Dorkley.com gives a humorous run-down of seven girls you have dated and their video game console equivalents. Have you dated a PlayStation or Virtual Boy?
Darn, that's a hard title to decipher.
what is this? i clicked because of the picture in the thumbnail where were the pictures LIES!!!
yeah its a very common tactic on n4g :P the article is still a fun read though
"AHAHA I AM GOING TO SLAM EVERYONE HERE BUT MAKE SURE TO POINT OUT THAT I'M NOT AMONG THEM AHAHAHAHAHA" ^ That's you. It's ok, we still love you.
I'll give it to the author for actually being a bit creative. It wasn't that funny, but it was more interesting the usual fanboy posts we get around here.
Me too. But since I dropped by I ended up reading the article.
> article implies I've dated anyone.
There are people who have dated 7 girls? Who are these playboys? ;-) A lot of them were creative, though the one about the PS3 not liking to do many things doesn't seem to fit, in my opinion. Neither does the accessory part, really, unless you're talking about Move and 3D.
That picture is damn sexy! I clicked too!
:D I thought it was funny. Apparently 24 other people found my humor tasteless.
I mean WTF. Its not expensive anymore!! And if I had to pick one, i'd say my ex was most like.....the ps3. Only difference is that she was not expensive, just hard. Getting her was so so difficult. But that made succeeding all the more amazing. Kinda reminds me of demons souls.
"Look, you were young. It was seventh grade, and she had all the things you loved in your old girlfriend, but with more… depth. Hoping for a nostalgia trip, you looked her up recently. Big mistake – how did someone so devastatingly attractive end up looking so ugly? Maybe you should give SNES a call – I hear she’s as cute and fun as ever." Did they seriously just suggest that the SNES is still as fun as ever but PS1 isn't?
that most the games on PS1, 3d anyways, look like crap today. Where as the 2d games on snes still look ok, since they are 2d sprites. I dont think it has to do with fun. Another example, star fox(early polygons) on snes is almost impossible for me to play today because how it looks and controls. SMW is as playable as ever. I like the part about the DC the most, "hot tits"
If they still like colorful squares, there's no reason why they can't look past early 3D not looking spectacular. Besides, they said "cute AND FUN" EDIT: Pfft, Ps1 games don't look THAT bad.
Yeah, they do
"Ps1 games don't look THAT bad." they really do. PS1 is my favorite system of all time, but the graphics didn't age well at all. that doesn't take away from the fun of them.
I dated a moody girl who would sporadically get emotional and breakdown. Reminds me of my RROD on 360.
I'll never get these two minutes back. DAMN YOU!
Are you referring to the girl on the image and the possibility to get to look at some hot and sweet gaming-girls, but then you wound up with all these text describing none of the above? Have you considered pr0n-sites instead of hanging here? ;) At least then you know you gonna get to see something.
@ Major Jack Hoff It would have been funnier if you hadn't added the "not including myself" douchebag tactic. You're not fooling anyone. ha ha
Socom: Nurse, Super Sandwich Maker, Kitchen Kelly: Revenge of the Waterspots, Tale of a Vacuum, Good Girl: Head 1st, Bossnutts Command, Prego Posse
"Hot. Oh God, she’s so hot. Sometimes you think you could just sit and watch her talk all day. (Which is good, because often you’ll be doing just that.) Sure, she has expensive tastes, and doesn’t really like to do that many different things, and you’ll definitely have to buy her some accessories if you want to make the relationship work, but, um… we mentioned the hot part, right?" somebody has no effing clue what a ps3 actually is, does or involves.
well to me it sounded more like an xbox 360 lol
My description of an Xbox 360 would sound more like that hot, addictive, too-cool-for-you girl who just can't stand you being so clingy, so she ends it abruptly leaving you waiting for more... until an endless succession of her twins comes in the mail. I loved this article. I've actually dated the lions share of these types. I ended up marrying a Wii.
