Game Rant's Jonathan Poole writes: "I recently discovered that my beautiful wife doesn’t really like video games. So what’s a game-loving guy to do? Well, I decided to ask the experts."
Good article. I think the best way to make it a non-issue is involve her and explain it. Gaming IS very immersive, and while you're at it, any disturbance from outside is detrimental to the experience, even well intended or justified disturbance. If this is understood by both parties, the tips presented in the article should help indeed. It still remains a difficult task to juggle the time demands of a serious relationship and gaming. Most people eventually have to cut back on gaming time. Some of the tips can also help get along with roommates, siblings or parents.
Yeah, I agree this is a good article. My wife is cool with me gaming because it makes me happy, but I also know that our relationship comes first... When I get home I'll grab a beer and play about 2 matches online... after that, we spend time together, watch TV, eat dinner or whatever. Later in the evening, if I want to game and we don't have any plans, I'm free to game for a couple hours. She has her own hobbies and I don't give her crap about them either, because I know it makes her happy. If she ever said to me that gaming was coming between us, I'd listen and adjust my schedule and my life to make her happy... relationships are all about communication, and anything that becomes a distraction to the overall communication, can become a problem... it's not just gaming.
i tried this. didnt wrk its the equivalent to ur girl asking u to understand why she do some of the out of this world ish she does. for example: have u ever been around a girl who texts THE ENTIRE TIME SHES WITH YOU?!!? same thing here All we can TRY to do is understand. Thats what seperates the ignorant from the abstract. my girl JUST recently accepted my gaming habits, and this is after 2 years.
Depends on the person, relationship, responsibilities, etc. When my kids were younger my gaming time was more limited but now that they are grown I can game pretty much when I want and as often as I want. My wife is pretty care free about it as long as I do my share around the house and get my work done. She even picks up most of my games for me on the way home from her work on the day they are released. She has literally told me on several occasions that I should take the weekend off and go lock myself in the basement and game my ass off. She even makes dinner and brings it down to me. <- That is living! :) No complaints here. Of course that tooks years of hard work, understanding and compromise to get where we are today in our relationship. Although she started it all. Her first gift to me was a NES system.
Guess you've gotten past this stage, huh? http://www.youtube.com/watc...
I don't even know where or how to begin to tell you just how close that was to me and in some ways still is. That's a funny video.
Tell her to shut the f**k up and get hobby? Seriously ladies there enough hours in the day to do it all so chill the f**k out or pack your bags and hit the road.
she sometimes just like watching me playing and sometimes plays with me in games like LEGO and LBP. now that we just got our 1st baby, I made a deal with her that I'll watch the baby till like 2am while she sleeps. I play games mostly because Jr. sleeps most of the night and then she'll take my place watching for the babies while I go to sleep till morning and she plays game on FB most of the time because Jr. just wakes up for milk. so, we both got nothing to complaint.
been married for over 3 years now, I also have a kid and I think that the real answer to stop your partner from complaining is having control, unfortunately when we were still dating and living together, my gaming hours were our biggest issues, thing was I only played for 3 hours a day (that might sound nothing but 3*7 is actually 21) so in just one week you'd have spent nearly one whole day playing videogames personally I just quit there and then I do have those weekend in which I act as a complete hermit (especially when a long awaited game has been released) but in the end it's all about self control, being in a relationship isn't like living in your parent's house.
oh and the idea of actually including your partner in the game doesn't really work, you're just prolonging the discussion further - if on the other hand you want to be a hardcore gamer for life, then just stay single and have fun with your johnson :D
make sure u use johnson & johnson for ur johnson
@Bubbles, haha bubble for that :P http://www.youtube.com/watc...
I used to have issues with my wife about this. As long as you can reach a common ground between play time and her time you'll be fine.
Ive never had a real problem with my wife on this issue.Out of respect for her, I often dont play untill her "bedtime" (im the night owl)..or when she decides to go to the bedroom and watch some crap she taped off Lifetime. She has known since we met I love video games and wont be able to change that. Note to people getting into a relationship. If you dont like their smoking,drinking,video game addiction,etc...You cant "change them".Accept their vices or start a relationship with someone else.People will change when they want to and they are ready to.
Spoken like a real man!
After kids it gets easier to game. I have been married for 4 years and have 3 kids. My wife is a stay-at-home. So by the time the kids go to bed, she's ready too. So just game after everyone goes to sleep, and learn to live with a lack of sleep yourself. I game from 8pm to 2am at times and wake up at 4am to go to work. It's just something that you'll have to do after the family is taken care of.
As long as you don't play all the time I don't see the problem. If she can't accept that you have other interests than being with her, perhaps it's time to find a new partner? Unless you are p*ssywhipped or the type that wants to date a mother figure, of course.
Im a member of a PS3 gaming clan called MAAN. It stands for Married And Always Nagged so most of us there know all about how to handle being gamers and being married. Some of our members have qives who also game. My wife is in fact big into MW2 right now. Because of her gaming though we have two PS3s in the house so that we can both game at the same time. It can be quite hard to get your wife or significant other into gaming. But if it gets too bad just remind them that instead of sitting in the living room gaming you could be out there in a bar talking to strange women.
lol..Talking about the little pic up there ^^^ The original one is on page 2 of the article.I reccomend checking it out. And if my girl was sitting like that next to me, I think whatever I was playing could be delayed for awhile.....
That's what she said.
immature. I wonder how few people got that?
oh geez why can't people just learn to laugh once and a while? it was a joke, geesh learn to laugh.
