Those who follow the world of indie games may be familiar with Privates. For the uninitiated, however, here's a rundown. Players lead a gang of condom-hatted marines who delve into people's vaginas and butts. Once inside, it's their job to blast away at "oozy, shouty monsters". There's a point to be made somewhere about STDs. But mostly it's about shooting things whilst wandering around inside people's front and back bottoms.
Those hoping to play the game on the 360 are about to be sadly disappointed.