The Bible: The Official Videogame (Old Testament)

Critical Gamer writes: There have been countless Bible – inspired Christian ‘em ups over the last few decades. The problem is that they’re either misedutainment titles, or unlicensed; and therefore buggy, boring, and technically inept. Christianity is on the decline worldwide; I asked a priest why, and he said ‘Buggered if I know’. Not sure which one of us he was referring to at the beginning of that sentence.

Anyway, I want to help! I have here outlined the first part of my plans for the perfect videogame adaptation of the Bible. Catholic, Quaker, Protestant, Baptist; any denomination is welcome to approach me for the rights to The Bible: The Official Videogame. Be quick though, as it’s first come first served. Okay, here we go:

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scruffy_bear2786d ago

Ha Ha very funny, now someone give him the money to make this

Cevapi882786d ago

id rather see a game similar to Kingdom of Heaven

Immortal3212785d ago

what about. thou shalt push gaming envelope to the best of thy ability.
thou shalt not fold under $$$ when giving a review.
thou shalt not have double standards.
thou shalt make game with sense of maturity.
thou shalt not make a premature game.

CrzyFooL2785d ago

New Testament would make a better game with Old Testament as DLC.

kaveti66162785d ago

nuh uh. there's no violence in the new testament. in the old testament you'd get to fight against goliath and much more.

cyguration2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

Totally disagree man. There were angel battles in the old testament and nephilim, and all sorts of crazy stuff. An action-RPG where you fought alongside the mighty men of valor (Dynasty Warriors style) would be epic.

Come to think of it, new testament should be DLC and you go around performing miracles and stuff in an GTA-style map, and the more miracles you perform the police come after you and you gotta out-run them and stuff.

AuToFiRE2785d ago

old testament, it is the wrathful and vengeful god. the new testament is pansy god who loves all

dredgewalker2785d ago


Try calling Jesus a pansy after being whipped and crucified. I'm Agnostic by the way but I know how to respect other people's beliefs.

Anyway I would be interested in a Civ like game considering how many wars were in the old testament.

visualb2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

dude Old Testament has WAY more gore!!! Old Testament FTW!

New Testament is for noobs

@ dredge

I agree about making it a strategy game =) many of the stories consist of masses (moses leading the slaves across the desert, noah with the animals, etc)

so a strategy game would make perfect sense!

however, one detail

Jesus wasn't the only person whipped and crucified in that time...actually in a way, he got it easy by being killed early on.

read "cause of death"

I don't want to rain on anyone's beliefs, but the idea that Jesus "suffered more than any" is a HUGE falacy.
He was killed relatively quickly, thus barely suffered since MOST people crucified were usually left to hang for days = TRUE suffering

the fact that people revere him over many others that died even worst deaths in the same time frame is merely due to martyrdom.

+ autofire isn't wrong, just worded it rudely. The old testament told of an "jealous god" that punished left and right

new testament made the "loving god" when they realized it worked better to convince people to adopt the new religion, especially in places where the only other alternative was another, "jealous" god (good nice god or angry bad god? simple decision)

a) jesus wasn't mentioned as a pansy, thus your comment doesn't make much sense,

but he also the illusion that he suffered more than others is a falacy since he didn't suffer as much as thousands of others at the time thus the whole idea of him being hard core is over-rated

b) I agree with the fact that he is disrespecting some peoples beliefs in the way he worded his comment, but he isn't incorrect

sorry for the long and slightly pompous pointless argument but i just had to point that out

dredgewalker2785d ago


No worries, I have to agree that he died less painfully now that you mentioned it. I remember the Spartacus rebellion and they were crucified on the road and they died a slow and painful death. Bubbles to you for a very civilized reply. :)

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chidori soukou2785d ago

lmao How can religion exist after Darwin? o.0

kaveti66162785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

How can you come here and turn an innocent topic into a debate?

Edit: Congratulations, Chidori, you don't know what agnosticism is.

Dawkins was an agnostic. That's actually about all that's known through written records.

Unfortunately, none of what you say has absolutely anything to do with this particular thread, and now I'm getting drawn into it. Fuck my life.

Edit: Are you fucking kidding Chidori. You're making a false claim, man. There is absolutely zero proof of what you're saying and again it has nothing to do with the thread. your comment as well as mine needs to be deleted.

JacobIsHollywood2785d ago

Darwin believed in God also. His findings were possible explanations of adaptation in various species.

visualb2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

because people are entitled to believe what they wish, as they are entitled to an opinion

just because there's scientific proof doesn't mean everyone will accept it instantly

im not religious myself, and I see a lot of problems with religion as a whole, but to doubt someone's belief isn't right

let people believe, it brings hope and love to many,

there will always be religion one way or another (its more than just spirituality, its also partially to do with being part of a group/of something = important for humans)

so how can religion still exist after darwin? it just does =)

and Darwin did believe in god, he just didn't agree with a lot of things christians stated as fact (creationism, evolution etc)
you can believe in a god and still be a scientific man of reason =)

chidori soukou2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

nope, Darwin was a self-acknowledged agnostic atheist, NOT deist..

hey bro, Darwin NOT mixed evolution with religion .

cyguration2785d ago

Agnostic atheist? So he was unsure that he didn't believe in a deity?

