Videogamer: "I used to be the sharpest tool in the box, me. In Junior school, I aced my SATs, with a trio of 5s representing the highest scores in English, Maths and Science. In secondary school I was equally exceptional, busting out a whopping 98 per cent test score on the first maths exam of the year. I was a legend among Maths teachers; the boy whose name was (probably) celebrated in the staff room and used as an example to under performing oiks who had no interest in the language of numbers. It might sound like I'm blowing my own trumpet here, but it's actually a clever contrast: I was more intelligent then (when I was 12) than I am now. I'm more knowledgable perhaps, but my brain was ticking over much quicker when I was at school. Sure, I can just about string a sentence together, but throw some simple arithmetic my way and my brain cells go on strike. "That'll teach you for sacking off revision to play games!", they shout."