A desperate woman picks up a baby and wraps it up. This is how Dynasty Warriors 7′s opening cinematic begins, and is perhaps its one and only moment that is grounded in any sort of reality. Everything else that follows is absurdity and hyper-reality, anime style to the max. The woman is pursued by hundreds of soldiers on horseback, some of them firing arrows, others with spears. Every attack, from nearly all angles, is avoided. At some point she manages to wall-run with the help of a mile-long chain from a morning star, kick a horse in the face in slow motion, and have a vertical sword fight while surfing down a waterfall, with other like-minded waterfall-surfing enemies. All in a days, work, right?