The problem is that most women do not have their own hobbies. All they do is watch TV and shop. So, what the hell will they do while you game but be annoyed?
LOL most sexist statement i've read on here.. hey they clean, do the washing, cook dinner.. their hobbies right? Sorry couldn't resist :D Most women do have hobbies though and sometimes while working life and family life can get in the way.. any decent loving partner should encourage them to pursue their hobbies in their free time.
I wouldn't call a valid observation sexist :) Sure, always encourage them to get hobbies! The more hobbies they have the less time they want to cling and make you watch their click flickery.
I kinda agree, most women don't have hobbies. Ask the women you know, most won't give you a straight answer.
ask a woman any question and they won't give you a straight answer
Have a partner without their own goals and hobbies is a big part of the problem I think. I think a good question to ask is "what would you hope to accomplish if you had a whole day with nothing else to do?" Then fallow up with "when was the last time you did that?" If you get an answer like "Uh, I dunno. Just hang out with friends I guess." Then realize that YOU will be the friend and your partner will expect to be entertained by you in every free moment. If you get an answer like "I would go camping." Then you ask, "When did you last go camping?" If they haven't actually been camping recently then you know their just grasping for a non-pathetic answer. This is probably worst than the first answer because now their being dishonest.
From the title of the article I thought it was going to be about Jerking Off....Oh Well back to Jerkin'..ummm Playing games.
Lol wtf is going on with the modern man? Whats a gamer to do? Well why the hell would you marry someone who can't accept something your passionate about? I've got a few friends who are like this and sometimes I feel like squeezing inbetween their legs to see if they actually have balls. I'd never date or be in a relationship with someone who wouldn't allow me to game. It's a passionate hobby of mine and while I personally don't care if they understand it, but would never be with someone who couldn't accept it. Any idiot who is in a relationship and gets moaned at for wanting to spend an hour of their free time to game once in a while, needs to get some standards and more importantly, some self respect.
It's not about an hour once in a while. Some people play a lot more and can still handle a relationship. Why are you even on this site if you only play an hour once in a while, Mr. Casual?
Who needs them any way ? PS3 FTW ..
I've been married 13 years and over those years, the relationship has evolved as I'm sure it will for many of you younger guys that are in relationships. In the early years after marriage, your wife is wanting to be top priority and to be reminded of that. The article was spot on to this. Gaming just means she isn't top priority to you if you rush off to play every day when you come home from work or during the time you should be together, and you will hear about it. This isn't too tricky to resolve. If she goes to bed earlier then you, start your gaming after she is in bed, but try and spend time with her when she does go to bed (pause the game if you have to), it shows you are willing to put her first (and you might get a little action to boot :) ). If you go to bed about the same time, you have to be a little more imaginative. Try and allocate a window of time AFTER you have spent time with her. Maybe when she is watching her vampire love stories. If you have a woman that wants all your time all the time, you have to communicate that you want some time for your own pursuits as long as you are still giving her top priority. After you've been together a good amount of time, you'll notice that she isn't as demanding of your time as she was early on in the relationship. You are more like partners or companions now working together to raise kids, pay bills, etc and she isn't as insecure about her position in the relationship as she once was. You'll get more time for your own pursuits, but it's still important to keep her as the top priority. As far as hooking her on gaming, I would say that's probably not the best scenario. Unless every game you play is coop and you have convinced her she loves FPS's or whatever you like to play, you are likely going to be competing for play time. Much like with kids, I love to play with them on the Lego games or silly coop movie games, but that doesn't dominate my play time, it is just a nice hour or so of fun family time when we can all get together. Same should be said of the wife.
That was actually helpful. Bubbles for "Helpful"
Very helpful. Being a newly wed (just passed out 1 year a couple of month ago) what you say i find to be very true. Ill try what you say. Thanks much.
It's your own fault for marrying someone who doesn't like video games, or who doesn't at least tolerate it. You should never let anyone change who you are. You should have made a better decision before you married her. Obviously she's not the right one since it's such a big issue. You should have been more patient and found someone more tolerant of who you are, rather than marry the first person you meet who is sorta tolerant of some things and wants to change others. Anyone who tries to change who you are should get a boot to the curb. There's always someone out there who will like you for you, not for who they think they can change you into.
losing someone you love over something as trivial as video games is the wrong thing to do, if you believe video games are trivial at all. I certainly don't because video games are a big part of my life and have done everything that the author described for me and when I found my girlfriend I made sure she understood that. from time and time we have fun playing games together and its great because she understands me. Thats what I think the author needs to realize, its that from this article his wife doesn't understand him and doesn't care much about his interest and I would never marry my girlfriend or even be with her if she was that way
I must be one of the really lucky ones. My girlfriend and I have been together close to 6 years now and she is %100 completely fine with me gaming on a regular basis. She's even genuinely interested in them and quite often will want to hang out and watch me play them. She gives me strategy advice at times and remembers the story lines, everything. A REAL woman knows how to put up with her man when he's literally blowing his lid because he's on the final stages of defeating God of War 3 on chaos mode. When this happens, she brings me a cold beer. Ah, life can be great! Can't complain about a thing here. Cheers!
lol you lucky mowf*cka! that's a perfect example, of a real loving gf....most women now a days won't even make u a bowl of cereal, (seen it happen)...she's sounds like a real keeper blodluv! i'm happy for you! :)
Yep, she's great. Gracias!
This didn't sound like a gaming article. O_o
They need to be in the kitchen. That will give them soething to do rather then them always haveing to be around a guy 24/7.
give her some xanax. she passes out you game on.win win.lates
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