio_Estevez  +   111d ago
Just go in expecting some silly fun and you'll enjoy. Make sure to explore and try to do weird things.
randomass171  +   111d ago
Can do! Thanks for the pointer. :D
coolbeans  +   112d ago
"Disclaimer: Goat Simulator is a completely stupid game and, to be honest, you should probably spend your money on something else, such as a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe pool your money together with your friends and buy a real goat"

lol...gotta appeciate that kind of honesty. I figured I'd pick this up eventually when it's cheaper in price (or maybe win it here).
randomass171  +   111d ago
They know exactly what it is and you gotta love how they're handling their PR in such a tongue-in-cheek manner. Few devs take this approach these days.
Disagree  +   112d ago
peta is coming
Derekvinyard13  +   112d ago
One of the best simulators around it really captures the frustration of being a goat
xHeavYx  +   112d ago
I guess I'll have to give the game a try
Tatsuya  +   112d ago
PS4 + Goat Simulator = GOATY
shadowvisa  +   112d ago
GOATY
Marked  +   112d ago
OOOOo, now I want to have sex with a goat.....move over Zombies!
Mordecaii  +   112d ago
Zombie Goat? Fear the Goat.
spack  +   112d ago
I can't imagine goats replacing zombies. Now, I can imagine them usurping apes in some sort of "Planet of the Goats" scenario. But not zombies.
LukeFair  +   112d ago
I hope they keep updating this masterpiece. It's the crazier game I ever played!
kraideral  +   112d ago
Can this be ported over the PS4?
Juliussmith12  +   112d ago
Weeee!! Goats!
user3050031   112d ago | Spam
HammadTheBeast  +   112d ago
This game lol. I don't know how it does it, but it's awesome.
gremond  +   112d ago
I thought this game would suck but it looks like real fun!
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