We are all sick. Not "pneumonia" sick, but symbolically sick. Any hardcore Zelda fan can attest to the ailment in their gaming life, one that has progressed in intensity over time, and one that continues to permeate our very existence, appearing in personal articles, creeping throughout our theories, and even lurching forward while running about Hyrule Field mid-game. We, the hardcore Zelda fans, are all victims ofthe Zelda Lover's Curse. Not only is this curse one we must live with, but it is one that claws at the very fabric of entertainment society, creating a being that doesn't play the games for enjoyment, but simply to criticize, analyze, and gut the very bane of our childhood.