Here it is. The grandaddy (well, the grandson of the grandaddy) of insanely hard games. Super Probotector: Alien Rebels, or Contra III: The Alien Wars as it’s known to the majority of you. Unfortunately, I’m lumbered with the inferior PAL version that switches the bad ass, machine gun-wielding dudes Jimbo and Sully for two lame robots. How it sucks to be European at times.
Anyone who has played Contra III will know why it’s featured here in Tough as Nails. To put it bluntly, it’s a rather sadistic affair. In fact, all the Contra games are pretty evil when it comes to the difficulty setting. Whichever programmer at Konami thought it would be funny to label the lowest difficulty setting as “easy” should be taken out back and whipped repeatedly. This game is cruel. Contra III is more than just a game, it’s a life lesson. And the lesson is that you will always die in the end. Over and over again.