The dark secret behind Link's permanent silence? When the guy does talk he's a blithering idiot. Or at least he is in The Faces Of Evil, one of three horribly misjudged Zelda adventures made for Philips' short-lived CD-i.
Brought to life in disturb-o-vision cutscenes, CD-i Link is a petulant brat, all rolling eyes and huffy arm flails. "Gee, it sure is boring around here," he drivels, as we drive a nearby blunt pencil into the delicate parts of our ear. How did Nintendo ever let this happen?