The Koalition: "If El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron never unexpectedly show up in my mail box the other day, I probably would have ran out and bought a copy of it on the day of release. Reviewers are currently raving about this game, spewing out quotes such as “Incomparable” and “divine” but in reality El Shaddai is merely a boring action game, riddled with terrible platforming sections and dreadful story telling. Upon completing the 6 hour campaign I thought long and hard about what the game does right and, more noticeably, what it does wrong. That’s when I came to the sudden realization that I hated the entire experience. The intriguing plot and gorgeous art style makes it easy for trailers to fool you in to thinking that this game is truly something special. Throw in some glowing quotes from pretentious reviewers who were clearly blinded by the games aesthetics and El Shaddai becomes almost impossible to resist. For that reason, coupled with the fact that the game is incredibly short, I predict that Gamestop’s all over the nation will be overstocked with used copies of El Shaddai before the month is over."