Haha, anyway...Evolution and spiritualism mix all the time and if you bother reading more than what you've been told NOT to believe, you might find out some interesting stuff. Check out Nikolai Tesla and how he believed that there were spiritual connections attached to the Earth that could also be used an alternative energy source.

Anyway, I think people like you are the reason everyone gets pissed at each other so quickly.

chidori soukou2785d ago


Im sorry but spiritualism has no proof to back any of it so maybe you should all go back to school...and if you do have some evidence for me please tell me.

AuToFiRE2785d ago

anyway to put this argument to rest, why believe in a book written 600 years after the time of christ, when 10,000 years ago the same story told with different characters was mentioned, why believe in a book that says women are inequal and inferior to men, that homosexuality is a sin and has caused more deaths worldwide than any other means? argument over

Lyr1c2785d ago

^ ^ ^

Read the bible. None of what you've stated is said.

People make blind assumptions based on what was written.


Just because a son anally raped his sleeping father and was cursed for it, doesn't mean homosexuality is a sin. Rape was the sin.

Know the topic at hand thoroughly before getting involved.

Esena2785d ago

@chidori soukou

We should all go back to school? And tell me... how much schooling have you had?

And what do you classify as evidence?

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MultiConsoleGamer2786d ago


Does this mean it's endorsed by God?

theonlylolking2786d ago

Makes sense since the Old testement is very very very violent and good knowledge.

jjmustoe2786d ago

the Bible best-selling fantasy book of all time

JacobIsHollywood2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )


Was that absolutely necessary? Try researching The Bible.

Edit: You're blindly following different guys. Why am I wrong? For every scientist who says carbon dating works, there is another one who says it does not. It comes down to faith. Christ changed my life.

kaveti66162785d ago

bro, on the internet people take every opportunity to hurt each other's feelings.

religion is one of those topics where as soon as I saw the title of the article I knew that there were going to be a couple of people here just spouting off like that.

It's amazing because I'm NEVER wrong about that assumption. Before I entered, I already knew. And now I feel stupid for entering.

evrfighter2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

Try researching The Bible.


and use what to fact check it?

if you wanna blindly follow the words of some dudes you don't even know who lived thousands of years ago that's on you.

toaster2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

It's ok to shoot zombies, but not ok to shoot Jesus who technically was a zombie? I'm down for a Jesus shooting game!


Esena2785d ago


You fact check the bible with the bible. Circular argument? Certainly! But how oh so perfect the circle is :)

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Lyr1c2785d ago

Creationism takes less faith than the Big Bang Theory, Abiogenesis, and any other BS theories you could pull out of your ass.

I think I'd rather believe in a book in which evidence is found proving the existence of the people within it, than scientists who attempt to tell us how the universe was created, yet can't figure out how pyramids were built, that the triceratops wasn't a dinosaur, and a proper replacement for fossil fuels.

Scientists disprove themselves all the time. If they can't tell us what goes on around our own planet, then there is no way in hell that they should be shoving creation theories down our throats.

jjmustoe2785d ago

the bible says the world is flat
Scientists says the world is a globe

I'd rather believe in science and logic

visualb2785d ago (Edited 2785d ago )

I disagree. You can't look at it that way.

firstly, creationism has a bit, but not much to do with the big bang. its more to do with natural selection vs creationism, and there, its fighting a losing battle

there is overwhelming proof (actual proof, hard evidence) that explains the world ISN'T 3000 years old, life started off as single cell organisms, and so on.

Over all, evolution of life CAN be explained, with certain steps missing due to lack of evidence (previous missing evidence has been found so...its just a matter of time/technology) it doesn't take any faith to understand natural selection, just a little bit of study of research made.

yes the big bang theory is purely a mathematical postulation based on atomic collisions, but it DOES have some proof, although very inconclusive.

Scientists admit and accept that they know nothing, but try to explain things.
creationism has no foundation what so ever. no one even knows who came up with that idea...

im not saying you are wrong per se, but a) big bang has little to do directly with creationism, you might mean natural selection and b) intelligent design is part of the bible explaining how the world was created, this, done in a time when people didn't understand how life originated, thus "filled the gap" with an explanation.

now that we have conclusive proof, this "gap filler" seems less likely.

and its good scientists disprove themselves all the time. thats how we improve. if it wasn't for science actually working and being RIGHT, a lot of what you have today , including the internet and the computer you typed that argument with, wouldn't exist =) -> check that ;)

Lyr1c2785d ago

I'm not saying the bible is 100% accurate. In fact, I believe a lot of it to be fabricated to fit the preference of the catholic church. Whole definitions of words have been changed to fit the catholic church's needs.

For example; The word fornication does NOT mean pre-marital sex. The Fornication written about in the bible is "immoral sexual behavior", such as rape, incest, and bestiality.

Not only is the bible believed to be heavily altered, but American history is so off-base it's unreal. So much of history in general is augmented, fabricated, or taken out, that it's hard to believe anything within history books anymore. In reality, we have NO CLUE what year we're REALLY in.

Just recently, what was believed to be the oldest element on Earth has been proven to be much younger than previously thought. I don't remember how old it is exactly.

With the bible being written in pure metaphor, it's hard to get a definite answer. So many theories could be brought out of the bible, such as the "New Age Christian", believing the "7 days" in which Earth was created, were actually thousands of years, or "ages" if you will.

STiRacer2786d ago

Its the jesus bible story book.

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