Imagine your living room. Everything’s in its proper place, and you feel right at home – as you should. Now imagine that your living room was directed by M. Night Shyamlan. Suddenly, up is down, left is right, and your potted plant is attempting to drive a knife through your heart while you sleep. Put simply, nothing works, even though it all looks the same as it always has. And that’s Final Fantasy XIV in a nutshell. It seems functional enough at first glance, but as you wade ever deeper, you discover a swampy muck of bugs, quirks, and design decisions that stroll right up to common sense, retch loudly, and then spit in its face.