"Sure, we knew that there would be many scantily clad hotties parading the showfloor, but we weren't expecting to see any of them 90% in the buff - the other intimate 10% being covered by a pair of skimpy pants. OK, so the ladies in question are completely dipped in body paint, but boobs al fresco is still enough to make you choke on your wiener schneitzel. And why are these Dulux puppies at the show? To promote mouse mats. What a strange, beautiful industry we play in."