Anything that accentuates the male scrotal evil is automatically evil. Like ‘Hitler on a bad moustache day’ evil. Because the human Johnson is clearly an inherently terrible thing, it should be concealed at all times, only be broken out under extreme circumstances. Perhaps, if you need to tie a rope around it to pull a car with, in order to break some sort of World’s Strongest Wang record.
That’s why, simply put, the following banana hammock-harbouring characters deserve nothing less than virtual vasectomies.