I didn't understand the whole accessories part. The only thing I ever bought extra for my PS3 was another controller. Could someone please explain that part?
I can explain that part. The author has no idea what he's talking about.
I think he means the wifi adapter, play and charge kit, hardrive, intercooler etc. .......... oh, wait
@Microsoft_Spokesman Lawl And I agree with wicko.
I didn't understand it either. The author made the Playstation 3 personality sound so shallow.
So the 360 still escapes the gold digger label. Looks reasonable at first, but needs more green to keep things going. Will end the relationship w/o warning. Meanwhile the PS3 is still the expensive one. There's a "Does Everything" joke in there, but I wont go there.
LMAO, I see what you did with the "Does Everything" joke ... The Xbox 360 in this article sounds like my Ex ... cept my real 360's been way more faithful than she ever was.
You know what? The PS3 actually ends up costing less than the 360. The PS3 section of the article didn't really work too well, and the writer should have included an "It only does everything" reference. Oh well, pleasant read.
The PS3, She only wanted to do everything, but then she only wanted one OS
She's gone from being three input, games, movies, other OS, to just two, is what I think you were trying to say... :p
I think you have it right Godmars. It should be for the PS3 "She relies on a fair initial outlay but settles well and ends up outperforming most while 'doing everything' if you know what I mean..." or something like that. Where the 360 "starts off really well and everything goes perfectly and you find yourself barely losing a dime to start with, then eventually asks for more and more if you really want to have fun with her..." or something to that extent. Also I reckon the N64 needs to be in there. "Unique too look at, but boy could you have some fun with her. Everything just seems to come out golden. And yet, you break it off with her for someone who looks to be the more attractive girlfriend. Yet nothing can ever fulfil that void left. Every time you see a picture you're reminded of how amazing the times you had with her and you just wish you could hold her again."
Well I love art so I guess the Wii...? Though the writing I must say especially for the Dreamcast was really nice. Got a bit of a chuckle out of this.
haha, dreamcast did have awesome boobs
Fun read but I disagree with the ps3 one on the "... you’ll definitely have to buy her some accessories if you want to make the relationship work" thats more in line of the 360 *add-ons* ,I would've have described it like so (the PS3 one if your wondering) : You and her had history since way back, but now you want to take it on a new level by proposing to her. After you got married, thing were rough as newlywed, things were going too slow but you knew that in the long run, she'll reward with the best sandwich there is and boy you weren't wrong.
it was a fun read. However the PS3 part was very inaccurate.
Funny. And keeping within that vein, remember were just having a joke here...., X360 to me is like the girl I hooked up with, while I was waiting for my true love to come back from holidays. It was 18 months yet she always felt temporary. Sure, the sex was good, not fantastic for a while, but she kept stealing change from my dresser drawer for every little thing. She left me 3 times but kept coming back, sometimes easily, sometimes at a cost. When my love finally came back I kept my 360 on the side for some casual fun every now and then for when I felt like hamburger instead of steak all the time, but I always resented her a little bit after I found out she gave me herpies. Plus I never liked her friends. C'mon people lighten up, I'm pissing myself here. Write a PS3 one back at me if you must, but dont take it to heart. If its funny, I'll bubble you.
PS3 is to me like this chick I met in Vegas. Hot as hell but wanted a really expensive dinner to begin the evening, then rest of the night was magical. It went by so fast, yet so slowly. In the morning I woke up and found out she brought me pancakes to bed. A few days later (after I came home) I found out I had 5 different genital infections, she only gave me everything. Still... was totally worth it.
You deserve an infinite amount of bubbles for that story. Bravo, good sir!
bloody hilarious bubbles to both
Pumbli, you win the internets!
My ex is like the PS3... She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen when I first saw her. I fell in love soon after and we dated for about 9 months. Then, her father died and she didn't want to put up with anyone...including me. : ( Actually, she's nothing like the PS3. The PS3 is still here. Bubbles?
BOOO! You stink!
