Shocking Introduction: The First Hour of Duke Nukem Forever

From "It’s been 13 years in the making, but finally the Duke has come back to your console, baby. After watching my Boston Bruins punch those bitches from Vancouver in the mouth once again to force a deciding Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals, I found myself passing my local Gamestop around midnight last night and, surprise surprise, I saw people inside and a sign that said open. Since I was there and all jacked up on excitement, I said why the hell not and ignored the universal panning that has been surrounding the release of Duke Nukem Forever. Surely they jest I thought to myself. It couldn’t be nearly as bad as they say it is, could it? After digging into an hour of the game last night, I can safely confirm that yes, yes it is as bad as they are all saying."

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