"Video games are awesome, but you know what’s better? Having a t-shirt of yourself giving the thumbs up and wearing it 6 days of the week (you’ve got to wash it once you know). Something else male gamers as simple-minded as myself tend to enjoy is another aspect of life aside from our virtual entertainment, and that’s the enigmatic and sometimes intimidating female creatures. Everyone has their own distinctive way of approaching the opposite gender. Like me for instance, I like to let them know that I am royalty on another planet and my favorite food is red. This tactic has a 2% success rate based on statistics I made up because whenever I actually see a girl I tend to grunt like monkey and sprint in the opposite direction..."