I have dozens upon dozens of iPhone games, and virtually none of them are what I could honestly call “playable.” That won’t stop me from buying and enjoying them, they can still be fun, imaginative and beautiful. They’re also generally in the cheap-to-free price range, which helps make up for the fact that only a tiny minority of them appear to be compatible with human fingers, such as the standard-issue models that came pre-installed on my hand.
Let’s take Infinity Blade, for example. It’s got outstanding production values, it’s made by a first-tier developer, and the controls are straightforward: Your options in a fight are swipe for a horizontal slash, swipe for a vertical slash, or tap to shield/dodge. Reviewers have heaped praise on Infinity Blade, but I just can’t understand why. In my experience, the game consistently ignores or misinterprets all of those simple actions, giving me a vertical when I swear I voted for horizontal or flatly refusing to dodge.
How about N.O.V.A.? This Halo-flavored shooter is rocking a 94 on Metacritic, with reviewers calling the controls “fantastic” and “superb,” whereas I would call them “like operating a forklift in reverse while sighting a 12-pounder cannon.” You must vigilantly keep one thumb on the simulated analog stick to clumsily plod about and use the other to alternately smear across the visible play screen or tap the fire button—choose carefully between looking and shooting, or sprain your fingers trying to do both!
Oh, Plants vs. Zombies. I love you so much. But you have the same flaw as most iPhone tower defense games: Using my finger to drag and drop plants means that I can’t actually SEE where I’m dropping them, and suddenly a crucial peashooter ends up in the wrong position, which never happens when I play the PC version of the game. Somehow that didn’t stop the game from getting reviews that applaud its “pitch perfect controls.”
Don’t get me wrong: I honestly like these games despite their flaws, but I’m at a loss to understand why they and so many other iPhone games are consistently praised for their muddy controls.
I do have a theory, though, thanks to my recent playthrough of Deus Ex: Human Revolution. DE:HR’s plot deals with a corporate conspiracy to control the public by promoting the advantages of cybernetic implants while downplaying the chemical dependencies and bio-DRM measures that come with them.
When iPhingers become widely available—AND THEY WILL!—beware: You will finally be able to enjoy these games the way so many reviewers claim to. But will it be worth the price?
-Ben Freund
www.loadablecontent.com
After the release of the horrid avatar update, Pokémon GO fans are trying to get items refunded. This has led to some getting threats of being banned.
Shift Up has released Stellar Blade day one update 1.002 on PS5, and those who preloaded the game should be notified of this update.
Do you really not know this is about the n-word or are you saying that black people can't get offended because it upsets you?
I can't believe they're censoring this game on day 1. Games just aren't the same.
/s in case it's needed. I'm fine with them making these changes that they might not have known is culturally insensitive to some people in the big ole world. But that's just me.
They are censoring something that is deemed offensive by Journalists quoting the offensive term verbatim. They are typing it intentionally in articles while in the game it's a wall texture saying Hard next to a unrelated 3d model sign that says R store. Is it offensive or not? Crazy town.
At least IGN just shows the term with a screenshot of the game. Because it's their "discovery" and to not show hypocrisy in their HUGE vitue signal.
Hard R is the not offensive way to describe an offensive term. Are they going to type "Ha$$ R" or not use the term now?
Oh, hey, I agree with you that IGN and other journalists are dumb. Not disagreement there. But, I think for a game going out to millions of people across the world? It's not something they want associated with them. It's just horrific PR.
Add to the horrific PR nightmare that this is the first major Korean-developed Sony-published title, if I'm not mistaken.
There aren't that many Korean developed titles in general. And the allowance of this only would drive a bigger fissure in east vs west especially after Final Fantasy XVI released featuring no black characters at all...
Not a good look for Sony regardless of how you personally feel about it or the people that talk about it.
I'm not saying it shouldn't have been changed. It's an easy fix and looks like it was an easy fix.
But the word HARD being too close to the letter R being a horrific PR nightmare and a indication of a racist developer is beyond crazy.
I'm offended by the sight of blood a d violence and find violence to be very insensitive...
We can all play stupid and pretend to be offended by graphics and fake worlds.
I really enjoyed the demo.
I'm going to play through and max out on story mode then go to the challenge mode afterwards.
This game is very challenging but fun.
Especially for timing on the parrying and blocking.
Got the Deluxe Digital Edition (PS5) pre ordered.
:)
Poised to make its mark, Stellar Blade is a stylish adventure but, will it cut through the competition to soar past comparisons?
Enjoyable read
It boggles the mind as to why would you put yourself through the trouble to play these games whilst we all know that they are not enjoyable (or barely playable) due to technical limitations.Do you hate yourself or something?Well don't hate him for your own sake. :(
'Don’t get me wrong: I honestly like these games despite their flaws, but I’m at a loss to understand why they and so many other iPhone games are consistently praised for their muddy controls.'
It's because those games are at least playable and to some degree, enjoyable. When you consider the sheer volume of crap apps/games the ones that somewhat live up to expectations will be praised.
Dragging and dropping in Plants Vs Zombies? Sounds like you're doing it wrong. You don't have to do that you can just select with one tap then paste with another. After completing PvZ on the iPhone (and PS3, and PC) I think the iOS implementation is perfect.
Nova probably has remappable controls? I don't know.. Dead Space was pretty flexible and easy to control too. I never noticed any input weirdness playing Infinity Blade either.. Oh well. I can see why no buttons is an annoyance though. I've not had a truly satisfying FPS experience on the iPhone yet.
Has it occurred to you (the author) that your hands may be unusually large?