How about a PSP instead? PSP is like the one girl you met one night out at the club. You never really expected to find anyone there, especially not one so enthralling. Somehow though, even though you didn't expect her, you still somehow managed to win her over as well. At first, she seems a bit distant and rather empty when you hang around with her. She doesn't have a lot of personality, and because she seemed so perfect when you met, you want to fix this. After finally getting her to open up, she becomes your most amazing girlfriend, and your closest friend. She is always with you, and yet you do not mind this. Every second with her feels absolutely sublime, and you hope that her burst of creativity and overwhelming personality never ends. ...But unfortunately, some things are too good to last. You neglect her for only a moment, to simply see how your more creative ex-girlfriend is doing. Not to actually start dating, but more of a moment to catch up. She sees your meeting with your ex, and decides to return to her former lifeless and hollow self. You do not want to abandon her, but the idea of returning to your ex-girlfriend is becoming more and more appealing. Your ex only wants your budding newfound attention, and her creative genius seems to grow only by the day. But you are stubborn that you will not leave or cheat on your current girlfriend. Not yet, at any rate.
After dating three crack whores in Nintendo Wii, PS3 and 360 I hooked a Jennifer Hawkins in PC. We've been inseparable since and commonly laugh at the inferior crackwhores who i once dabbled with in the dark days.
Strange, you sound quite the crackwhore yourself.
360 reminds me of a girl i used to know. She was really noisy, her apartment had no storage space, she scratched me alot, she stole my glasses so my eyesight was at a sub-hd resolution, and one morning she set fire
"Also her boobs are awesome. Like Jet Grind Radio" What a fun read, I must say.
the picture of the girl where the f**k is it - -!
I would have described the 360 as an STD prostitute. She is semi attractive, you pay to get her "extra" benefits and luckily you wear a condom. She dies of aids a few weeks later and you feel lucky you didnt catch it. You later ask the pimp for a refund but all he can offer you is a 3 year warranty replacement (crap that wasnt subtle...).
PsOne was like your first love You met her in high School and stayed faithful. You never thought you could meet anyone more interesting, fun or better looking. Then you went to college and left her home while you took your game to the next level, whilst trying to keep things nice between you two.
My beloved Dreamcast...
I had a dreamcast too.
The Wii describes my ex perfectly.
hahahahha funny article.
Wow. Great article.
My ex is more like the Philips 3DO... She looked so promising at first, gave me months of "good enough", and is now just great to look back at and have a chuckle. Also...I'm pretty sure Rule 34 has been applied to both of them. RULE 34 ON ALL CONSOLES!!! NOW!!!
Whats up with the ps3 dont do much. the part where you have to buy stuff for it to work. what that should be the 360. my ps3 does a lot haha.
She had no control, only a paddle. Kept screaming at me, "It's Burger Time!"
The Gamecube was fun. Even if she were squared. I like games rated E too, you know. She came in so many colors.
I've dated a Dreamcast.....but I married the PS3. Sure PS3 may be only 4 years old and a little fat, but lift up that little door and get a look at her naughty slots and you try not to swoon. Plus you can rotate her logo, it's hot shit.
they gets no pu$$y. and the girls i dated look like an angel with nice chest and bubble butts, but with an temper like a bull when they see red. good thing i know how to ball up and get the f#ck out of dodge.
Article of the day imo. That Dreamcast analogy was the best.
But I didn't get the part about the PS3 when they said 'she doesn't like to do different things' and 'you have to buy accessories to make it work' (but yes, the expensive part was spot on). For the PS3 I would have definitely gone with the expensive thing and maybe touched on saying something along the lines of "you're friends seem to prefer the 'xbox 360 girl' more" referring to how most developers go xbox 360 as the lead platform on multi-plat games.
I'm currently dating the "Virtual Boy" Minus the headache and regret. Blue Hair and Black Eyeliner might seem weird...but OH MY GOD, THE SEX IS AMAZING!!! ...Kinda scared me when she pulled out the Handcuffs, but I got used to it eventually. ;D