5 Questions I Am Dying to Ask Video Game Characters

GR's Daniel Hill writes:

While sitting there, in front of a glowing screen, be it a computer screen, a big and fancy OLED TV, or an ol’ fashioned CRT, playing the interactive video entertainment software of your choice; you are not there as a mere spectator. You are there to kick copious quantities of (insert species/synthetic life form here) behind, and, on some occasions, even direct the action with controller based or voice commands. No matter how much input you have with the game, however, there will always be questions that are never answered.

[NukaCola]

I saw the pic and thought "Oh I am on the same page...Elena explain this ring thing to me too" I got tons of questions and wonder what happened between UC2 and UC3.

then I read the article. what a let down. this article sucks.

[SageHonor]

Yeah what a waste of time.

[TheUnbiasedLion]

1. Why can't i just go home an have a beer and watch the world die without me?

2. Why are you so retarded at taking orders?

3. (Racing games) Why did you cut me off, thats a violation fag!

4. Why do you say the same thing over and over again when i ask you a question

5. Damn you are a nice set of pixels.....want to come back to my pad and we can do it?

[vikingland1]

Damn I thought it was a funny read.

[snipes101]

Well, thanks for the encouragement haha. That's what I was getting at with the whole thing, some people above didn't quite see it that way. Oh well, that's the internet for ya.

[Xof]

It wasn't funny... focus less on "making jokes" and more on writing a coherent article with a solid voice. And that blurb at the end did you NO favors. I read:

"Hi all, this is Daniel Hill speaking. I’m a 22-year-old soon-to-be-graduate at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh. I’ll be leaving here with majors in Print Journalism and Digital Media Arts...."

And I thought: wow, you really don't have a whole lot to show for all that. And then I read:

"...and hope to use those to get a career in video game journalism."

And I thought: good thing you've got your sights set low.

But, in all honestly, even the worst IGN drivel stands a few hairs taller than this half-assed piece. Do yourself a favor and, you know, do what REAL writers do: spend some time with what you're writing and think about it. Don't spend six minutes crafting one or two extremely obvious jokes and expect to receive anything but derision in return.

[snipes101]

The entire intent of the article was "to make a joke" and to not be taken all that seriously. If you want to see some of my more think tank pieces, just click on my name and look at what I've written before.

No need to totally insult someone's career aspirations, by the way. There's a difference between constructive criticism and just being, well, mean.

[J86blum]

I just want to ask Drake, and Sully, "Do you guys ever find yourself without toilet paper."

[Berserk]

And if so, what do you do to solve the problem?