SPOnG Review: Alpha Protocol

'“So, it's kind of like Fallout 3 crossed with Splinter Cell?” Pete half-asked, half-stated. Holy turd-monkeys! That would be AMAZING, right?! Yeah. It would.

“Maybe,” I said. “If, you know, they took the bits that make each of them good away and left you with something that plays a bit like a stale biscuit.”

In fairness, Alpha Protocol starts on a high. It opens with that old 'SEGA' noise you used to get on the Mega Drive. It's all a bit downhill from there.'

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