"See? Reviewing isn’t so hard. Follow our guide and you’ll be a pro in no time!" - Jim Sterling
Love the article's grading scale for games! It feels so true these days...
"To get you started, here are a few helpful words that you might like to use in your review: Innovative, unique, inventive, innovative, breathtaking, amazing, gorgeous, innovative, brilliant, innovative, new, fresh, exciting, innovative, superb, ICO, innovative, graphics, clever, genius, innovative, blacklisted" "10: Perfect game (our game most likely deserves this) 9.0 Excellent game 8.0 Pretty decent game and still good enough for a Metacritic bonus so use it if you must 7.0 Absolute shit that only games without big publishers deserve 6.0 Not used 5.0 Not used 4.0 Not used 3.0 Not used" Hilarious and truthful article. I love Jim's reviews. Some are jokes and some are serious, but it's really not that difficult to decipher which they are. His Vanquish review was spot on. The developer said that if you're playing Vanquish like a cover shooter, you were playing it "wrong". But as Jim pointed out in his review, one of your only up close combat options drain you of all of your strength, leaving you vulnerable. So what are your options? Play the game "wrong" or die.
"The developer said that if you're playing Vanquish like a cover shooter, you were playing it "wrong". But as Jim pointed out in his review, one of your only up close combat options drain you of all of your strength, leaving you vulnerable. So what are your options? Play the game "wrong" or die. " I don't think developers said "go straight foward towards the enemy" as a way to play it right as well. It's a mix between attacking at high speed (and using bullet time) and using cover to recharge if the suit overheats. Something the reviewer failed to grasp.
well i guess what this guys doing is taking the 6-10 and just making it 1-10 i always took this guys score for flamebait but i guess its just a more accurate way to score games.
lord of shadow entering
What do you mean?
Lots of truthiness there.
This is some highly entertaining stuff. Jim Sterling delievers again!
The Jim Sterling guide to reviewing: Give a good game a low score.
At least he's not afraid to do it.
A nice little comment by a person who has never read a review by Jim (Akagi)
Translation: Give a faulty game game a lower score, make people with low standards cry.
Motto to live by - Never believe everything you read. So reviews are not truthy or Jim's guidelines are not truthy. I'm so confused.
believe in half of what you see and nothing of what you hear... this is my motto
Awesome Review guide Jim and “Eight to ten, we’ll send games again, one to six, you’re a bunch of pricks.” best quote lol :P
someone give that stinky pig a hamburger to shut his hole ! he is not a professional journalist nor gamer he's just a joke attention-whore...
Isn't it fun posting mean-spirited remarks on the Internet where you can remain anonymous and not have to actually confront the person you're insulting? Good times!
don't be mean to him, he might cry...
Just give j-blaze a JRPG for his PS3 so he has something better to do than criticize people he doesn't know anything about.
Very funny article. It's right up there with his objective review of Final Fantasy 13 (not the actual FF 13 review, but the mock objective review he did later).
Avid IGN readers perhaps? The game-scoring system has been broken for as long as I can remember. If a game gets a 7 it's considered garbage. Why? I may disagree with Jim Sterling most of the time (I loved Vanquish and Castlevania), but this is certainly not one of those times. He's absolutely right in this regard.
They are sheep, plain and simple.
Pretty good! Maybe you should send the companies the relevant lines from the old play "Arsenic and Old Lace" where a reviewer says he'll write his review of a play on the way to the theater to watch it.
finally someone said it -_- it's so bizarre when a game receive a 7.5 and ppl say "what a low score!"
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